http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/ Support, Love and Fun is what Women in Recovery is all about. Come join us and introduce yourself.WOMEN ONLY PLEASE. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 06:01:35 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188971-i-really-am-angry.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:25:32 GMT I posted this in the women's forum cuz I know there are lots of us here who are mothers. When I was in active addiction, I sent my eldest kid to live with his dad (he honestly, would have been better with his crackhead mother, cuz his dad's gf and his dad were both strung out on shyt too- and my son actually broke his dad's jaw when they got in a fight). And I let my second ex dictate how my time with our son went, because I thought I knew it was better for my kids and honestly, Mommy was choosing crack over her babies anyway.
So long story short. Almost 10 months clean. Court order says we SHARE parenting. I don't really want to drag my 13 year old son through court, but at the same time I do. I am not getting the time I want. Every weekend, it's the same f u c king shyt. "we've got plans". You name it. Anything this f u cker can make up, he does. I try on Mondays, to ask about the coming weekend. Too early to tell. Tuesdays. Too early to tell. Wednesdays. Let me get back with you. Thursdays and Fridays is "we've already made plans."
I am just f u c king tired of this bullshyt and I am going to cuss and rant and rave because there is nothing I can do about it except that and cry.
I am clean now. My SON WANTS TO BE WITH ME. He's said so. He said he wanted to spend THIS F U C KING WEEKEND WITH ME because I am going to Florida with my boyfriend next week and weekend. I am sick of this. I am just f u c king sick of this. Tired of the bullshyt lies. This weekend it's "He's going to Columbus with me to fix Aunt So and So's f u c king computer". Like a man with FOUR F U C KING COMPUTER DEGREES NEEDS HIS SON TO FIX THE COMPUTER. Do I look like I was born yesterday.. F U C K this shyt..
OMG I am so mad right now I want to scream. All I can do is sit here and cry. It's completely ruined my weekend. And I just wish I could do something about it.
This same dad was iffy before I started smoking crack. I had to fight to get school schedules, grades.. Always had to be right on top of him like stink on shyt. Class functions. He'd try to not tell me about parent/teacher conferences.
Ladies, if you're redneck/hillbilly/"low class" like me, never EVER EVER EVER marry a rich, spoiled, snobby, co ck sucker, single child who will NEVER be a man. Who gloats and does the "I told you so dance" when you do mess up like he's perfect and never done anything wrong. The freak. THE FREAK!!!!!!!!!
Neither one of my baby daddies were worth two cents. What was I thinking??
Sorry.. I am just so upset. I have no idea what to do, and I was already online when I talked to my youngest's dad.. So I came here. Sorry if I offended anyone or anything.. ]]> Women In Recovery CrackQuack http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188971-i-really-am-angry.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188905-speaking-stereotypes.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 00:11:35 GMT It's no good, to me, to post something about
'yeah, well: we'll stop having stereotypes wen we stop acting stereotypically'....
and then just go away.

There's no solution there.

I've spent some time in the fashion industry
and the entertainment field

and one way we can stop behaving stereotypically

and it's a brave move, lemme tell ya -

but an effective way....

is to purchase & wear clothing that is appealing to us personally
and stop following trends in any way.

That doesn't mean we have to stop looking good -
but it *does* mean
we have to stop being controlled
by outside influences
and giving those influences

the power to control our own self-determination of worth.

based on nothing more substantial
than our ability to 'pull off' a fashion.

Now admit it -
it's a STRONG thing to start going against.
But it CAN be done.

It's rough,
but year to year
there's always something to be had
that isn't a freakish chasing around of a 'look'

because we've created out 'look'
from within... first.

I was a clothes rack of a person when I worked in fashion.
it wasn't unusual for me to change clothes three - four times a day.

If we stop
rewarding behaviors
that keep us down
and commit to self empowerment...

it's one way to clear that path for the ones following us
I was talking about. ]]> Women In Recovery barb dwyer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188905-speaking-stereotypes.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188802-collage.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:44:26 GMT Good Morning Ladies I attend a womens support group at our local Womens Abused Centre and last night we did collages. At first I thought what a stupid thing for a bunch of grown women to do!! lol... Good Morning Ladies

I attend a womens support group at our local Womens Abused Centre and last night we did collages. At first I thought what a stupid thing for a bunch of grown women to do!! lol Wow, was I wrong.

Its hard to even describe how it felt but there is something very meaningful in finding just the right pictures and phrases to express what you are feeling. Plus the whole process is somehow soothingly reminiscent of good times in childhood.

Anyways just thought I would share this, and if you ever get a chance to do a collage go for it, you will be glad you did, I know I am! ]]> Women In Recovery Gemmie http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188802-collage.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188508-gathering-women.html Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:55:20 GMT hi -

I've recently changed my home group
to our local Women's group.

it's not a new thing,
I actually did it a couple of months ago.

The group has grown from 6-7 women
to the last meeting - 30.

There's a dire need for women
who are making their own way
in recovery
and in life.

It's nobody's choice but mine,
but I don't hang around with men after meetings
I don't go have coffee with them,
don't return their phone calls.

I certainly don't hate men
oh no no no
but I am currently require-ant
of the company of women.

Maybe it's a 'change of life' thing...
because I've always been 'one of the guys'
goin out camping, shooting, hunting etc....
I'm the only woman I know who can work on my own car....

but thing is
it's always been women
who have stepped forward
and helped me
at the lowest times of my life.

When my daily prayer & meditations
took me into the contemplation of that fact,
I decided to explore
the energy exchange among women.

I'm frankly amazed
at how much wisdom
we DON"T have,
as a gender.

What are we, as seniors of the gender
(I just can't make myself say 'elder' yet)
what are we offering
these younger women
who are honestly seeking a life beyond addiction
and social pressure?

Is that feminist?
I don't see how it could be
it's not about superiority
it's about fulfillment of a gender potentiality.
A gender consciousness.

I dunno.
I could be full of it.

:ring ]]> Women In Recovery barb dwyer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188508-gathering-women.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188495-sexual-obsession.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:54:57 GMT Ok, it was my downfall. I haven't been with nobody in years... yeah, I'm a baby. I'm 29 and I have not been touched... and we're not just talking sexual touching... in years. Didn't start because of the drinking, might could be a side effect. I don't care at this point. I was sober for 18 days... yeah, I know, people pull off years, TB can't do 30 days... but anyways, most of the latter part of that, I craved sex about twice as hard as alcohol. Is this a part of sobriety? I'm partly curious, and partly trying to understand why--after I got rid of the desire for human companionship (not using euphemism, haven't had regular, let's go to a movie/let's go to Starbucks either for about 5 years) with liquor, sobriety has not only increased those feelings... it has kinda obsessed me.

Especially the sex part.

Is this just part of sobering up? I'd kinda like to know, 'cause the longer I am sober, honestly, all I can think of is sex. Yeah, I'm a woman... is it wrong? Is it normal? I don't mean to sound flip, I just am wondering. I'll be in class learning about something, and my mind is thinking about a man pressed up... luckily I don't have to admit this to anyone (although it's been about 3 weeks of this) but I am losing valuable learning... I just wanna be held, and I'm not good at just going out and doing the deed... Not that I'm super angelic, I just never was very promiscuous. But, Lord help me, I do miss having a man to fall asleep on after, um...

Take care y'all,
TB ]]> Women In Recovery thirtybubba http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188495-sexual-obsession.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188490-one-week-today-11-13-09-a.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 19:16:33 GMT it's been one week for me without drinking. The same time I quit, I joined a gym, at started hitting the eliptical machine at about the same time I'd be hitting the alcohol. It's been a big help, along with therapy sessions twice a week, alcohol was an escape for me. It seemed the perfect outlet to escape reality. Things in my life had gotten pretty bad, and it took me falling to a very low point, to finally decide I was "done" with all that bull. I really haven't had strong urges to drink at all, what I gave had in the past few days is anger. Anger at myself for allowing me to become the person I was... anger at everyone who can have "a" drink, and not have "just one" turn into 5 or 6. Anger at those around me who are supposed to love me, who encouraged the drinking, so they could have justification for their own problems.

The anger us subsiding, it really, REALLY helps going to the gym, and listening to my iPod, to songs that affirm my goals, or let me vent my anger in a positive form. It is nice to have a new "high" . I'm not overweight, so this is the first time I have ever worked out, for my " head ". I highly recommend it.

I know it's only been a week, but I can't see myself going back to that hole. I know I will be tempted, but I also know, that I... can't have "just one". I am trying to make several positive changes, and I'm ready for them. My only issue seems to be the anger that creeps up, sometimes unexpected. I just try to "maintain" composure... & wait for it to pass, and it does.

So, I don't know ( lol ) what I'm saying here, :-) I'm sober a week... yayyyyy me!! And congrats to all of you who have been down this road, and to us newbies who have the courage to change directions, and seek peace.

Sharon ]]> Women In Recovery Sharon408 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188490-one-week-today-11-13-09-a.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188479-sponsorship.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 15:36:27 GMT Good morning, all. I just found this site and it looks really nice. I've read a few posts and responses, and I think I may be able to get intelligent assistance here. I'm sober 9 months and 4 days. I live in a tiny town - we have 4 regulars (myself included) and 2 new in our AA group. They're all men. One woman comes when she's been sober a couple weeks, then goes back out. Another woman shows up periodically. I think she has about 5 years sober, but this being the small area that it is, we kind of know each other and have never been on good terms. I know I'm supposed to get a sponsor ASAP; there's no one here. What can I do?? Any help will be greatly appreciated. ]]> Women In Recovery ptksue http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188479-sponsorship.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188469-christmas.html Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:41:53 GMT anyone else not looking foreward to it? i dont mean to sound a misery-guts but its just too much now, its nothing to do with alcohol, im actually looking foreward to my first sober christmas in 20... anyone else not looking foreward to it? i dont mean to sound a misery-guts but its just too much now, its nothing to do with alcohol, im actually looking foreward to my first sober christmas in 20 years! its my teenage kids, they wany every fancy gadget and designer clothing you can imagine and we just cant afford it, once the bills are paid there is nothing left for christmas prezzies, i only keep my internet connection because i do online competitions and of course i cannot be without SR, i dont know what i'd have done without SR in early sobriety,
anyway, im really stressed with this constant barrage of christmas questions such as 'have you bought my designer jeans yet?' etc etc, i feel like SCREAMING!
phew, i feel a bit better now having got that off my chest, ]]> Women In Recovery juliwuli http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188469-christmas.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188379-self-worth-sobriety.html Thu, 12 Nov 2009 05:35:16 GMT this was going to be a blog entry but decided maybe it belonged in the girly section.... i seem to be back on track. place is less of a sty. except for being up too late, all is well. glad to have... this was going to be a blog entry but decided maybe it belonged in the girly section....

i seem to be back on track. place is less of a sty. except for being up too late, all is well. glad to have stumbled upon this spot on the web back in september.
i've been a pretty laid back person on the outside for the past several years. but that isnt me on the inside. i think that i am going to find in the next few months/years, that my outside self is going to match the control my insides really desires... maybe a better way to put it would be that my self worth is coming back... im not sure how long ago i lost it. it might have been after a long term relationship ended or was beginning to end. that was like... a decade ago? could have been longer ago. i think my self worth took its hit after i... didnt wait for marriage, if you know what im sayin. then years later, the long term relationship ending. yep. id say that covers it. deciding to abstain from alcohol is prob the best thing i ever did. lets me have a chance at figuring myself out rather than hiding everything away for a little while. okay im babbling. if you read this, im sorry, LOL!!!
anyone else see a marked improvement in how they take care of themselves in general after going clean and sober? anyone think their self esteem took a hit after.. well, ok, not everyone was waiting for marriage... ]]> Women In Recovery left4lonely http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/188379-self-worth-sobriety.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187906-moms-out-there.html Thu, 05 Nov 2009 17:03:57 GMT Just curious what you Moms out there have done/are doing to get and stay sober.

Day one for me. I'm a 29 year old working Mom of a 5 & 2 year old trying to get sober.


Any advice and suggestions would be so helpful ]]> Women In Recovery Krismutt1 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187906-moms-out-there.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187756-anyone-here-cosa-s-anon.html Tue, 03 Nov 2009 19:44:36 GMT I'm just looking for some support sisters that have dealt with these types of issues. If you don't want to post here please IM me.
Thanks!! ]]> Women In Recovery CoDieNOmore http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187756-anyone-here-cosa-s-anon.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187630-27-days.html Mon, 02 Nov 2009 02:23:02 GMT Happy November, I am on day 27 of alcoholism recovery, attending AA, working AA program with sponsor. I have rejoined after being away from sober recovery, so just saying hello...had a rough day, but... Happy November, I am on day 27 of alcoholism recovery, attending AA, working AA program with sponsor. I have rejoined after being away from sober recovery, so just saying hello...had a rough day, but I think that making it through rough times without the old solution is what is difficult, yet progress is getting sober, staying sober, so the staying sober even though feelings are not good is progress. Doing whatever it takes instead of drinking, old solution is what has been working for me, so far, not sure about desire to drink and why that is so on my mind only the last few days, but hopefully will pass. I rented a movie, maybe taking my mind somewhere other than my thoughts will be a good move! Well, hope to give as well as receive here, and thanks for the support. :23: ]]> Women In Recovery keepcominback http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187630-27-days.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187339-not-pretty-enough.html Thu, 29 Oct 2009 02:52:07 GMT Let me preface this by saying I am really not looking for validation, but advice. I have a couple of people in my life (thanks mom=) who are fond of telling me how pretty I am, if that worked, I... Let me preface this by saying I am really not looking for validation, but advice. I have a couple of people in my life (thanks mom=) who are fond of telling me how pretty I am, if that worked, I wouldn't be posting this.

The idea that I am a child of God, or a creature of a loving universe is o.k. too, but I am talking about physical attractions and relations.

So, I got dumped by a guy last weekend, and I took it far harder than the situation warranted. I spiraled for a bit, and today I landed upon at least a major part of the problem. I don't believe I am pretty enough to date. Lame right? I know there are people out there who go for more than looks, as I am one, but this is some internal damage.

I have dressed down (sloppy and boy like) since my teen years. I don't wear make up, dresses or heels. I don't wear clothes that fit. When I go out, on a date or to social settings, I always assume my personality will suffice.

It is entirely possible, in fact probably, that this guy walked due to issues having nothing to do with me. I may end up being thankful, because as I poked and prodded my wound, I finally found the source of my misery, and that is, I figure I am just not his "type", because I am not most people's type.

So, I am grateful for the nice bits and pieces of me I have, and I know many have it worse. I also am ashamed to say it even matters, as I love the idea of loving myself for who I am and despising all of those "magazine" suggested archetypes. Now on to the part where I discover how to not feel substandard. Any suggestions? I am sure this is a totally common problem for women everywhere, with today's hideously unachievable beauty ideals, so has any one out there figured out how to stop feeling like they are not pretty enough? ]]> Women In Recovery Gypsy Feet http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187339-not-pretty-enough.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187178-jobs.html Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:10:16 GMT I was fired almost a year ago from my job of 14 years because of my drinking. I worked as a temp for awhile at a job that paid 1/2 what I was making before. I ended up without a job after a suicide... I was fired almost a year ago from my job of 14 years because of my drinking. I worked as a temp for awhile at a job that paid 1/2 what I was making before. I ended up without a job after a suicide attempt the day after Easter. I am so scared about getting a job again. I don't know what to say in an interview. I have been working on my sobriety during that time since and have been sober more than drunk now. I have been going to AA meetings. My husband is going to al-anon with all women and that is scary for me. I know I need to get past that (not easy). Is anybody else out there struggling to stay sober while dealing with all of this stuff? I know there has to be someone out there. ]]> Women In Recovery lostone460 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187178-jobs.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187112-goddess-hot-flash.html Mon, 26 Oct 2009 00:29:55 GMT OMG!

I can't get through a meeting without having to grab something out of my purse to fan with... I've had people move AWAY from me because the fanning gave THEM a chill!!!!!!!

Anybody else living in their own private preview of what HELL is like????

My sponsor's sponsor said they dropped her 'budget' heat amount this year because she went through so much of last winter without the NEED for heat!

I haven't slept for 6 hours in a row for months because of this waking up inferno stuff....

LOL!

There *has* to be a funny side of this?????:react ]]> Women In Recovery barb dwyer http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/women-recovery/187112-goddess-hot-flash.html