Not doing what I need to....

[Pony]

OK, well, I have not had a very good start to my week. Last week I had set a goal....or really a time limit to my goofing off and said I was going to start on Monday with a new plan of action....lol....yeah right! I seemed to have gotten distracted on Monday with my friends moving out.....so I never made it to the gym. It just continued from there with me not making it to the gym. Here it is Thurs. and I have not followed through with the plan.

I am very disappointed in me.

I am getting my dad's car ready for sale....also the power chair he had gotten just before he died. There are a few other things....that I have procrastinated on...that I am working on completing this next week also.

One thing at a time...I know..

[Nina Kay]

Pony,
I really do understand because I've not been working my plans either, for a while now. I do plan on getting started with taking things alot more seriously this weekend. I won't be home tomorrow or Saturday, so I won't be able to really get my plan started until Sunday. I just wanted you to know that I do understand how much life can just get in the way, but we will get serious about our recovery. We just have to not give up. I know that you won't give up and I'm telling you that I won't either. We can do this, we just have to be more commited to our own recovery and our own health. We are going to have to make out our specific plans and the basic steps to put our plan to work and recommit ourselves to stick with it and carry it through.

I'm glad to hear that you are dealing with some things concerning your dad's things that you have been avoiding. I really think that it will help you alot when you get those things taken care of and it's not weighing on you in the back of your mind. Don't You ? ((((((((((((((Empathy Hugs))))))))))))))

[Pony]

Thanks Nina,

I'm glad you are not giving up either. I don't plan on ever giving up, but it just frustrates me that I don't do what I need to do and I know that I need to. I think.."What's the matter with me anyway, that I can't just make that committment and do it" Makes me think that maybe the ex-b/f has a point about me.........Oh, I don't know. I just know that I have to keep on trying for me....and my little one. Because she needs a better example to follow than I have been. I don't want her to struggle as hard with this be teaching her the right way now while she is still young enough to "get it" and not let this stuff ruin her life or happiness.

Anyway, coming here and talking about it helps keep me accountable as I have said so many times before.

I heard from my neighbors and so far all is going good for them there in AZ. I am glad, but I do sure miss them. I know you all are probably tired of hearing that...lol...but they were pretty much my reason for coming out of my room. Now that is the only place I am....until I came out to go on the computer,.....which I can only do after "he" goes to bed.

My oldest g-daughter's B/day is Sat. and we are going to her party at a pizza place. Sun. will be laundry day and maybe getting some planning done for the week.

[best]

Procrastination is my middle name *LOL*
Even if I changed my middle name, there are still only 24 hours in any day.
A list is a guide. Life happens and a list gets changed as the day goes on. We do what "needs" be done. If it is a matter of doing other things that we feel "needs" be done, it becomes a matter of changing priorities and sticking to it.
Ever notice what you cut out of your day? I do.

I shall repeat this till you accept it for what it is...the truth.

You are a Beautiful, sweet, wonderful, loving, kind, giving, person.

Now that said... When you make your daily list...have that beautiful, sweet, wonderful, loving, kind, giving person be the first one that you do things for. Stop pushing her (yourself) aside and do something nice for you.
You deserve it and guess what... when you do for you, you make yourself stronger so you can do for others with more ease. All win when you start with You.

[Pony]

Best, You make me blush !

It's hard to do something for "me" because it feels so selfish. I was taught that others come first......good christian thing.

The list....yeah, I am familiar with the "list". I make lists and then very professionally avoid them or just rebel. Stupid, I know, because I only make it harder on me, but I still find myself pushing what good for me aside. That is why I sometimes feel that I may not have what it takes to lose this weight and get that healthy life. I can't seem to stay committed to sticking with the routine/plan of healthy eating and exercise. Am I doomed to be overeweight for life???? who knows???!!!!

I had an experience last night, while I was working, that I will share........

I had to take a high school track team to the meet. I spent most of the time in my bus by myself. I went walking to find the coach to see how far along they were.....well, as I was walking up along the top of the stadium, this man, about my father's age and looked a little like him too, was walking along side me. He makes a bit of small talk as we were walking along, asks my name (nothing out of the oridinary yet, I often talk with parents/g-parents that are watching the events); and then hands me his bus. card and says "Call me". Tells me all kinds of nice things about how he knows how to please a woman and such; then tells me that he married, but asks....You don't mind, do you???" Can you believe this???? He didn't even know me....walked right up and just prceeded to set me up for a "pick up".

Why, I wonder....well, I guess he thought I was a good target. Overweight woman can be an easy target for these types because it is a general idea that they are easy targets. I have heard guys talk !!

Yawn....it's late I need to go to bed, but thank you for the lovely things you say.....

[best]

Originally Posted by Pony

Why, I wonder....well, I guess he thought I was a good target. Overweight woman can be an easy target for these types because it is a general idea that they are easy targets. I have heard guys talk !!

So did you kick him in the....

*LOL*

Overweight woman are easy targets? Not that I have found.

As to the fact that others come first...Yes they do and when we take better care of ourself, we are putting others first. A healthier me can help you more then an unhealthy me. Take care of yourself and you are putting others first.

[best]

Originally Posted by Pony

but thank you for the lovely things you say.....

You need remember...I had seen the picture *Smile*

[Pony]

So did I kick him.....lol...NO, I was too in shock about the whole thing. It really threw me off-guard...lol


I have heard it said that some men find overweight women easy targets because most are hungry for the attention and would do anything for it....or believe the load of crap that they are being fed just to feel like someone is interested.


for your other point....make sense. Keep up yourself in order to be able to do for others.

[Pony]

Originally Posted by best

You need remember...I had seen the picture *Smile*

LOL, I'll have to get a new picture out....lol

I'm not just talking about my looks here in the posts above, I am talking about me...all of me. The all of me that does stuff and doesn't do stuff that should be.

[best]

The wonderful thing about the internet... you get to see the real person.
What I posted above is what I see. Now shall I tell you how beautiful the picture says that your outside matches the beauty of your inside?
One of these days you will agree with me and see the truth.

[Pony]

[Pony]

Well, this week seems to have flown by. Here it is Fri. night. Actually it's already after midnight, but it's still my Friday night. lol

I have some things that I need to accomplish this weekend, so I hope that I do get them done.

I need to put some serious action into my healthy living plan.

I need to stop eating out of my emotions this week. My emotions and hormones are on a rollercoaster this week.....lots of up's and down's.

I thank all of you here for just listening to my rantings and supporting me. I have been feeling pretty disgusted with myself for not doing what I know I need to do....because I know that everytime I look in the mirror, I am not happy with what I see, but I am not taking enough action and that falls on me...no one else. It's my responsibility to make those changes and follow through with action....positive action towards health....not addiciton.