obsessed

[Nina Kay]

I don't know who to talk to about this. I can't afford to see a psychologist. I am obsessed with my kids and grandkids and can't seem to go on with my personal life without feeling guilty for putting myself first and not being there for them everytime they might need me or want me there. What are your thoughts on this?

[Nina Kay]

Ms B,
Thank you so much for your reply. My daughter says that I do not need to feel the way I do, because she wants me to take care of myself better. No one else is saying anything. I think that this is coming from something in my past. I don't really know how to get around my own emotions. They're driving me crazy and weighing me down. You did not step out of line. I don't really think that this is what's happening, but it will give me something to think about. I really feel like I'd rather be with them than to be taking care of myself, but I know that I need to do these things for myself. Maybe I'm being like a spoiled child and just wanting what I want and not having the self-control to say no to myself. I want my cake and eat it too, so to speak. I think that this is what it is and I just don't know how to get around it. I don't think that I have the ability to decide properly what is most important. I'm also doing home schooling and will have to work again soon. I won't be available at all times. I will then have to be able to get my priorities straight. I would love to be able to have a full personal life without neglecting my family or having to feel like I have my priorities mixed up.

[Pony]

You sound little like how I have felt in the past as well as present. We should really talk!!!!!!

I read this earlier, but needed some time to think about it. I would love to talk to you more about this before I give an opinion, but know that I have you in my thoughts and I am listening.......you are not alone in this because I, too, have had similar issues with this area.

[law47]

I can relate to your statement Nina. I have a tentency to want to do for others and forget myself. I felt Ms B statement also rang a bell for me because I do want to avoid whats going on with me at times, its the easy way out for me not to have to face my demons. They can be pretty scary. Wow, that was a very powerful statement Ms B, I had to think about that one myself.
If I don't set boundries for myself, I become very resentful to others. I am a people pleaser. I want everyone to like me, and I don't like conflict in my life so I do what makes me feel good. If that makes any sense. I just try to do the best I can at being a decent human being in a days time. That keeps it pretty simple for me. But I do have to pray for the willingness to do so.
Have a great day.
Lori

[Nina Kay]

I want say thank you to everyone that replied to my post. I needed to hear each one of your perspectives. Just for this event, I was able to choose to take care of myself and go to the OA meeting instead of my grandson's T-ball practice. I will go at this one event at a time. Thank you all for being here for me again. This kind of choice always throws me into the biggest tailspin and affects my life extremely.