The more things change, the more they remain the same. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sad#3 · 08-17-2007, 12:43 AM

Well here it is 9 months later and nothing has changed. Tonight she's so drunk, she doesn't know who I am. Was calling me by her ex husband's name. And babbling stuff that made no sense at all.. She just got her career back, but can she hang on to it? Even so, I expect her to either be dead or her health ruined in no more than 10 years, if that... She's cheated the long term effects of alcohol long enough... Her luck will soon run out. Right now, I really don't like her for all the **** she puts me through. It has to be taking a toll on my health.

yourgirl · 08-17-2007, 02:57 AM

When my AH was so drunk he didn't know who I was I realized he didn't care to know either. I always say A's are preserved in alchohol and never die. We must take care of our own health for the time comes as it did for me that we will be without them . Stay healthy, pray. and stay on this site cause it makes you feel good.

WhatAboutME · 08-17-2007, 05:33 AM

Sadly, nothing changes if nothing changes. My AH was released from JAIL (after we let him sit there for just over 2 weeks) for charges of DUI, resisting arrest w/violence and battery against a police officer. He wasn't sober for even 48 hours. He doesn't live w/ me anymore, but this is what I'm hearing from his Mother (who he's living with).

Even though we've all had more than enough of his drinking, he's just not ready. This disease is just so sad...and so very devastating. I doubt he'll last a year at this rate, if he doesn't go to prison that is.

Janitw · 08-17-2007, 05:39 AM

Hugs coming your way Sad... I remember all too well how my XAH was when drunk and it was never pretty....my children won't forget how their father didnt even know who they were...me too but it didnt bother me nearly as bad as when he didnt recognize them....its awful to say the least. They seem to be living in the past....and sometimes its the past before we their loved ones were ever present. It hurts and I feel your pain....stay strong.

Mr. Christian · 08-17-2007, 05:51 AM

Without program for the both of you NOTHING will change.

So with this and everything else after 9 months, what are your plans for change?

cagefree · 08-17-2007, 06:24 AM

What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results...

justjo · 08-17-2007, 07:00 AM

Hi Sad, I hear your pain and it is a terrible emotional rollercoaster, especially when its someone we really love.
I guess she has to admit that she has a problem first, then get some professional help in your area. How long has she been like this and is it a daily event?
My sis, is drunk most of the time day/night and I expect I will loose her before the end of the year. She refuses any professional help and the addiction is getting worse every week.
I guess you have to decided how long you are willing to take this. The tolerance time is different for all of us and I now believe this determines how long we do take it. We always love them, but you start to accept reality I guess.
My heart goes out to you Sad and I wish you all the best. Keep coming back ok....it took me along time to let go and there is some great advise in these forums. You will eventually get the answers you need. I did

parentrecovers · 08-17-2007, 07:26 AM

hugs, sad - it's a hard road, i understand. blessings, k

denny57 · 08-17-2007, 08:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sad#3

Even so, I expect her to either be dead or her health ruined in no more than 10 years, if that...

What do you expect for yourself in those 10 years?

((()))

sad#3 · 08-26-2007, 03:33 AM

She's evil and continues to hurt me in ways, I've never been hurt too. She does it intentionally too. She admitted as much.. Truly full of wickedness. I'm a no dick mother ****** among other things, can't **** as well as past lovers, etc. Totally no respect.. Guess I don't think much of myself.

Mr. Christian · 08-26-2007, 06:55 AM

Guess you need to make a move huh?

respektingme · 08-26-2007, 08:16 AM

That is very sad. I googled "blame" and "alcoholism" one day. I'm telling you, you would not believe the number of articles that come up about it. It's very typical for alcoholics to blame others. There's a number of tactics that they use to get what they want (which is to drink and get others off their backs), and being extremely hurtful is one of them. I've been through similar with my AH. If they only knew how bad it hurt, and how long the words stick in our heads.

I'm sorry you are going through this. For now, get some ear plugs and put them in when she's drinking. Or leave the room. Don't stay around her because you know what's coming. Do not listen to her hurtful words. Protect yourself.

FormerDoormat · 08-26-2007, 09:16 AM

Mohandas Ghandi says:

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." So, to extrapolate on that a bit, let me ask you this:

What changes have YOU made in your life in the past 9 months? If the answer is none, then that explains why nothing has changed.

08-17-2007, 12:43 AM	#1 (permalink)
sad#3 Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: ft. bend texas Posts: 147	The more things change, the more they remain the same. Well here it is 9 months later and nothing has changed. Tonight she's so drunk, she doesn't know who I am. Was calling me by her ex husband's name. And babbling stuff that made no sense at all.. She just got her career back, but can she hang on to it? Even so, I expect her to either be dead or her health ruined in no more than 10 years, if that... She's cheated the long term effects of alcohol long enough... Her luck will soon run out. Right now, I really don't like her for all the **** she puts me through. It has to be taking a toll on my health.

08-17-2007, 05:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
Mr. Christian My Cape Is at The Cleaners Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Metropolis Posts: 1,117	Without program for the both of you NOTHING will change. So with this and everything else after 9 months, what are your plans for change? __________________ They can be a great people Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way.

08-17-2007, 06:24 AM	#6 (permalink)
cagefree Enjoying life outside the cage Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: New England Posts: 612	What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results... __________________ Got my two feet on the ground - breathin in and breathin out. Oh Yeah...Life is Good -JoDee Messina "Life is Good"

08-26-2007, 06:55 AM	#11 (permalink)
Mr. Christian My Cape Is at The Cleaners Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Metropolis Posts: 1,117	Guess you need to make a move huh? __________________ They can be a great people Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way.

08-26-2007, 09:16 AM	#13 (permalink)
FormerDoormat Wipe your paws elsewhere! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Puppy Heaven Posts: 3,115	Mohandas Ghandi says: "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." So, to extrapolate on that a bit, let me ask you this: What changes have YOU made in your life in the past 9 months? If the answer is none, then that explains why nothing has changed. __________________ "Get busy living or get busy dying." --Shawshank Redemption "Do I want to live while I'm alive and embrace what sustains me or do I want to die while I'm alive and embrace what destroys me?--Geneen Roth "The bare minimum my partner needs to give me is 100%."--Wpgwoman

08-17-2007, 02:57 AM	#2 (permalink)
yourgirl Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 31	When my AH was so drunk he didn't know who I was I realized he didn't care to know either. I always say A's are preserved in alchohol and never die. We must take care of our own health for the time comes as it did for me that we will be without them . Stay healthy, pray. and stay on this site cause it makes you feel good.

08-17-2007, 05:33 AM	#3 (permalink)
WhatAboutME Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Jacksonville, FL Posts: 240	Sadly, nothing changes if nothing changes. My AH was released from JAIL (after we let him sit there for just over 2 weeks) for charges of DUI, resisting arrest w/violence and battery against a police officer. He wasn't sober for even 48 hours. He doesn't live w/ me anymore, but this is what I'm hearing from his Mother (who he's living with). Even though we've all had more than enough of his drinking, he's just not ready. This disease is just so sad...and so very devastating. I doubt he'll last a year at this rate, if he doesn't go to prison that is.

08-17-2007, 05:39 AM	#4 (permalink)
Janitw Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: OHIO Posts: 837	Hugs coming your way Sad... I remember all too well how my XAH was when drunk and it was never pretty....my children won't forget how their father didnt even know who they were...me too but it didnt bother me nearly as bad as when he didnt recognize them....its awful to say the least. They seem to be living in the past....and sometimes its the past before we their loved ones were ever present. It hurts and I feel your pain....stay strong.

08-17-2007, 07:00 AM	#7 (permalink)
justjo Sunny Side Up Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Aust Posts: 2,475	Hi Sad, I hear your pain and it is a terrible emotional rollercoaster, especially when its someone we really love. I guess she has to admit that she has a problem first, then get some professional help in your area. How long has she been like this and is it a daily event? My sis, is drunk most of the time day/night and I expect I will loose her before the end of the year. She refuses any professional help and the addiction is getting worse every week. I guess you have to decided how long you are willing to take this. The tolerance time is different for all of us and I now believe this determines how long we do take it. We always love them, but you start to accept reality I guess. My heart goes out to you Sad and I wish you all the best. Keep coming back ok....it took me along time to let go and there is some great advise in these forums. You will eventually get the answers you need. I did

08-17-2007, 07:26 AM	#8 (permalink)
parentrecovers Scrummy Holly-Tinsel Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: USA Posts: 12,034	hugs, sad - it's a hard road, i understand. blessings, k

08-26-2007, 03:33 AM	#10 (permalink)
sad#3 Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: ft. bend texas Posts: 147	She's evil and continues to hurt me in ways, I've never been hurt too. She does it intentionally too. She admitted as much.. Truly full of wickedness. I'm a no dick mother **** among other things, can't ** as well as past lovers, etc. Totally no respect.. Guess I don't think much of myself.

08-26-2007, 08:16 AM	#12 (permalink)
respektingme Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 572	That is very sad. I googled "blame" and "alcoholism" one day. I'm telling you, you would not believe the number of articles that come up about it. It's very typical for alcoholics to blame others. There's a number of tactics that they use to get what they want (which is to drink and get others off their backs), and being extremely hurtful is one of them. I've been through similar with my AH. If they only knew how bad it hurt, and how long the words stick in our heads. I'm sorry you are going through this. For now, get some ear plugs and put them in when she's drinking. Or leave the room. Don't stay around her because you know what's coming. Do not listen to her hurtful words. Protect yourself.

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