http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/ Do you want to quit drinking? The Alcoholism forum is an open forum for those who want to stop or who have stopped drinking. Sat, 21 Nov 2009 03:02:39 GMT vBulletin 60 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/images/misc/rss.jpg http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/ http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188966-90-days.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 18:40:04 GMT Big milestone for me... 90 days as of yesterday. I have been through just about every drinking challenge there could be, including a week in Key West, cruise ship work, and gigs and parties where... Big milestone for me... 90 days as of yesterday. I have been through just about every drinking challenge there could be, including a week in Key West, cruise ship work, and gigs and parties where alcohol is readily available. Most of the time it's not an issue... and if I have a craving I do find that it's gone within 5 minutes. My life is SO much less complicated without drinking...

Thanks for all the support here... SR is one of my sanity lifelines and just reading others' posts has been a big help and re-enforcement for me.

S ]]> Alcoholism sunrise1 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188966-90-days.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188960-health-efforts.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:31:02 GMT Just curious.. once all drinking is done.. what steps are you alll taking to get your health back? What lifestyle changes have you made?
I know it'll take some time for me to get healthy again after 10 years worth of drinking.

I just want to make sure I'm going about it the right way. Just opinions.. I don't expect any medical advice.

Thanks!~ ]]> Alcoholism Krismutt1 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188960-health-efforts.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188959-three.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:23:44 GMT ...years ago today. Alive and sober! ...years ago today. Alive and sober! ]]> Alcoholism Russelrb http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188959-three.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188913-over-hill-alcoholics.html Fri, 20 Nov 2009 02:54:44 GMT Hello
I'm an "over the hill" alcoholic.
I'm not trying to stir up S&*^. I'm just having a little fun:ring
Remember when we had to "get up" to change channels on the TV.
Or put your finger in the hole on the telephone and spin the dial to (dial a number)
And to stay on topic. Remember when beer cans had pull tabs. The kind you could bend together and make a necklace out of.
Ah the good old days.
Man I wish I would have had the sense to sober up back then.
Fred ]]> Alcoholism Nevertheless http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188913-over-hill-alcoholics.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188894-brain-cells-rebound-alcohol-abstinence.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:47:01 GMT I found this very interesting....

"Alcoholism damages brain structure and function. Alcoholics have impairments in the ability to reason, plan or remember.... and a difficulty in ability to understand negative consequences. ...damage to frontal lobe.

However, studies have shown the brain can start to repair itself after an alcoholic ceases to consume alcohol. There is a pronounced increase in new brain cells within four-to-five weeks of abstinence. This included a twofold burst in brain cell proliferation at day seven of abstinence."

Additionally, exercise can help a recovering alcoholic speed brain cell regeneration to repair damage done by alcoholism.

From these articles:

Brain Cells Rebound With Alcohol Abstinence

New Brain Cells Develop During Alcohol Abstinence, UNC Study Shows

Could Exercise Regenerate Alcohol-Damaged Neurons? ? Psychiatric News ]]> Alcoholism LBW http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188894-brain-cells-rebound-alcohol-abstinence.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188884-what-made-you-want-quit.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:10:19 GMT Hi all,

I usually post in the Friends and Family section ... I hope you don't mind me posting a question here.

My AH has been trying to quit drinking during the past 2 months (trying a 1 day/ week outpatient group therapy), but doesn't seem to make it longer than 10 days before he falls off the wagon and starts bingeing. We were talking yesterday and he said that it is too hard for him to quit and treatment isn't working. I told him that I feel like he doesn't really want to give up alcohol and that this is probably why treatment isn't working (he has always said that he is doing treatment for us - because he doesn't want to lose me). He admitted that he doesn't want to give up alcohol, but he knows he needs to and he doesn't know how to do it.

My Question to those of you who have been sober for a while: what made you WANT to quit? Is it something that you realized while in the process of treatment or was there something that happened before treatment that made you realize you want to get sober?

(Maybe I don't understand it, but I feel like if you really want to quit you will be proactive about it and go to forums like this one, or to AA, or read books on the subject, or build yourself a support system, etc... grabbing on to whatever straw you can find and see what works for you!? Please don't get me wrong... I know it can't be easy, and I'm not asking for perfection... I'm just a little confused on how someone can go to group once a week and not do any work on himself other than those 2 hrs a week and then says that treatment isn't working).

Just trying to understand! ]]> Alcoholism Lotus2009 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188884-what-made-you-want-quit.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188875-feelings-being-let-down-those-around-you.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 14:26:53 GMT Hi Everyone, I would like to know if my expectations of others were too high and unreasonable when I sought our their help and support. I have filed a grievance against a former employer and had... Hi Everyone,

I would like to know if my expectations of others were too high and unreasonable when I sought our their help and support. I have filed a grievance against a former employer and had asked several ex-colleagues(FRIENDS; including my brothers) to help me with my case by acting as a witness. The request did not actually require then to 'take the stand in person,' but rather be available to provide their perspectives in a writen state,ent about the job. Out of the four friends I contaced, only two replied with reasons as to why they did not want to, while the others did not respsond at all...As for my brother, he did not give me any reason. Shoud I feel let down? Angry?

PatK ]]> Alcoholism Patk http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188875-feelings-being-let-down-those-around-you.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188872-derailed.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:36:25 GMT Hello Friends. The last I was here was to celebrate my 1 year sobriety on Oct 20th. On Oct 30, I was pregnant and we were going in for our 12 week Ultra sound. As soon as I looked at the... Hello Friends.

The last I was here was to celebrate my 1 year sobriety on Oct 20th.

On Oct 30, I was pregnant and we were going in for our 12 week Ultra sound. As soon as I looked at the screen my world as I knew it came crashing down. Our baby had stopped growing at 10 weeks, right after we heard the heartbeat. Devastation isn't even the word to express how I felt... a complete loss of words really. I was able to get a D&C that very day to remove the baby.

A year of sobriety in my pocket, and yet after this loss the first thing I thought of was I wanted to drink. Somehow, the strength I had for over a year was blinded by my need to mask the pain that i was feeling. It's so sad how quickly the alcoholic brain takes over. I told DH that urge and because HE never really considered me an alcoholic, he thought it was ok. I didn't drink right away, though I wanted to... Nov 6 I had my first glass of wine, home with DH watching a movie. I got tipsy... I liked it. All of a sudden I'm thinking... Oh I can do this... I can drink, I'll be fine. From that sip on, all I thought about was when I would drink next. Every day I woke up... am I gonna drink tonight? All the while trying to convince myself, I'm fine... I'm just thinking that way because I hadn't drank in so long. Nov 13 (last Friday) I went out with my DH for some drinks and apps.. had a good time, had 4 glasses of wine, got drunk. Next day woke up, feeling a little hungover... I thought, oh I didn't miss this at all. Later that day, I started wondering if we were gonna drink again that night. We didn't, only because DH wasn't. Sunday, from the time I woke up I knew I was gonna get drunk. I wanted to get drunk... once everyone came over to watch the games (1PM) I poured myself my first glass of wine. I was in a sad mood... I knew what my number one mission was. I got very drunk... I don't remember anything after 6... DH said I was slurring badly, and I was up in bed by 730 passing out. Monday Nov 16, I woke up at 3am knowing right away that I made a very big mistake, reminding myself again I AM AN ALCOHOLIC... my mind tricked me because of the sadness I felt after the loss of our baby. I woke up for the day and decided to hop back on that wagon and dedicate my life to being clean and sober again!

What am I gonna do differently this time you ask? I have decided to go to AA... which I did not do the last time... SR was my #1 help. I know I need more this time. I have a friend that I am going with to my first meeting this weekend. I'm really looking forward to it.

We found out the baby we lost had a 1 and 5 chance of having Trisomy, which is a type of down syndrome. It was a blessing in disguise... I understand that everything happens for a reason. I'm slowly healing... day by day it gets easier to cope with the loss.

I was scared of coming back to SR... felt like I was coming back with my tail between my legs... I start reading post thinking it will help, but it reminded me how disappointed I am in myself. I am trying to stay positive. I know I am making the right decision and I need to just take one day at a time.

Thanks for letting me share!!

Shannon ]]> Alcoholism shanman422 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188872-derailed.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188859-alcoholic-age-8-a.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 04:13:35 GMT I was an alcoholic at the age of 11 or probably earlier. Although I didn't get drunk till I was 13, it was that feeling of not being right emotionally that I had when I was 8 . That is my Alcoholism. The one in where I took my first drink and I knew my problems were solved. This, at thirteen when I liked this girl and had emotions that I had no Idea how to deal with. But I did. I raided my moms Bourbon and got drunk. Drinking was the answer. Or the high school party where
I to down a couple of pitchers just to be able to feel comfortable enough not to run.

On and on and more later. ]]> Alcoholism Vulcan http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188859-alcoholic-age-8-a.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188858-finally-first-aa-meeting.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 03:41:36 GMT I posted a few backs about my hesitation in going to an AA meeting. I would get to the door...And walk right past. I would call up for meeting times then get cold feet and find something else to do.... I posted a few backs about my hesitation in going to an AA meeting. I would get to the door...And walk right past. I would call up for meeting times then get cold feet and find something else to do.
Today i called intergroup at 6:25pm, got an open meeting starting at 6:30pm that was less than 5 minutes from my job. I had to do it. I did. It was great.
The higher power stuff is still very abstract and a bit over my head for now; although i sort of get it.
What i loved, and knew i would,was being in the company of people with a similar struggle. Up until what has been the most helpful to me is reading the experiences of others in books so this just seems to build on that.
Some of the speakers were great, some not so great, but i still was able to get something out of everything that was said and each thing i "got" seemed to help me "get" something of my own a little better.
So far this seems like a far an away better option than what i have been doing up until this point. And the price cannot be beat!
Thanks all
c ]]> Alcoholism skolc http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188858-finally-first-aa-meeting.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188857-hello-again-question-non-parenthood.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 02:34:37 GMT Hi there I posted awhile back when i was in very rough shape and needed help through fear and detoxing...I did get through that very rough detox and ended up getting a month in sober,but then I... Hi there
I posted awhile back when i was in very rough shape and needed help through fear and detoxing...I did get through that very rough detox and ended up getting a month in sober,but then I drank again.
So here I am detoxing again (day three).

I was wondering if anyone has ever had to deal with not being in thier son/daughters life because of alcohol...I dont live in the same country as my sixteen year old and have not seen him in person for a coupla years. I first came to this country on a job offer but the recession hit (and ongoing alcoholisum) and now I am just making ends meet. Anyways, he doesnt want to talk to me as his mother and everyone has told him 'Dont bother talking to (me) till (I) get sober...etc etc...now he's told me 'Dad don't call me I'll call you...'
He is in a good home with his new 'Dad' and new family with his mother.

truth be told also...his mother and I dont get along lately and because I have been drinking for so long I never have lived close to him and always worked abroad etc...I never really have been in his life (full time) but I have always made an effort to phone him and stay in contact and usually visit for three weeks a year...well, now that has just turned into no contact, hes never home, he doesnt want to talk etc...just sends short 'blurb' email now about twice a year...

I still pay child support and send cards and gifts, but get no or very little response...

I constantly feel guilt about not being in his life more (and all this time) and I was just curious if anyone has found a situation incredibly hard in getting sober and staying sober?

I keep dreading he will give me the 'You were never there talk...' one day and i deserve it...

Any stories of hope? ]]> Alcoholism whatevername http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188857-hello-again-question-non-parenthood.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188854-181-days.html Thu, 19 Nov 2009 00:56:27 GMT Hi gang, I checked my sober time yestaerday, 180 days!! The last 6 months has been very good, thanks for your support Hi gang, I checked my sober time yestaerday, 180 days!!

The last 6 months has been very good, thanks for your support ]]> Alcoholism Seekingsobriety http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188854-181-days.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188848-shame.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:58:48 GMT Hey guys. I came across this post on the net while looking into reasons for drinking. Seemed to have rung a bell for me.
"I am not an alcoholic, but as a fellow 'shame addict' I want to let you in on a little secret: the guilty feeling is the reason you drink. Crazy, eh? But it's true. Shame is a very, very strange thing.

See, shame isn't like normal, healthy guilt. Normal, healthy guilt says: 'I've done something wrong. I must make it right. If I can't make it right, then at least I'd like to make sure that I don't do it again.' That's the healthy way to feel about things we do wrong (and everybody does things that are wrong at times). But I'm sure you're well aware that that is not what goes through your head when you're processing the night before, is it? What does on in your head is a whole jumble of feelings, this burning, searing sensation of self-loathing, this almost moaning sense of regret, of wishing you could undo certain things you've done. Well, okay, I'm not really talking about you anymore; I'm talking about me, because that's how it feels when I go through that process. And while I have a different object for my shame (I'm chronically irresponsible – ignore car insurance payments, don't get the rent in on time, horrible credit score, etc) I think shame is really the same for everyone, and it's always something that can take over.

Shame is addictive mostly because it's a manifestation of a desire to punish oneself. Every time you feel ashamed of yourself, the part of you that's doing the shaming gets to feel like it's doing the right thing. So, though it seems counter-intuitive, you drink not just because of the chemical addiction but also to feed that tiny part of you that feels satisfied the next morning when it berates you and makes you feel like ****. That part of you takes charge and acts as judge and jury, proclaiming that this is so shameful that it must be hidden and that this ought to be a secret which you alone live with. It does this because isolating you is the best method it has for keeping you beaten down.

That's why friends are so important in a situation like this, especially for people like me and you who suffer a lot from our shame. Friendship kills the shame. The shame wants you to tell not a soul about the **** that happened last night, to try to pass it off as if nothing happened and act too mortified to speak when the subject comes up. But when you talk to a true friend about it, and that friend can still look you in the eye and care about you and value you as a human being, it just demonstrates that the voice of shame in your head is dead wrong – this isn't the most mortifying thing that's ever happened to a person, it's not the absolute end of your social life, and while you still have a long way to go, you've got people who want to see you get there.

Talk to a friend or two long and hard about what you've been through. Get it off your chest. Forgive yourself so that you can go about putting it right. You are worth more than this problem, so don't give in to the voice that wants to hold on to the shame out of fear or self-loathing."
Any opinions? ]]> Alcoholism mmeat http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188848-shame.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188825-day-2-again.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:00:26 GMT Hey guys and gals, I'm on day 2 again... This is the worst day for me since I will probably start feeling better this afternoon and then its game on. Trying to find the courage and determination to just get through tonight and see what tomorrow brings. I've been a lurker for a few months, and decided to finally peek my head out. ]]> Alcoholism OntheWabash http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188825-day-2-again.html http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188812-hi.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:31:33 GMT Scared, sleepless night. Feel like I want to tell everyone I'm an alcoholic and at the same time want no one to know. I just came off another 4 day binge after 16 sober days (on antabuse). Convinced myself I could drink in moderation...again...blacked out> Husband is my drinking buddy, what am i suppose to do about that? anybody else new in recovery try antabuse? ]]> Alcoholism mamato3 http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism/188812-hi.html