Trying to figure all this out. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

05-22-2003, 04:40 AM

I have been reading through all the posts trying to figure out how to start doing all the steps. First question is, what if I dont have a higher power?
Second is, so many of you speak of your 'a' being in a program or going to aa, how did you get them to do that? Mine doesnt even think he has a problem.

Jewel · 05-22-2003, 05:15 AM

Rosedreamer Hi, and welcome

First of all you have to start wuth step one, We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, and that our lives have become umangeable.

My son is an A, and at the moment he has just come out of the prison cells, and was up in court on Sat morning, he has no money, nowhere to live, and he has nothing left. I am sat here writing this knowing I am completely powerless over my son's life and his decisions.

It is so hard to accept, but I have tried everything in my power to help him, and nothing has worked. I have to let go and get on with my owm life, and that is hard enough, knowing he is out there in a mess.

Step one is the hardest step to do, but do it you must if you want to go on to the other steps.

And believe me you do have a Higher Power you just don't know it yet.

Love and hugs
Jewel

lyn_blossom78 · 05-22-2003, 06:01 AM

Rosedreamer:

Good questions! I like Jewel's reply--that you have an HP, you just don't know it yet!

I'll share mine with you, if you like.

As far as getting your husband to a meeting, I would say that's a decision he has to make. Mine doesn't believe he has a problem yet, either--thinks it's all me! Or I should say, he tries to put the blame on me--not happening!

The best thing to do, is take care of you. You can't change him, but you can change you, and how you react to him.

Take care,

Lyn

Sunshine28 · 05-22-2003, 08:22 AM

Hello Rosedreamer...

When I first tried to figure out the steps it was not very easy for me...but when I finally stoped making it MY problem, it all fell into place.

Your higher power could be anything or anyone you want it to be. Learning to let go is hard but your HP can be your strength.

This place is wonderful, you will find everyone feels similar to you and all our situations are as well.

You have to start focusing on you.

As for your husbend, you cannot make him change, go to a meeting or seek help, he has to want that for himself.

Be good to you

Many huggs!!!

Steph

05-22-2003, 04:40 AM	#1 (permalink)
Rosedreamer Guest Posts: n/a	Trying to figure all this out. I have been reading through all the posts trying to figure out how to start doing all the steps. First question is, what if I dont have a higher power? Second is, so many of you speak of your 'a' being in a program or going to aa, how did you get them to do that? Mine doesnt even think he has a problem.

05-22-2003, 06:01 AM	#3 (permalink)
lyn_blossom78 Member Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Ohio Posts: 444	Rosedreamer: Good questions! I like Jewel's reply--that you have an HP, you just don't know it yet! I'll share mine with you, if you like. As far as getting your husband to a meeting, I would say that's a decision he has to make. Mine doesn't believe he has a problem yet, either--thinks it's all me! Or I should say, he tries to put the blame on me--not happening! The best thing to do, is take care of you. You can't change him, but you can change you, and how you react to him. Take care, Lyn __________________ If God is for us, who can be against us?

05-22-2003, 08:22 AM	#4 (permalink)
Sunshine28 Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Reading, PA Posts: 24	Hello Rosedreamer... When I first tried to figure out the steps it was not very easy for me...but when I finally stoped making it MY problem, it all fell into place. Your higher power could be anything or anyone you want it to be. Learning to let go is hard but your HP can be your strength. This place is wonderful, you will find everyone feels similar to you and all our situations are as well. You have to start focusing on you. As for your husbend, you cannot make him change, go to a meeting or seek help, he has to want that for himself. Be good to you Many huggs!!! Steph __________________ Setbacks pave the way for comebacks.....

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05-22-2003, 05:15 AM	#2 (permalink)
Jewel Member Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 62	Rosedreamer Hi, and welcome First of all you have to start wuth step one, We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, and that our lives have become umangeable. My son is an A, and at the moment he has just come out of the prison cells, and was up in court on Sat morning, he has no money, nowhere to live, and he has nothing left. I am sat here writing this knowing I am completely powerless over my son's life and his decisions. It is so hard to accept, but I have tried everything in my power to help him, and nothing has worked. I have to let go and get on with my owm life, and that is hard enough, knowing he is out there in a mess. Step one is the hardest step to do, but do it you must if you want to go on to the other steps. And believe me you do have a Higher Power you just don't know it yet. Love and hugs Jewel

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