Not Good

[renee18]

Things for me have been not good. My eating has taken over my life again. I eat so much food but i don't care anymore. I have gained weight clothes too tight now but again I just don't know anymore.

I know it is the insides that counts but right now it is the outside. I eat because of the crap of my parents and living with them. I need out but I can't and i have to live with that. My mom as said things to me that a mother should not say to their child but she does anyway.

I am sick of the games and i am sick of being sick

Shana

[Pony]

Shana, I am so sorry to hear that you are having a hard time of it right now. Are you home for the summer? Is there something that you can keep yourself busy with or involved with for the summer that can keep you out of the house for a while?

Also what about the meetings? Have you gone to any of those since you have been home?

Yes, it is what's on the inside that counts, but I do understand what you mean about the outside. You and I have been over this road together many times.....Not ever having met you or seen a picture I can't comment on the features and point out all those great qualities I know you have......except to say that with cyber space all I so see is the inside.... the part that says to me that you are sweet and caring, intelligent and supportive of those who need it....all of which only adds up to that fact that I can't imagine anything less then a beautiful person inside and out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[best]

Parents tend to mess up from time to time and some ..well maybe they just don't know any better. That doesn't justify what they say though.

Where do we go from there? A bag of cookies in my room didn't change things. getting angry didn't change things. Moving out didn't change them.
I came to realize who my mom was is beyond my ability of change.
Can't change her so I had to change me. I never gave her excuses but I did look for reasons why she may be like she was. That helped me better deal with and understand things. If I sit down and eat a bag of cookies now, it isn't a comfort thing as it was in the past... it would be from habit or just the fact that I like certain cookies very much.
The choice is mine. I can control food or I can allow food to control me.

What worked for me, may help you?
Look for understanding of why she does things as she does.
Through understanding the why, you may find a form of acceptance that can be delt with. For me.. less stress equals less cookies.

[Nina Kay]

Hi Shana,
I really agree with what Pony and Best said. I too had to look for the reasons that my Mother did and said what she did. I tried to look at her life through her eyes. I remembered some stories she used to tell of her childhood and things that happened in her life and started to see what all she must have gone through and how I wouldv'e felt if I'd been her. I finally came to the conclusion that she loves me and others in her own way. It's not what I see as love, but it's her way. None of the things that she does ugly is really personal to me even when she points them at me or blames me for them. She just doesn't know how to deal with her emotions and it's coming out all wrong. I'm not trying to say that it's okay for her to treat you badly, it is most certainly not, but it's the best she knows how to do with what all her life has dished her and it's not your fault. I agree with Pony that it would be great if you could fill your time there in positive ways. Things you enjoy doing, little or big, away from her. Some people just aren't going to change no matter what, so we have to learn to deal with our situation in ways that are best for us. Not saying it's easy, cause it's not, but it's doable, like if you can't get away from her to go to meetings and fun things, then maybe you can take up reading or crosswords or things like that. You can do those kinds of things in your room or outside in the backyard. Take up walking or something.

I do hope that you can get to as many OA meetings as you can and read alot of OA literature or healthy literature otherwise. I do wish you would get a sponsor and make lots of phone calls to OA members that know what you are going through. And don't forget to come here and read and talk to us as much as possible. All of these things have been keeping me very busy lately and I'm learning alot about healthy choices and being around healthy influences. Replace the negative with the positive one step at a time. I'm so sorry that you're having such a tough time. I do care. (((((HUGS))))))

[Nina Kay]

Hey Shana,
How are you doing this morning? We'd all love to hear from you. Please keep coming back here and talking to us. (((((Morning Hugs))))))

[renee18]

Hi guys. THanks for all you support and comments. They really help. THis morning I am ding okay. I will post later I have to get going to work.

THanks,
Shana

[best]

Thank you for keeping us informed.
Glad to read you are doing good.

[Nina Kay]

Hey Shana,
I'm glad that you're doing okay this morning. I'll be checking for your post later. (((((((((HUGS))))))))

[renee18]

Okay not too bad of a day today. I ate some junk but really didn't binge that much or at all. Work today was okay. i have the weekend off which is great.

I am worried about this weekend. My friend from college is coming down to spend the night and go to church with me on Sunday. I am getting baptized Sunday. My mom said she is coming but she has said that before and she said not go. I hope and pray that my mom will be there. It is hard enough for me that my dad is not going to be there for me, but I will have the support of a lot of other people there so it helps.

Love,
SHana

[best]

Your heavenly dad will be there *Smile*

I am so happy for you.

[Nina Kay]

Hi Shana,
I'm happy for you too. That is just wonderful news !!!!!! If I lived close to you, I would be there. Just believe that your Mom will be there as she said. If she doesn't, you know that she is really the one that missed out and it is because of her own problems and not you. I'm glad that your friend is coming to be with you and support you. You are so lucky to have that good of a friend. Alot of people don't have a good friend like that. I hope that you'll come back and tell us how wonderful you feel after you are baptized. I'm so excited for you.

Hey that was good that your slip didn't turn into a binge. That is really positive progress. Progress; Not Perfection, remember. Sounds like a good day and something to look forward to. Keep coming back here and talking with us, k?!

[renee18]

Thanks guys I will keep you update.

Good night
Shana

[Pony]

Well I am late in getting in here, but I am happy to hear that today was better for you Shana. I am excited to here that you are getting baptized. That is so cool that your friend is going to be there. Nina is right, if your mom doesn't show up she will be missing out on one of the best blessings.

Just know that I'll be there with you in spirit......but most of all, my dad and you grandpa will be looking down on you and smile with pride that you are making this choice in your life.

Lots of hugs girlfriend !

[renee18]

Thanks everyone Day has started out okay but not great. I got up at 4:00am that is right am. I have been up since then. So I had about 5 1/2 of sleep. I am up now. I really do not feel good and i am not sure why maybe because it is that time of the month. I am bloat etc... THat is my morning.


love,
Shana

[Pony]

Originally Posted by renee18

Thanks everyone Day has started out okay but not great. I got up at 4:00am that is right am. I have been up since then. So I had about 5 1/2 of sleep. I am up now. I really do not feel good and i am not sure why maybe because it is that time of the month. I am bloat etc... THat is my morning.


love,
Shana

Advil Liquidgels usually works for me!!! lol.. Do something good for yourself, will make you day better. Remember that you can't change anyone else....just you! Your own attitude can make or break your day.

[splendra]

((((Shana)))))

Take care of you. Eat some super foods get some nutrition in you....

stay away from moldy cheeses such as blue cheese, parmesian, sharp chedars, agassio, gorgonzolia. These cheses are very likely to contribute to bloating and cramping...