i feel DISGUSTING - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

frizzumb · 03-20-2006, 07:32 AM

i had some friends over this weekend and they all know about my ED. nonetheless, i didn't want them to see how far is has progressed so i ate in front of them. i've been sick since saturday night because of it. my therapist and my nutrionist are going to put me in the hospital because i can't tolerate food, and here i am trying to eat a chicken sandwich to make my friends feel comfortable around me. now i'm paying for it. so i bought a slimfast because it always makes me sick and has laxative like qualities for me. i know it's not right, but i feel like i ate enough for the entire army and i'm still sick. i guess i really do need the hospital. they don't want to put me in for psychiatric reasons, but for physical reasons since i can't tolerate food. i think it's time to stop trying to fool myself and admit that i just need a few weeks in the hospital to get my system straight. Messed up thinking is one thing, but this is ridiculous... and extremely painful. i hate this ED and what is has done to me.

best · 03-20-2006, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Messed up thinking is one thing,

So many times, it comes with any disorder or addiction.

Good to see you are thinking straight and seeing what is best for you.
Get youself healthy and then other things can be worked on after.

Good for you. Do it for you.

law47 · 03-20-2006, 08:22 AM

I will say a prayer for you today. I can empathize with the pain you are going through. Its amazing the mind games we play with our ED. I have a BED and the bahaviors are similar. It makes you feel crazy sometimes. But we have to remember, its our disease we are fighting. I truely believe its all about surrendering and giving up that control. I can't do it, God can, I think I'll let Him.
Take care of yourself, and I hope you find that inner peace you deserve.

Lori

frizzumb · 03-20-2006, 09:36 AM

normally i am quite the restrictive anorexic which is why this hurt so much. i didn't want my friends to see how much restricting i'm capable of. from now on, i'll just be myself. this isn't worth it. it's time to check in i think. owwwww.... !!!

**Done_With_It** · 03-20-2006, 10:06 AM

Ahhh sweetie, I think that is a great idea!!

It will be worth it. Coming from someone who's been there.

Stay strong, and let them help you as hard as it will be, you can do it!

Thinking about you.

DWI

**Pony** · 03-20-2006, 11:11 AM

Fizzumb, I think you are right, it's time to get you healthy and then worry about the rest after....I am sorry you are having such a rough go at it.

thinking of you Hugs

***Nina Kay*** · 03-20-2006, 01:39 PM

frizzumb,
I'm so glad to hear that you have come to the decision to get the help that you need. I think that you are doing the best thing for yourself and that takes strength and courage. I'm impressed. Taking that first step will be hard I know, but I believe that you will be so glad that you did it once you and feeling healthy again. I'll be thinking about you. Keep us up on how you are doing as soon and as often as you can.
((((((((((((((((((((Healthy Wishes and Support Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

03-20-2006, 07:32 AM	#1 (permalink)
frizzumb Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: NJ Posts: 10	i feel DISGUSTING i had some friends over this weekend and they all know about my ED. nonetheless, i didn't want them to see how far is has progressed so i ate in front of them. i've been sick since saturday night because of it. my therapist and my nutrionist are going to put me in the hospital because i can't tolerate food, and here i am trying to eat a chicken sandwich to make my friends feel comfortable around me. now i'm paying for it. so i bought a slimfast because it always makes me sick and has laxative like qualities for me. i know it's not right, but i feel like i ate enough for the entire army and i'm still sick. i guess i really do need the hospital. they don't want to put me in for psychiatric reasons, but for physical reasons since i can't tolerate food. i think it's time to stop trying to fool myself and admit that i just need a few weeks in the hospital to get my system straight. Messed up thinking is one thing, but this is ridiculous... and extremely painful. i hate this ED and what is has done to me.

03-20-2006, 10:06 AM	#5 (permalink)
Done_With_It ~6 YEARS BABY~ Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Hollywood Posts: 9,254 Blog Entries: 15	Ahhh sweetie, I think that is a great idea!! It will be worth it. Coming from someone who's been there. Stay strong, and let them help you as hard as it will be, you can do it! Thinking about you. DWI __________________ Living in fast forward Hollywood RockStar outta control Need to rewind real slow Always Runin Time to take control Oh yeah ...

03-20-2006, 11:11 AM	#6 (permalink)
Pony Forum Leader Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: trail of discovery Posts: 2,480	Fizzumb, I think you are right, it's time to get you healthy and then worry about the rest after....I am sorry you are having such a rough go at it. thinking of you Hugs __________________ "Failure is an EVENT, it is not a person â€“ yesterday really did end last night, and today is your brand new day..." .........unknown The sun always rises, and a new day begins.

03-20-2006, 01:39 PM	#7 (permalink)
*Nina Kay* Accepting Myself As Is Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here @ SR. Posts: 2,855	frizzumb, I'm so glad to hear that you have come to the decision to get the help that you need. I think that you are doing the best thing for yourself and that takes strength and courage. I'm impressed. Taking that first step will be hard I know, but I believe that you will be so glad that you did it once you and feeling healthy again. I'll be thinking about you. Keep us up on how you are doing as soon and as often as you can. ((((((((((((((((((((Healthy Wishes and Support Hugs))))))))))))))))))))) __________________ Acceptance is key to my Serenity. Nina Kay

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03-20-2006, 08:22 AM	#3 (permalink)
law47 Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Selinsgrove,PA Posts: 60	I will say a prayer for you today. I can empathize with the pain you are going through. Its amazing the mind games we play with our ED. I have a BED and the bahaviors are similar. It makes you feel crazy sometimes. But we have to remember, its our disease we are fighting. I truely believe its all about surrendering and giving up that control. I can't do it, God can, I think I'll let Him. Take care of yourself, and I hope you find that inner peace you deserve. Lori

03-20-2006, 09:36 AM	#4 (permalink)
frizzumb Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: NJ Posts: 10	normally i am quite the restrictive anorexic which is why this hurt so much. i didn't want my friends to see how much restricting i'm capable of. from now on, i'll just be myself. this isn't worth it. it's time to check in i think. owwwww.... !!!

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