Got an e-mail........ - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

CatsTail · 12-04-2006, 08:31 PM

from the ex wondering why we haven't talked in 3 months.

I said are you clean,sober that's partly why we haven't. How soon we conveniently forget.

Ngaire

FormerDoormat · 12-04-2006, 08:38 PM

Isn't it amazing that they even HAVE to ask that question?

StandingStrong · 12-04-2006, 09:44 PM

Oh my, but your post brought back some memories. I remember so many times that AH would ask me "Why are we seperated again?" I never really was sure if I wanted to just laugh out loud when he'd ask that or just roll my eyes for eternity!!!

Does he still know why?
Not really.
He's got his own story - which isn't the truth.
Gotta blame something other than the truth or he'd have to look at himself.

I'm done explaining it - if he hasn't got it by now - he's not going too.

Just amazing, isn't it?

Cynay · 12-04-2006, 09:52 PM

OMG SS.... you just gave me a light bulb moment.

If he hasn't got it by now - he's not going too.

I really need to remember to stop explaining/talking things to death and trying to "make" people understand.... I need to say it once, sit back and watch and let it go...

Thanks for that reminder.

embraced2000 · 12-04-2006, 10:02 PM

mine asked me that same question over and over again......i finally told him it was because of the way he tried to write his name on the wall when he was peeing....with his pee. next time i told him cause he never put a trash can liner back in the trash can. next time i told him cause he took up too much space in our bed. and so on.

they know WHY......they just want to argue bout it and shift everything all around.

luv to all
jeri

mazey · 12-05-2006, 08:15 AM

They just don't want to believe the alcohol could be a problem?

deax · 12-05-2006, 10:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by embraced2000

mine asked me that same question over and over again......i finally told him it was because of the way he tried to write his name on the wall when he was peeing....with his pee. next time i told him cause he never put a trash can liner back in the trash can. next time i told him cause he took up too much space in our bed. and so on.

they know WHY......they just want to argue bout it and shift everything all around.

luv to all
jeri

LOL!! I love this approach! I think I'll try it. I'll tell him I broke up with him because he fell asleep when we went to see Pride & Prejudice that time.

Acushla · 12-05-2006, 10:28 AM

This is so amazing.

We're not separated (yet, but I think it's coming if I can figure out how to do it financially/logistically)...but I'm already experiencing this short term memory thing from him. I know he has decided that I am simply irrational and hysterical and overly emotional and he doesn't know why. He never connects my emotions to his drinking. For me, the connection is so clear any idiot could see it!

And I've decided drinking your life, heart, body, mind, family and marriage away is the absolute most irrational thing a person can do. So much for rationality!

The insanity with which we are dealing is...well, I can only shake my head. I guess it has to do with that frontal lobe damage I've been reading about, eh?

CatsTail · 12-05-2006, 01:03 PM

i FIND IT INTERESTING HOW i SAID "ARE YOU CLEAN,SOBER GETTING BETTER" THEN HE DOESN'T RESOND.

CatsTail · 12-05-2006, 05:07 PM

I get a very indignant e-mail telling me how he thought he could have an honest conversation with me but because of my condescending attitude he's changed his mind.

He has a nerve to talk about honesty seeing as he probably was drinking for most of the last year.

Ngaire

mallowcup · 12-05-2006, 06:50 PM

How heartbreaking that he doesn't realize his life with you is over.

mazey · 12-05-2006, 07:59 PM

Sad ngaire....you've done what you can. Typical that they want to talk on their terms/time.

CatsTail · 12-06-2006, 06:02 AM

Believe me any conversation won't be on his terms.

Ngaire

12-04-2006, 08:31 PM	#1 (permalink)
CatsTail Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: nowheresville Posts: 872	Got an e-mail........ from the ex wondering why we haven't talked in 3 months. I said are you clean,sober that's partly why we haven't. How soon we conveniently forget. Ngaire

12-04-2006, 08:38 PM	#2 (permalink)
FormerDoormat Wipe your paws elsewhere! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Puppy Heaven Posts: 3,671	Isn't it amazing that they even HAVE to ask that question? __________________ "Get busy living or get busy dying." --Shawshank Redemption "Do I want to live while I'm alive and embrace what sustains me or do I want to die while I'm alive and embrace what destroys me?--Geneen Roth "The bare minimum my partner needs to give me is 100%."--Wpgwoman

12-04-2006, 09:52 PM	#4 (permalink)
Cynay Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,836	OMG SS.... you just gave me a light bulb moment. If he hasn't got it by now - he's not going too. I really need to remember to stop explaining/talking things to death and trying to "make" people understand.... I need to say it once, sit back and watch and let it go... Thanks for that reminder. __________________ Cynay "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself." Harvey Fierstein

12-05-2006, 08:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
mazey Always hopeful... Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 425	They just don't want to believe the alcohol could be a problem? __________________ Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often

12-05-2006, 07:59 PM	#12 (permalink)
mazey Always hopeful... Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 425	Sad ngaire....you've done what you can. Typical that they want to talk on their terms/time. __________________ Live Well, Love Much, Laugh Often

12-04-2006, 09:44 PM	#3 (permalink)
StandingStrong Member Join Date: May 2004 Location: In Search of Finding ME! Posts: 1,246	Oh my, but your post brought back some memories. I remember so many times that AH would ask me "Why are we seperated again?" I never really was sure if I wanted to just laugh out loud when he'd ask that or just roll my eyes for eternity!!! Does he still know why? Not really. He's got his own story - which isn't the truth. Gotta blame something other than the truth or he'd have to look at himself. I'm done explaining it - if he hasn't got it by now - he's not going too. Just amazing, isn't it?

12-04-2006, 10:02 PM	#5 (permalink)
embraced2000 Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: southern indiana Posts: 1,934	mine asked me that same question over and over again......i finally told him it was because of the way he tried to write his name on the wall when he was peeing....with his pee. next time i told him cause he never put a trash can liner back in the trash can. next time i told him cause he took up too much space in our bed. and so on. they know WHY......they just want to argue bout it and shift everything all around. luv to all jeri

12-05-2006, 10:28 AM	#8 (permalink)
Acushla Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: UK Posts: 38	This is so amazing. We're not separated (yet, but I think it's coming if I can figure out how to do it financially/logistically)...but I'm already experiencing this short term memory thing from him. I know he has decided that I am simply irrational and hysterical and overly emotional and he doesn't know why. He never connects my emotions to his drinking. For me, the connection is so clear any idiot could see it! And I've decided drinking your life, heart, body, mind, family and marriage away is the absolute most irrational thing a person can do. So much for rationality! The insanity with which we are dealing is...well, I can only shake my head. I guess it has to do with that frontal lobe damage I've been reading about, eh?

12-05-2006, 01:03 PM	#9 (permalink)
CatsTail Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: nowheresville Posts: 872	i FIND IT INTERESTING HOW i SAID "ARE YOU CLEAN,SOBER GETTING BETTER" THEN HE DOESN'T RESOND.

12-05-2006, 05:07 PM	#10 (permalink)
CatsTail Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: nowheresville Posts: 872	I get a very indignant e-mail telling me how he thought he could have an honest conversation with me but because of my condescending attitude he's changed his mind. He has a nerve to talk about honesty seeing as he probably was drinking for most of the last year. Ngaire

12-05-2006, 06:50 PM	#11 (permalink)
mallowcup Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Lake Luzerne Posts: 1,786	How heartbreaking that he doesn't realize his life with you is over.

12-06-2006, 06:02 AM	#13 (permalink)
CatsTail Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: nowheresville Posts: 872	Believe me any conversation won't be on his terms. Ngaire

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