This is what life's about. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

minnie · 08-31-2007, 03:47 PM

For those of you who don't know (and those that do, forgive me for cribbing from an earlier email), I have just returned from a sailing trip from Kinsale in Ireland to La Coruna in North West Spain. Had a great holiday and am rewarded with a fantastic sense of achievement. 550 miles across part of the North Atlantic in a 36' boat is no mean feat, yet we did it in strong winds and big waves with no major trauma. Pretty tiring and a little nerve-wracking at times, however the boat and crew were more than capable.

We had a delayed start to the trip as we waited for a storm to go through, but managed to occupy ourselves quite amply in Kinsale. Denny, I am sure you can appreciate that! I love it there, but hadn't been back since 1986, which made me feel incredibly old! Bro and I relived our youth in spades, tho, and spent some time pottering around in the inflatable and caught our tea of mackerel from the marina pontoon. By day 5 we were getting a bit port crazy and decided to take advantage of a gap between storms and set off. Luckily, we managed to make fantastic speed, which became important as another storm built up on days 2/3, but we managed to outrun it. We did have some strong winds, tho, and didn't have much sail up for a large part of the crossing and we had to contend with the effect of the previous storm as far as the waves were concerned. Bizarrely, it was much easier to helm at night when you had to steer instinctively, rather than by sight. I didn't miss the analogy of that situation......

Bit disappointed in the lack of wildlife we managed to observe, although this was partly due to the conditions, yet there have been reports that numbers are way down in Biscay this year. Besides, it's a bit hard to whale watch when you can't see over the next wave! We were bid adieu by some Irish dolphins, tho, and greeted on the other side by their Spanish cousins. Also saw some flying fish, turtles, sun fish and some whales blowing in the distance. Oh, and the most amazing fireball as some space junk re-entered the atmosphere at about 3 in the morning. It lit up the whole sky like a flare - spooked me out until I realised what it was. Unfortunately, the Perseid meteor shower didn't amount to much, which was a shame given that we had zero light pollution, apart form the screens on our MP3 players that we forgot to turn down. Amazing views of the Milky Way, tho. The boat was a dream and lived up to her billing as an ocean going yacht. I have a strange affinity for this boat (Osprey) that I have mentioned before and I was never in any doubt that she would look after us. In a previous life, she has sailed in the waters to which we were headed and we had the old charts on board, complete with pencil markings and used one of those positions as our landfall "waypoint" on the GPS - very odd to think that when the alarm went off that she had been over that very same piece of ocean floor all those years ago. It was along time coming, though, given that it was 499 miles on the GPS from Kinsale!! (The passage was longer through the water because we spent a lot of time going on the vertical plane up and down waves!)

We arrived in Sada at 11.30 at night on Day 4, a day ahead of schedule, to a fantastic firework display. Contrary to the crew's opinion, this was not in celebration of our arrival, however it was a brilliant finale to the video!

Northern Spain is brilliant. Not quite as much historical interest as I thought there might be, although Santiago de la Compostela is worth a visit. Given that it is a major Catholic pilgrimage destination, I did feel a little out of place amongst the walkers in tears on their arrival, however the old town and cathedral were certainly something to behold. In general, I found the people to be unbelievably friendly, and found the lack of aggression and latent hostility very refreshing - something that was put into stark contrast when I returned to the UK and my airport bus was stoned by some pre-teen yobs. What a welcome home! Anyway, Spain was cheap, the food was amazing, the wine equally so and the people extremely hospitable, despite the language barrier. And we met lots of lovely fellow long distance sailors, including a German couple who shared their boat with a dog and a cat. We decided that, companionable though it would be, Mia would not take to life aboard ship given her insatiable curiosity and love of all things high up. I, for one, was not going to climb the mast to rescue her!

I think I am in a different place now. I am more clear than ever that if I can't find my niche in the UK, then I have to move abroad. This country is on a downhill slide and I have a choice whether to be a part of the solution or stand by and watch the decline. Tbh, I am done fighting for the time being. The task is just too enormous and the battle against bureaucracy too onerous. There were some very interesting family dynamics going on this trip to which I instinctively took a back seat, which is something new for me. That option to choose my battles has been hard won and I have to take heed. I am in an observation stage of my growth and it amazing what I am seeing for the first time. It is no wonder that I have such an incessant chatterbox in my head, when there is constant criticism and judgmentalism coming from my parents' mouths. Of course, it is not particularly overt, and would not jar with your average joe, however I have come to hear it for what it is and chose not to be a part of it. That may not always be a popular decision, however it is one that I stand by.

Hey ho, back to the real world. Having said that, I may fly out to Portugal (where Osprey is heading pending my parent's Med cruise next year) for a week later in September if funds and job search allow. I will certainly be using the boat as a base for some weekends away during the winter, as well as making use of our low cost flights to other places in Europe.

This will probably be my last contribution here. I will always cherish the love and support I have received from SR over the years and hold dear the friends I have made who know me better than anyone else in my life. It's time to move on - I refuse to let my life be defined by an encounter with someone with a drink problem (and the rest) and I find it increasingly hard to delve back into the dark time in my life in order to reach out to others. I hope that I have been able, with many others, to carry the torch for a while, however it is now time to pass it on. Keep that flame alive and remember that life is for living, not simply for surviving.

MsGolightly · 08-31-2007, 04:03 PM

minnie, i didn't get to know you very well, but i'm glad you had an exciting trip and i'll miss your contributions here!

FormerDoormat · 08-31-2007, 04:39 PM

I'll miss you.

ARealLady · 08-31-2007, 04:52 PM

All the best to you, Minnie! Please don't delete your account in case it deletes all your posts...great reading! Take care!

ARL

Pick-a-name · 08-31-2007, 05:07 PM

All the best to you,Minnie!

Mr. Christian · 08-31-2007, 05:56 PM

Take care my friend

duet_4-8 · 08-31-2007, 06:18 PM

I wish you the best!

Lady BlueMiles · 08-31-2007, 06:33 PM

Sure wish I'd found SR a long time ago. I regret missing the opportunity to get to know you better. But I've saved some of your great posts. I can certainly understand your need to move on and wish you all the best life has to offer.

TexasGirl · 08-31-2007, 06:57 PM

Maybe I'm just sentimental tonight, but now you've got me crying.
I'm overdue for my first trip overseas. I'm hoping for Spring '08. Maybe I'll see you.

***Rella927*** · 09-01-2007, 12:25 PM

Minnie

You will be greatly missed! I have had the pleasure over the past few years of reading and gaining alot of quality knowledge from you, which I will always treasure.
I wish you the best today and always!

It sounds like you have a wonderful and amazing endeavour planned for yourself and you deserve every bit of it!

Enjoy it sweetie take care XOXO

*Ceridwen · 09-01-2007, 01:58 PM

Hey,

I'll miss your words and insight, which have helped me loads (although I don't post much): but

Quote:

I refuse to let my life be defined by an encounter with someone with a drink problem

abso-bl**dy-lutely

I am smiling for you.

you have grabbed your life by the short and curlies and are off to pastures new,

you go girl!!

Lxx

minnie · 09-01-2007, 02:31 PM

You guys crack me up. *note to self* when writing or speaking, it is the last thing you say that sticks in peoples minds. No-one at all interested in the rest of the post, then?!

Thank you for your kind words. I wasn't on a fishing trip here - the bit about moving on was an afterthought. I just wanted to share with you what moving on irl was all about - especially the fact that I am now able to appreciate things like the Milky Way and seeing dolphins, not to mention being able to face up to my fears and venture out on a trip where 4 of us were entirely responsible for ourselves. We were too far from land for any quick assistance (check out the bit of sea between Kinsale and La Coruna on Google Maps), so it was up to us. If there has ever been a more wonderful metaphor for my recovery............... In addition, I couldn't wash my hair for 4 days, which was a huge mountain to climb!

Expand your horizons, peeps - just as I think that ambition is the best form of contraception, seeing beyond your own 4 square walls (literally or metaphorically) is like pouring kerosene on a bonfire as far as recovery goes.

denny57 · 09-01-2007, 03:48 PM

I could not resist minnie - if you're heading out you're heading out on a thanks button!

Isn't life grand?

prodigal · 09-01-2007, 04:05 PM

I haven't been to Europe since the late 80's, so I enjoyed reading about your trip. Spain and Portugal have been tops on my list of places to visit for a number of years. I have benefitted from your knowledge, and I applaud your choice to move on and find your niche. Thank you for your valuable contributions to this board. Have a great life!

Spiritual Seeker · 09-01-2007, 04:56 PM

The last part of your post above is the one with emotional impact; the one that gets us thinking. Thanks for all the ESH & twelve stepping here so well.
It is sad to see a friend move away but I am happy for you as you embrace change.
I love Spain too and always find it exciting. Happy trails.......

***ICU*** · 09-01-2007, 05:46 PM

Minnie,

I didn't respond right away because I wanted to convey what was in my heart as best I could.

You have been a rock for me and a source of deeply rooted and much needed soul searching. So many sparks of growth have come from our interactions here...much more than I'm comfortable admitting. However, I am deeply grateful to you for that.

You have also been like a mirror that I looked into to see my own reflection. Many times I didn't like the view, but it was a necessary step for me. And I thank you for that too.

So I don't get too emotional, I'll contact you via private email.

In the meantime, happy trails/sails my friend. I wish you the absolute best...you deserve it. And I am so glad that you are doing what is best for 'you'!!!

Hugs, sobs, and more hugs,

Me

P.S. I do understand the initial point of your message. I just have little experience to share as I'm just beginning to 'dream' of what life is about. But, I am certainly working on it! '-)

hbb · 09-01-2007, 06:18 PM

Thank you so much Minnie for all your help and wisdom here

I appreciate everything you've done for me and my situation. Take care and maybe someday i'll be back to the UK

Thanks again!

FormerDoormat · 09-01-2007, 06:45 PM

I suppose, Minnie, that folks are just responding to what is the most significant part of your post--to them. Perhaps I'll ponder your post and what you relayed about your trip for a few minutes or so, but I'll miss you for a lifetime.

And just because you find it so amusing, I feel forced to hit that "thank you" button myself. Here I go....

08-31-2007, 03:47 PM	#1 (permalink)
minnie Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: England Posts: 3,417	This is what life's about. For those of you who don't know (and those that do, forgive me for cribbing from an earlier email), I have just returned from a sailing trip from Kinsale in Ireland to La Coruna in North West Spain. Had a great holiday and am rewarded with a fantastic sense of achievement. 550 miles across part of the North Atlantic in a 36' boat is no mean feat, yet we did it in strong winds and big waves with no major trauma. Pretty tiring and a little nerve-wracking at times, however the boat and crew were more than capable. We had a delayed start to the trip as we waited for a storm to go through, but managed to occupy ourselves quite amply in Kinsale. Denny, I am sure you can appreciate that! I love it there, but hadn't been back since 1986, which made me feel incredibly old! Bro and I relived our youth in spades, tho, and spent some time pottering around in the inflatable and caught our tea of mackerel from the marina pontoon. By day 5 we were getting a bit port crazy and decided to take advantage of a gap between storms and set off. Luckily, we managed to make fantastic speed, which became important as another storm built up on days 2/3, but we managed to outrun it. We did have some strong winds, tho, and didn't have much sail up for a large part of the crossing and we had to contend with the effect of the previous storm as far as the waves were concerned. Bizarrely, it was much easier to helm at night when you had to steer instinctively, rather than by sight. I didn't miss the analogy of that situation...... Bit disappointed in the lack of wildlife we managed to observe, although this was partly due to the conditions, yet there have been reports that numbers are way down in Biscay this year. Besides, it's a bit hard to whale watch when you can't see over the next wave! We were bid adieu by some Irish dolphins, tho, and greeted on the other side by their Spanish cousins. Also saw some flying fish, turtles, sun fish and some whales blowing in the distance. Oh, and the most amazing fireball as some space junk re-entered the atmosphere at about 3 in the morning. It lit up the whole sky like a flare - spooked me out until I realised what it was. Unfortunately, the Perseid meteor shower didn't amount to much, which was a shame given that we had zero light pollution, apart form the screens on our MP3 players that we forgot to turn down. Amazing views of the Milky Way, tho. The boat was a dream and lived up to her billing as an ocean going yacht. I have a strange affinity for this boat (Osprey) that I have mentioned before and I was never in any doubt that she would look after us. In a previous life, she has sailed in the waters to which we were headed and we had the old charts on board, complete with pencil markings and used one of those positions as our landfall "waypoint" on the GPS - very odd to think that when the alarm went off that she had been over that very same piece of ocean floor all those years ago. It was along time coming, though, given that it was 499 miles on the GPS from Kinsale!! (The passage was longer through the water because we spent a lot of time going on the vertical plane up and down waves!) We arrived in Sada at 11.30 at night on Day 4, a day ahead of schedule, to a fantastic firework display. Contrary to the crew's opinion, this was not in celebration of our arrival, however it was a brilliant finale to the video! Northern Spain is brilliant. Not quite as much historical interest as I thought there might be, although Santiago de la Compostela is worth a visit. Given that it is a major Catholic pilgrimage destination, I did feel a little out of place amongst the walkers in tears on their arrival, however the old town and cathedral were certainly something to behold. In general, I found the people to be unbelievably friendly, and found the lack of aggression and latent hostility very refreshing - something that was put into stark contrast when I returned to the UK and my airport bus was stoned by some pre-teen yobs. What a welcome home! Anyway, Spain was cheap, the food was amazing, the wine equally so and the people extremely hospitable, despite the language barrier. And we met lots of lovely fellow long distance sailors, including a German couple who shared their boat with a dog and a cat. We decided that, companionable though it would be, Mia would not take to life aboard ship given her insatiable curiosity and love of all things high up. I, for one, was not going to climb the mast to rescue her! I think I am in a different place now. I am more clear than ever that if I can't find my niche in the UK, then I have to move abroad. This country is on a downhill slide and I have a choice whether to be a part of the solution or stand by and watch the decline. Tbh, I am done fighting for the time being. The task is just too enormous and the battle against bureaucracy too onerous. There were some very interesting family dynamics going on this trip to which I instinctively took a back seat, which is something new for me. That option to choose my battles has been hard won and I have to take heed. I am in an observation stage of my growth and it amazing what I am seeing for the first time. It is no wonder that I have such an incessant chatterbox in my head, when there is constant criticism and judgmentalism coming from my parents' mouths. Of course, it is not particularly overt, and would not jar with your average joe, however I have come to hear it for what it is and chose not to be a part of it. That may not always be a popular decision, however it is one that I stand by. Hey ho, back to the real world. Having said that, I may fly out to Portugal (where Osprey is heading pending my parent's Med cruise next year) for a week later in September if funds and job search allow. I will certainly be using the boat as a base for some weekends away during the winter, as well as making use of our low cost flights to other places in Europe. This will probably be my last contribution here. I will always cherish the love and support I have received from SR over the years and hold dear the friends I have made who know me better than anyone else in my life. It's time to move on - I refuse to let my life be defined by an encounter with someone with a drink problem (and the rest) and I find it increasingly hard to delve back into the dark time in my life in order to reach out to others. I hope that I have been able, with many others, to carry the torch for a while, however it is now time to pass it on. Keep that flame alive and remember that life is for living, not simply for surviving.

08-31-2007, 04:03 PM	#2 (permalink)
MsGolightly Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 792	minnie, i didn't get to know you very well, but i'm glad you had an exciting trip and i'll miss your contributions here! __________________ "Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." - Kahlil Gibran

08-31-2007, 04:39 PM	#3 (permalink)
FormerDoormat Wipe your paws elsewhere! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Puppy Heaven Posts: 3,115	I'll miss you. __________________ "Get busy living or get busy dying." --Shawshank Redemption "Do I want to live while I'm alive and embrace what sustains me or do I want to die while I'm alive and embrace what destroys me?--Geneen Roth "The bare minimum my partner needs to give me is 100%."--Wpgwoman

08-31-2007, 04:52 PM	#4 (permalink)
ARealLady Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 452	All the best to you, Minnie! Please don't delete your account in case it deletes all your posts...great reading! Take care! ARL __________________ "The only people that will be allowed in my life are the ones that will "enhance it". ICU at SR 2007

08-31-2007, 05:56 PM	#6 (permalink)
Mr. Christian My Cape Is at The Cleaners Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Metropolis Posts: 1,117	Take care my friend __________________ They can be a great people Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way.

08-31-2007, 05:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
Pick-a-name Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 2,582	All the best to you,Minnie!

08-31-2007, 06:18 PM	#7 (permalink)
duet_4-8 A work in progress.... Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: FREE!!!! Somewhere in the Tennessee Mountains Posts: 941	I wish you the best! __________________ Jen "The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life really takes place."-Barbara Deangelis

08-31-2007, 06:33 PM	#8 (permalink)
Lady BlueMiles Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: New Jersey Posts: 178	Sure wish I'd found SR a long time ago. I regret missing the opportunity to get to know you better. But I've saved some of your great posts. I can certainly understand your need to move on and wish you all the best life has to offer. __________________ . . . . . . . . . . . . . You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. Buddha

08-31-2007, 06:57 PM	#9 (permalink)
TexasGirl Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Texas Posts: 784	Maybe I'm just sentimental tonight, but now you've got me crying. I'm overdue for my first trip overseas. I'm hoping for Spring '08. Maybe I'll see you. __________________ Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor. ~Dr. Alexis Carrel There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~AnaÃ¯s Nin

09-01-2007, 12:25 PM	#10 (permalink)
*Rella927* ¢σммυηιту gяєєтєя Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Spreading my wings Posts: 6,616	Minnie You will be greatly missed! I have had the pleasure over the past few years of reading and gaining alot of quality knowledge from you, which I will always treasure. I wish you the best today and always! It sounds like you have a wonderful and amazing endeavour planned for yourself and you deserve every bit of it! Enjoy it sweetie take care XOXO __________________ Dance as though no one is watching you Love as though you have never been hurt before Live as though heaven is on earth.

09-01-2007, 02:31 PM	#12 (permalink)
minnie Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: England Posts: 3,417	You guys crack me up. note to self when writing or speaking, it is the last thing you say that sticks in peoples minds. No-one at all interested in the rest of the post, then?! Thank you for your kind words. I wasn't on a fishing trip here - the bit about moving on was an afterthought. I just wanted to share with you what moving on irl was all about - especially the fact that I am now able to appreciate things like the Milky Way and seeing dolphins, not to mention being able to face up to my fears and venture out on a trip where 4 of us were entirely responsible for ourselves. We were too far from land for any quick assistance (check out the bit of sea between Kinsale and La Coruna on Google Maps), so it was up to us. If there has ever been a more wonderful metaphor for my recovery............... In addition, I couldn't wash my hair for 4 days, which was a huge mountain to climb! Expand your horizons, peeps - just as I think that ambition is the best form of contraception, seeing beyond your own 4 square walls (literally or metaphorically) is like pouring kerosene on a bonfire as far as recovery goes.

09-01-2007, 03:48 PM	#13 (permalink)
denny57 Free at last Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,911	I could not resist minnie - if you're heading out you're heading out on a thanks button! Isn't life grand? __________________ We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. Albert Einstein

09-01-2007, 04:05 PM	#14 (permalink)
prodigal prodigal Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: My side of the litterbox-keepin' it clean Posts: 1,869	I haven't been to Europe since the late 80's, so I enjoyed reading about your trip. Spain and Portugal have been tops on my list of places to visit for a number of years. I have benefitted from your knowledge, and I applaud your choice to move on and find your niche. Thank you for your valuable contributions to this board. Have a great life! __________________ Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love.

09-01-2007, 04:56 PM	#15 (permalink)
Spiritual Seeker get it, give it, grow in it Join Date: May 2007 Location: Calif coast Posts: 2,162	The last part of your post above is the one with emotional impact; the one that gets us thinking. Thanks for all the ESH & twelve stepping here so well. It is sad to see a friend move away but I am happy for you as you embrace change. I love Spain too and always find it exciting. Happy trails.......

09-01-2007, 05:46 PM	#16 (permalink)
*ICU* Community Greeter Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 1,358	Minnie, I didn't respond right away because I wanted to convey what was in my heart as best I could. You have been a rock for me and a source of deeply rooted and much needed soul searching. So many sparks of growth have come from our interactions here...much more than I'm comfortable admitting. However, I am deeply grateful to you for that. You have also been like a mirror that I looked into to see my own reflection. Many times I didn't like the view, but it was a necessary step for me. And I thank you for that too. So I don't get too emotional, I'll contact you via private email. In the meantime, happy trails/sails my friend. I wish you the absolute best...you deserve it. And I am so glad that you are doing what is best for 'you'!!! Hugs, sobs, and more hugs, Me P.S. I do understand the initial point of your message. I just have little experience to share as I'm just beginning to 'dream' of what life is about. But, I am certainly working on it! '-) __________________ What I have shared in this or any post are my opinions, based on my perception and experiences. Last edited by ICU; 09-01-2007 at 06:02 PM.

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09-01-2007, 06:18 PM	#17 (permalink)
hbb Live, Laugh, Love Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Between Fenway and the Beach! Posts: 1,293	Thank you so much Minnie for all your help and wisdom here I appreciate everything you've done for me and my situation. Take care and maybe someday i'll be back to the UK Thanks again! __________________ Heather "Happiness often sneaks through a door we didn't know we left open"

09-01-2007, 06:45 PM	#18 (permalink)
FormerDoormat Wipe your paws elsewhere! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Puppy Heaven Posts: 3,115	I suppose, Minnie, that folks are just responding to what is the most significant part of your post--to them. Perhaps I'll ponder your post and what you relayed about your trip for a few minutes or so, but I'll miss you for a lifetime. And just because you find it so amusing, I feel forced to hit that "thank you" button myself. Here I go.... __________________ "Get busy living or get busy dying." --Shawshank Redemption "Do I want to live while I'm alive and embrace what sustains me or do I want to die while I'm alive and embrace what destroys me?--Geneen Roth "The bare minimum my partner needs to give me is 100%."--Wpgwoman

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