just left the police station

[LGLG07]

After being gone from the house since Sunday with the kids (we left because ah was drinking again , something he adamantly denied) I got several phone calls from ah this afternoon and in many of them he threatened suicide .

So I did what I always knew I should do , what I have adviced others to do , and what I never thought I would have the guts to do ... I called the police on him .
I was two hours away , I called our local Police Dept and explained the situation to them , they sent a car to check on ah , he was drunk but cooperative. They took him to the hospital . When the officer called me back to tell me he was in the hospital detox I told him that I really wanted to return to my home but didnt want to risk ah showing up there when he was discharged (probably tomorrow morning) . He suggested I get a restraining order . I did .

I drove the two hours home , leaving my oldest daughter at my cousins for the next couple of days and dropping off my other 2 older kids at friends houses ( I took the baby with me) and I went right to the police station . They were expecting me . I had to speak with the judge on a taped line . I explained to him what ah did on Sat nght , although he never put his hands on me , he did kick things around and throw things in my direction . I was granted the temporary restraining order and have to go to court next Thursday to make it permanent .

Unexpectedly , I feel really good . I'm glad with how things went tonight . Very little drama , just told the facts and I was treated with respect . No pity .

If any of you are stuck where I was .. unsure if this is the right thing to do , chances are , it is . I'm not really concerned right now for what he will do when he gets served with the papers . I dont care if he freaks out , gets drunker or accepts them quitely . Makes no difference to me & my recovery . Im doing whats best for me and my kids from now on . All will be okay in the end , althougth there may be some bumps in the road .

I feel good , I feel really really good .

[best]

You are doing what you feel needs be done for you and the children...Good job.

[Pick-a-name]

I'm glad you can get back into your home again now and the authorities are alerted to your AH's condition. Glad he is somewhere being taken care of and not a threat to your peace at the house. I pray this might even be something that "registers" in him.....you never know.

Glad you and the kids are well.

[liveweyerd]

Well done! And so many benefits to come from the peace and lack of worry about what we are coming home to or what will happen before the day is over.
Sleep peacefully tonight and sweet dreams.
Congratulations!
And also know you have helped others more than you will ever know with this post.

[dollydo]

Good job! You should rest peacefully tonight.

[AWEDA]

I did the same thing 4 months ago. I had special locks put on the house because I was scared he would returnin a drunken rage. As like your situation my AH never hit us but we were very frightened of his behavior when he was drinking,it just got worse and worse very quickly. Hang in there. He is now living in a half way house for 6 months we speak by phone sometimes. H e is doing well but I WILL NOT terminate the pfa order. I pray your husband gets some help and you find peace in your life. For the first time in my life I am figuring out who I am and it feels pretty good. Good luck and take care of you and your children.

[Ann]

Well done, taking care of yourself and your children.

It may not be easy, I am certain it is not, but in the end you saved yourself a whole bunch of drama and grief...and more importantly, you save your children from it too.

Keep doing the next right thing and know that you are worthy of respect, peace in your life and a safe home for you and your children.

Hugs

[chero]

Wow, LG! You did what you needed to do to protect you and your children. You SHOULD feel good about that!

Hugs and Prayers!!!
((((((LG))))))

[embraced2000]

wonderful, lg, just wonderful!!!! i know this was difficult to do. when i took these same actions, i had to get prepared to back it all up with phone calls to the police when he kicked up the dust.

when i set my boundry, as you have, i also had to have the courage to back it up.

best of everything to you, lg.......i am so impressed that you have been able to make these healthy decisions so early on in your recovery.

much love to you
jeri

[Missy]

I did the same thing just a few months ago.... Remember these "A"'s are very clever.

My AH talked his way out of jail for the night... his 86 year old parents bailed him out.

Courtdate came up and the slapped him with only Anger management classes.

The judicial system where I live "dont get it"
I told them that anger comes with his drinking,,, and this alcholic needs to be forced into treatment, random checking of alchohol, bla, bla, bla and none of that happened.
So after all that stress and excitment... he is now back home like nothing went on.

missy xo

[lostnfound1961]

Mine was trying to get a rifle out of the bedroom closet to kill himself and I called the cops. They took him to detox and let him cool his heels for a few hours. He told me he wanted to die and he told the cops he only said that to hurt me. Aint that nice.

I'm glad for you. it's always nice to hear when someone makes it through that door to freedom, to life.
D

[WantsOut]

You did the right thing for everyone involved, including him, but especially you and the kids.

[Rella927]

Originally Posted by Missy

I did the same thing just a few months ago.... Remember these "A"'s are very clever.

My AH talked his way out of jail for the night... his 86 year old parents bailed him out.

Courtdate came up and the slapped him with only Anger management classes.

The judicial system where I live "dont get it"
I told them that anger comes with his drinking,,, and this alcholic needs to be forced into treatment, random checking of alchohol, bla, bla, bla and none of that happened.
So after all that stress and excitment... he is now back home like nothing went on.

missy xo

Similar situation! My restraining order quite awhile ago and "A's are very cleaver" at getting what they want or rather need! Mine got anger management as well, no jail time, and alchy counseling. (The first time) the other 3 times yes 3 times lumped together and jail time 7 days that does not have to be served for until October! Community service and ummmm AA and physc counseling now-amazing!


LG Great job! Take care of you and those kids! That is what is important! I feel happy for you! I remember that feeling when the RO kicked in...but hold on tight because as Missy said the Judicial system may surprise you. Keep up that positive attitude and caring for you and the kids! You will be fine!

((((Hugs))))

[LGLG07]

thanks for you support everyone ! it means the world to me !
I am working today and looking into transferring closer to home and going full time if the hours can be worked out . It will be a new life for me and the kids but Im greatful I have a job at all , let alone one I can upgrade to FT at and transfer .

Thanks for all the advice about the judicial system . I will be prepared for it , I have never been this involved before and I have to go to court on Thursday morning . I will certainly let you all know how it goes !

Im still feeling good and I hope to continue feeling this way with lots of positive thinking and looking on the 'bright side' ! And of course by coming here and getting all the love and support you so freely send my way !!

Thank you again !!