http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/ 12 step based recovery forum-(NA)- for support and suggestions from other addicts to help the addict that still suffers. If you are recovering or still in active addiction you are welcome here. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:18:07 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188950-new-years-eve-convention-speaking-them.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 15:27:27 GMT The Mississippi Gulf Coast is having a convention: 12/31/09 - 01/03/10 called surrender by the seashore. Preregistration ends Dec. 1st. PO BOX 3294, Gulfport, MS 39505 I cant think of funnier... The Mississippi Gulf Coast is having a convention: 12/31/09 - 01/03/10 called surrender by the seashore. Preregistration ends Dec. 1st. PO BOX 3294, Gulfport, MS 39505

I cant think of funnier way to bring in the New Year - even if it is a lot of foola la or whatever it's called.

See you there........ ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support LowBottom http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188950-new-years-eve-convention-speaking-them.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188933-jft-november-20-a.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 11:37:01 GMT November 20 Finding fulfillment “We weren’t oriented toward fulfillment; we focused on the emptiness and worthlessness of it all.” Basic Text, p. 86 ––––=–––– November 20


Finding fulfillment

“We weren’t oriented toward fulfillment; we focused on the emptiness and worthlessness of it all.”

Basic Text, p. 86

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There were probably hundreds of times in our active addiction when we wished we could become someone else. We may have wished we could trade places with someone who owned a nice car or had a larger home, a better job, a more attractive mate—anything but what we had. So severe was our despair that we could hardly imagine anyone being in worse shape than ourselves.

In recovery, we may find we are experiencing a different sort of envy. We may continue to compare our insides with others’ outsides and feel as though we still don’t have enough of anything. We may think everyone, from the newest member to the oldest oldtimer, sounds better at meetings than we do. We may think that everyone else must be working a better program because they have a better car, a larger home, more money, and so on.

The recovery process experienced through our Twelve Steps will take us from an attitude of envy and low self-esteem to a place of spiritual fulfillment and deep appreciation for what we do have. We find that we would never willingly trade places with another, for what we have discovered within ourselves is priceless.

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Just for today: There is much to be grateful for in my life. I will cherish the spiritual fulfillment I have found in recovery. ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support REZ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188933-jft-november-20-a.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188928-daily-application-1st-3-steps.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 07:36:26 GMT Hello everyone, I hear a lot of folks here saying that we should apply the steps in our lives daily. I hope you can share from your own personal experience how you apply the first 3 steps daily. For... Hello everyone, I hear a lot of folks here saying that we should apply the steps in our lives daily. I hope you can share from your own personal experience how you apply the first 3 steps daily. For me, I try not to hang out with using friends and not pick my first drug. Thanks ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support jane_668 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188928-daily-application-1st-3-steps.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188869-jft-november-19-a.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 11:36:42 GMT November 19 The language of empathy “...the addict would find from the start as much identification as each needed to convince himself that he could stay clean, by the example of others who... November 19


The language of empathy

“...the addict would find from the start as much identification as each needed to convince himself that he could stay clean, by the example of others who had recovered for many years.”

Basic Text, p. 85

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Many of us attended our first meeting and, not being entirely sure that NA was for us, found much to criticize. Either we felt as though no one had suffered like we had or that we hadn’t suffered enough. But as we listened we started to hear something new, a wordless language with its roots in recognition, belief, and faith: the language of empathy. Desiring to belong, we kept listening.

We find all the identification we need as we learn to understand and speak the language of empathy. To understand this special language, we listen with our hearts. The language of empathy uses few words; it feels more than it speaks. It doesn’t preach or lecture—it listens. It can reach out and touch the spirit of another addict without a single spoken word.

Fluency in the language of empathy comes to us through practice. The more we use it with other addicts and our Higher Power, the more we understand this language. It keeps us coming back.

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Just for today: I will listen with my heart. With each passing day, I will become more fluent in the language of empathy. ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support REZ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188869-jft-november-19-a.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188823-masks-have-go.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:39:11 GMT Hey any and/or everyone!!

I need some feedback on the topic "The Masks Have to Go". Is a "mask" a part of our personality? Is a mask a defense mechanism?

What are some of your views or experiences with this topic?





:ring ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support noahamin http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188823-masks-have-go.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188799-jft-november-18-a.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 11:25:24 GMT November 18 Self-discovery “The Tenth Step can help us correct our living problems and prevent their recurrence.” Basic Text, p. 41 ––––=–––– November 18


Self-discovery

“The Tenth Step can help us correct our living problems and prevent their recurrence.”

Basic Text, p. 41

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Our identities, how we think and feel, have been shaped by our experiences. Some of our experiences have made us better people; others have caused us shame or embarrassment; all of them have influenced who we are today. We can take advantage of the knowledge gained in examining our mistakes, using this wisdom to guide the decisions we’ll make today.

Acceptance of ourselves means accepting all aspects of ourselves—our assets, our defects, our successes, and our failures. Shame and guilt left unaddressed can paralyze us, preventing us from moving forward in our lives. Some of the most meaningful amends we can make for the mistakes of our past are made simply by acting differently today. We strive for improvement and measure our success by comparing who we used to be with who we are now.

Being human, we will continue making mistakes; however, we need not make the same ones over and over again. By looking over our past and realizing that we have changed and grown, we’ll find hope for the future. The best is yet to come.

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Just for today: I will do the best I can with what I have today. Each day I’ll learn something new that will help me tomorrow. ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support REZ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188799-jft-november-18-a.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188762-jft-november-17-a.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:17:23 GMT November 17 Walking through the pain “We never have to use again, no matter how we feel. All feelings will eventually pass.” Basic Text, p. 79 ––––=–––– November 17


Walking through the pain

“We never have to use again, no matter how we feel. All feelings will eventually pass.”

Basic Text, p. 79

––––=––––

It hurts like never before. You get out of bed after a sleepless night, talk to God, and still don’t feel any better. “It will pass,” a little voice tells you. “When?” you wonder, as you pace and mutter and get on with your day.

You sob in your car and turn the radio all the way up so you can’t hear your own thoughts. But you go straight to work, and don’t even think about using drugs.

Your insides feel as though they’ve been torched. Just when the pain becomes unbearable, you go numb and silent. You go to a meeting and wish you were as happy as other members seem to be. But you don’t relapse.

You cry some more and call your sponsor. You drive to a friend’s house and don’t even notice the beautiful scenery because your inner landscape is so bleak. You may not feel any better after visiting your friend—but at least you didn’t visit the connection instead.

You listen to a Fifth Step. You share at a meeting. You look at the calendar and realize you’ve gotten through another day clean.

Then one day you wake up, look outside, and realize it’s a beautiful day. The sun is shining. The sky is blue. You take a deep breath, smile again, and know that it really does pass.

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Just for today: No matter how I feel today, I’ll go on with my recovery. ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support REZ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188762-jft-november-17-a.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188735-ba-tards-not-paying-conventions.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:47:18 GMT I'll tell you why "I" sometimes attend and don't "pay" for registration:

1) I'm disabled, haven’t worked in years, and live on $350/mo for my child and me.
2) It's overpriced for a bunch of fu-fu hoop-la that doesn't interest me, comedy nights, dances, dinners - none of which floats my boat.

Moreover, nearly ALL of the speaker meetings are long and drag on with silly announcements, formalities, countdowns and other notoriety seeking procedures, all of which smacks in the face of a simple, humble, and anonymous program. They start late and go over on time, usually interfering with the next scheduled workshop where the speaker is humiliated by the lack of attendance.

The "workshops" are mostly all put on just as poorly. You would go to one expecting to learn/hear something new on a topic they present and what you get is someone with a few years, often short on recovery, whose only reason for being there is that they are in bed with the convention committee in some way - personalities before principles. This isn’t “always” the story but has become more what I’ve come to expect.

I used to like the junk they'd sell at conventions but now it's become so politicized that it is only on sale from this hour to this hour on one (maybe two) day(s) and the tables get's so congested that it isn't worth the headache to do the lines.

(note) I got rheumatoid arthritis and DO NOT do lines under any circumstances, so if it's a line for t-shirts, books, speaker meetings, groceries, fast food or even Black Friday - no matter how much I'd want it, my disease tells me I shalt not have it. Basically I can't stand that long and most "lines" are insensitive to peoples with disabilities.

Personally, I go to conventions to see faces in the hallways and either participate/facilitate the marathon meetings. That would be nearly the ONLY reason for my attending my convention here in So Cal coming up on Thanxgiving.

I think NA has lost track of what the original purpose of conventions was. It has become a gathering of the select few good-ol-boys who can "afford" to throw money around to satiate their need for fu-fu hoop-la and to "look good" amongst their fellows. Well, where I come from most of the fellowship is made up of newcomers (less than 5-10 years) and few of them have resources to the extent that they can dispose of their resources so mindlessly.

Does anyone realize how many 99cent burgers or tacos I could purchase for hungry newcomers after meetings for the price of a “room” for the weekend at a convention? Let me see – paying for a room, convention registration, gas, food, a few mugs/books/t-shirts or a years worth of feeding newcomers after meetings. … Gee… what do you think the Master would do?

Selfish self-centeredness anybody?

Then comes the argument – “Part of your registration goes to pay for indigent registrations - so it DOES go to help the newcomer.” (puke) Ya, the newcomer that has the resources to make it there in the first place. What about the ones who struggle to pay their $100/week rent at a recovery house, many of which don’t have a car, friends with cars, or need to work some crappy job that doesn’t allow them extended weekends or vacation time?

Yes, I feel most conventions have lost their way; they have gone the path of lavish selfish self-centeredness for the purpose of self-gratification geared more toward those who can afford to satiate themselves with such folly. They pay lip-service to disadvantaged and marginalized populations but the proof is in the pudding.

I enjoy myself at home during those weekends as much if not more than if I were there, as there are rooms full of addicts who fit my profile of “suffering” much more than those at the conventions – the addicts still doing “without” and dying to get a message of hope without having to "pay" for it - just for today.

andyaddict
Los Angeles ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support andyaddict http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188735-ba-tards-not-paying-conventions.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188703-divine-intervention.html Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:48:21 GMT Since getting clean, I've seen some of the folks in my network experience incredible "miracles" in their lives in recovery. My sponsor, in particular, found a teen daughter on myspace that she'd lost to her addiction over 10 years ago. They are now reunited and close. I often wondered if I'd ever have something like that happen. I always hoped so. And now it seems that it has.

For a year, I've been thinking about going back to college. I thought about it. I talked to my sponsor about it. I made lists of what I needed to do to make it happen. Then at my job, the tuition assistance program was cancelled, and it didn't look like I'd be able to find the money. After all, I am just starting to dig out from all the financial wreckage.

About a week ago, I was praying about it, and I felt I was guided to set the issue aside.

The other day, my mom called, completely out of the blue, to tell me that my great-great grandfather had been the man who'd donated the land that our local college was built on. I hadn't been aware of that, but apparently, she was. She had been working on a family tree project, and was looking at some family documents, and found the land grant that donated the college land.

This land grant stipulated that the college would only get the land on the condition that they allow his descendents to attend the college free of charge. All tuition and fees paid. In other words, everything but my books would be covered. I could go to college for free now! Not only that, but my daughter and son will now get free tuition and can take up any career field that this school offers!

I guess I have my miracle! I've been blessed beyond my wildest dreams!

Love,
KJ ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support kj3880 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188703-divine-intervention.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188648-jft-november-16-a.html Mon, 16 Nov 2009 08:07:56 GMT November 16 Alone no more “We gradually and carefully pull ourselves out of the isolation and loneliness of addiction and into the mainstream of life.” Basic Text, p. 35 ––––=–––– November 16


Alone no more

“We gradually and carefully pull ourselves out of the isolation and loneliness of addiction and into the mainstream of life.”

Basic Text, p. 35

––––=––––

Many of us spent much of our using time alone, avoiding other people—especially people who were not using—at all costs. After years of isolation, trying to find a place for ourselves in a bustling, sometimes boisterous fellowship is not always easy. We may still feel isolated, focusing on our differences rather than our similarities. The overwhelming feelings that often arise in early recovery—feelings of fear, anger, and mistrust—can also keep us isolated. We may feel like aliens but we must remember, the alienation is ours, not NA’s.

In Narcotics Anonymous, we are offered a very special opportunity for friendship. We are brought together with people who understand us like no one else can. We are encouraged to share with these people our feelings, our problems, our triumphs, and our failures. Slowly, the recognition and identification we find in NA bridge the lonely gap of alienation in our hearts. As we’ve heard it said—the program works, if we let it.

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Just for today: The friendship of other members of the fellowship is a life-sustaining gift. I will reach out for the friendship that’s offered in NA, and accept it. ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support REZ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188648-jft-november-16-a.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188584-jft-november-15-a.html Sun, 15 Nov 2009 08:12:50 GMT November 15 Letting go “Take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery. Show me how to live.” Basic Text, p. 25 ––––=–––– November 15


Letting go

“Take my will and my life. Guide me in my recovery. Show me how to live.”

Basic Text, p. 25

––––=––––

How do we begin the process of letting our Higher Power guide our lives? When we seek advice about situations that trouble us, we often find that our Higher Power works through others. When we accept that we don’t have all the answers, we open ourselves to new and different options. A willingness to let go of our preconceived ideas and opinions opens the channel for spiritual guidance to light our way.

At times, we must be driven to the point of distraction before we are ready to turn difficult situations over to our Higher Power. Anxiously plotting, struggling, planning, worrying—none of these suffice. We can be sure that if we turn our problems over to our Higher Power, through listening to others share their experience or in the quiet of meditation, the answers will come.

There is no point in living a frantic existence. Charging through life like the house is on fire exhausts us and gets us nowhere. In the long run, no amount of manipulation on our part will change a situation. When we let go and allow ourselves access to a Higher Power, we will discover the best way to proceed. Rest assured, answers derived from a sound spiritual basis will be far superior to any answers we could concoct on our own.

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Just for today: I will let go and let my Higher Power guide my life. ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support REZ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188584-jft-november-15-a.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188553-jft-november-14-correct-date.html Sat, 14 Nov 2009 19:24:05 GMT November 14 Not just surviving “When we were using, our lives became an exercise in survival. Now we are doing much more living than surviving.” Basic Text, p. 50 ––––=–––– November 14


Not just surviving

“When we were using, our lives became an exercise in survival. Now we are doing much more living than surviving.”

Basic Text, p. 50

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“I’d be better off dead!” A familiar refrain to a practicing addict, and with good reason. All we had to look forward to was more of the same miserable existence. Our hold on life was weak at best. Our emotional decay, our spiritual demise, and the crushing awareness that nothing would ever change were constants. We had little hope and no concept of the life we were missing out on.

The resurrection of our emotions, our spirits, and our physical health takes time. The more experience we gain in living, rather than merely existing, the more we understand how precious and delightful life can be. Traveling, playing with a small child, making love, expanding our intellectual horizons, and forming relationships are among the endless activities that say, “I’m alive.” We discover so much to cherish and feel grateful to have a second chance.

If we had died in active addiction, we would have been bitterly deprived of so many of life’s joys. Each day we thank a Power greater than ourselves for another day clean and another day of life.

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Just for today: I am grateful to be alive. I will do something today to celebrate. ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support REZ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188553-jft-november-14-correct-date.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188552-huge-change-ahead.html Sat, 14 Nov 2009 18:31:22 GMT I have some news to share w/ you all. After prayer and 3 interviews I have accepted a full time job. Shocker being as I hate winter driving. I seem to get very depressed over the ling winter... I have some news to share w/ you all. After prayer and 3 interviews I have accepted a full time job. Shocker being as I hate winter driving. I seem to get very depressed over the ling winter sitting in my home. (SAD) My daycare business has dropped off BIG TIME, and am down to 2 very part time kids. (3 hrs a week) Not for lack of advertising, just not a lot of people out here.....Our barn renter pulled out 10/31 due to milk prices, so we lost that income, so when I saw a job posting online I knew I was qualified I stepped through the scary process of re-entering the workforce. My husband really wanted me to try it because they have laid off 600 people from his workplace and he fears he could be next, so we would have some income in the event he loses his job.

It was kind of a good thing for me get out there and walk thru the process. I will be a claims analyst which I did in San Diego for 5 yrs. This will not be pharmacy claims but medical claims. Things are much slower paced out here in the midwest, they are sending me to school for training for 8 weeks! Amazing! In SD I am not kidding, I trained ONE DAY and then was thrown out there to the wolves. lol

Anyhoo... this is a big step for me, and for my family and I am grateful for the opportunity to make a difference. I know I have so much down time living out here in the farm and I am such a people person.

I start on November 30th.

Blessings, Sheila ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support Lily http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188552-huge-change-ahead.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188517-weird.html Sat, 14 Nov 2009 04:01:31 GMT Most of you know that I have been attending a home group, secretarying, and have ended up doing the setup on my own (50 chairs with books on them, some tables, literature, bathroom cleaning, coffee... Most of you know that I have been attending a home group, secretarying, and have ended up doing the setup on my own (50 chairs with books on them, some tables, literature, bathroom cleaning, coffee making, and door-opening).

I have made my peace with it and decided just to do it and not b!tch about it for my six-month period as secretary as a form of loving and unselfish service. I have prayed so that I'm not resentful about it.

Well, I got there this week, and there was a smell of incense in the air. When I opened the door, there was a woman lying in the middle of the floor surrounded by candles and burning incense and another woman was massaging her and throwing herb bundles around. Interesting.

There was only a half hour left before the meeting and plenty to do, so I said "I have to set up for a meeting. We rent the space here every week from 7 to 9." She said "I'm in the middle of a cleansing ritual. Do not make any noise or turn on the lights."

I didn't want to start out my meeting time with an unpleasant confrontation, so I thought I'd work around her as best as I could, and let the pastor know about this issue later, so he could deal with the schedule conflict. As it turned out, I found out later she had decided to do this on her own to make an extra profit for the hour after her scheduled yoga teaching time without asking the pastor for permission.

I began setting up the chairs as quietly as I could in the darkened room. A little while later, the healer woman was leaving, and the treasurer (who only comes to meetings once a month) came in, flipped the lights on, and yelled at me "You know, if you want people to come in, you turn on the lights!" I ignored her, and kept going. She said "What is wrong with you?" I replied "I don't have time to talk to you now. I am running very late with the set-up. People are coming in and the coffee isn't in the urn yet. The books are still downstairs." Rather than lend a hand, she continued to complain about the way I'd left the lights off during set-up, she was mad that I hadn't welcomed her, and she began talking to justify her lack of meeting attendance (I never asked her, it's not my business.)

Later we had the group conscience, and I told them that I will not be there early next week (I have to work nights next week and come on my dinner break) but will only get there five minutes before the meeting, and that I need some other members to help with the set up that week.

The treasurer then spoke up "Well, KJ, obviously, you think you are superwoman, doing all this stuff by yourself all the time. I feel like you are doing your service with a resentful spirit, so it isn't doing any good. You need to work on your codependency issues in step work. Have you talked to your sponsor about that?" This woman has about 18 years clean and she is a person who offers a lot of unsolicited advice.

I was so angry I was speechless. I have asked for help with set up before. It isn't codependency, it's just that it needs to get done, and nobody else comes to do it, usually. I couldn't think of how to answer her, so I just left.
I guess I will try to call my sponsor about this. She has been too busy to chat this week. I am confused about this.

Love,
KJ ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support kj3880 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188517-weird.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188486-your-sponsor.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 17:53:30 GMT I would love to hear the high points of your sponsor. My sponsor is 60 years old with 26 1/2 years clean in NA. We met 25 years ago when I was in treatment. I gave him rides to meetings cuz he was... I would love to hear the high points of your sponsor.

My sponsor is 60 years old with 26 1/2 years clean in NA. We met 25 years ago when I was in treatment. I gave him rides to meetings cuz he was living in a shelter.

Season ticket holder for 20 years of LSU football, baseball and basketball. Yes he is a fan.

High points...he has 2 purple hearts, one bronze star (two tours in Veitnam). and carried the 1996 olympic torch in the opening cermoney in Atlanta.

No kids....active in H/I funniest guy I know and I love him dearly ]]> Narcotics Addiction-12 Step Support huntsober http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/narcotics-addiction-12-step-support/188486-your-sponsor.html