Abstinence

[antreeta]

Another member of OA and I were talking on the phone, discussing on how the definition of abstinence has changed for both of us.
Myself, I don't even like the word, I see it as, in this part of my journey, abstinence is totally refraining from certain foods. But wait, now, I am just realizing to call it refraining from compulsively eating.
My food plan will probably change as life continues on, but I am in the mind set, that if I put something on my never-never list of not to eat, I will go crazy and binge on it.
I realize some people have had success with this. I get very stressed out listening to other people talk at meetings about what is on their never never list and then I feel guilty because I have no such list.
Also, I get it in my mixed up head, I should try to do everyone else's food plan. It has been a slow process, but I am finally learning what is right for me and how not to internalize that everyone is not telling me to do their food plan.
Has anyone else been caught in this kind of crazy thinking? Is this diet mentality or just a form of it?
Any suggestions as to how I might realize no one is preaching to me and speaking of themselves?
Food has been okay the last few days. No binges, no compulsively eating. It has been a relief and a gift from God.
Thanks for listening to me.
One meal at a time.
Love
Antreeta

[val]

Hi Antreeta,
I have just been reading a book about food addiction and it talks about abstaining from certain foods. I will have a go at staying away from the sugary stuff but If I dont eat wheat or flour as the book suggests then I think that I would go mad.
I am a vegetarian and I just dont know what else I could eat if I couldnt have any bread or pasta.
I think what I want is for someone to tell me that I dont need to abstain from everything that I enjoy because I just dont know if I can do that.

Love Val x

[Juls]

Different techniques work for different people. If I tell myself that I can never have something, or even if I tell myself I am on a "diet," (the dreaded word), for me I'll immediately want to start eating the forbidden food, or want to eat everything in sight.

I try to make it easy for myself, and instead of thinking about what I can't have, think in terms of eating more healthy food choices, fruits, veggies, whole grains, etc. Drink water, you know the routine.

It get's easier after awhile. My worst habit is eating in the middle of the night. I have pretty good control during the day, but for some reason if there's some kind of junk food like cookies in the house, I'll wake up at night and go eat some. LOL

Right now my biggest challenge is to start exercising.

Juls

[Laura9876]

Im new here but just read your post and for me im the same if i think i cant have a certian food i will just go mad for it.I read a book once called overcoming overeating that suggested to eat what you want when you were hungry and to stop when you are satisfied,This has worked a little for me,I also have a hypnosis tape by paul mckenna and think this is very good.Anyway I hope ive helped a little but Dont think your freinds are looking at you when they metion this,everyone is different and you will find a way that suits you ive found a little but still searching for other ideas,I suppose i just want to lose this 2 and a half stone over night but thats me impaitent lol so good look and dont be so hard on your self,im just the same ive just had fruit and a bit off custard because i felt like it but now feeling guilty but when i really think about it there was only 200 calories in it all so next time i have a meal ill try not to think about the fruit and custard because if i do i will feel guilty and think ohhhh sod it and eat more.Anyway antreeta im defently going now think ive gone on enough thats another problem ive got lol lov always laura