Hi all......

[Pony]

Hi all, I know I haven't posted in a while. I have been still just so tired after working all day, and I have been tied up doing things for my mom. All my energy feels like it is still drained out of me. I felt like I was pushing myself through my day today. Tomorrow I will be up before the sun again and off to a drivers workshop to get the necessary inservice credits needed each year for my special certificate to drive school bus. It is usally a very fun workshop anyway....and there are lots of drivers, from our yard, going.

After I get out of there, I am going to have to drive our to Yucca Valley, which is near Palm Springs, to get my granddaughter back. Her father took her for his weekend visitation and has refused to bring her back. My daughter doesn't have a car and can't drive, so I am takinr her out there to get her daughter back. Sunday I hope to have a day of rest, but there are still lots of projects around here that need attention.

My eating....well, not to good. It's been kind of a free for all. I tell ya, I just don't know what is that matter with me sometimes. I know that I can't do this sort of thing, but I just let things go and just don't want to deal with it. But then I get angry at me when I look in the mirror and know that I have not been doing what I should. I haven't gotten back to the gym yet and I need to.

I guess you could say that I am just struggling right now to stay afloat and make it through each day without totally going off the edge. Sounds too dramatic....lol....well, I am an emotional personality. Well, I am a work in progress.

I hope all of you have a great weekend. I don't know how much I will be around, but I hope to check in and see how everyone is doing. I am going to try to get the Meditations out, but they might be late. Just keep checking for them. Hugs to all

[historyteach]

Hi, Pony!

It sounds like you've really got your hands full!
And you are still dealing with pnemonia. You need to be careful. We don't want you having a relapse.

Your daughter's ex sounds like a real winner! You need to deal with this right now like you need a hole in the head!

Oh, and I understand about the eating thing. Man, I'm not doing well there either. Quitting smoking has made me go crazy there! And I get mad at myself too. But, it's a temporary thing...I hope...

Take care of yourself, Pony. And remember...chicken soup - the Jewish penicillin!

Shalom!

[Nina Kay]

Hi Pony,
I've missed you around here, but it's easy to see that you have your hands full. Things are bound to let up for you soon. How's your Mother? Is she still messing up her meds?

And I just can't remember anything about a grandchild. You're too young to have a grandchild. How old is she? I'm glad the daddy is, at least, willing to give her back even though it's not right that you had to go to get her instead of him bringing her back.

I'm glad that you enjoy the workshops. That makes it a whole lot easier to get them done for the credit.

As far as the food goes, I'm certainly not doing too well either, but we've got to try to focus on getting back on track. We can't just let it slide. If we eat as healthy as possible during these times of stress, then we will be better able to handle the stress. Yes, I'm lecturing myself and sharing it with you. Aren't you glad that I'm such a sharing type person and that I picked you to share with? LOL!!!! You really need that right now, don't you?! Really, we can do this. I know we can. We just have to want it badly enough. Oatmeal and a sausage biscuit for breakfast in the morning, k? That's a healthy & fast breakfast, isn't it?

Really, I hope things settle down for you soon, Pony. You are important too and you need to be taken care of as well. ((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))

[sugarssweetpea]

I will pray for strength for you Pony. Take care of yourself, okay??

[bikewench]

Pony....

I had to stop and ask myself at one point...
What would happen to all these people and their problems if I died..??
And then I took each of them and thought it through.. until I could give each problem back to it's rightful owner...

Some people really need our help...

For others... it's just easier...

Carve out some "no" time for you... ;o)

[Pony]

LOL, thanks you guys. I just popped in here to check in. I am on my way out there to the desert to pick up the little one. Nina, I have four grandkids....two girls, two boys...lol Ans NO, the father does not know we are coming out there, he is not willing to give her up...that is why she is still there with him...he is playing games !!! But we have the court order of custody and he needs to give her back ! Period, or risk going back to jail....he is on probation!

Anyway, thanks for the support all of you, you have made me smile, hopefully tomorrow will be my day of rest!! besides laundry! lol

[Nina Kay]

Pony,
I did have a funny feeling about the daddy. I hope so much that things went good, when you went to get the baby. Please let us know if you get a chance to. I'd feel better knowing that you all got back home okay. I do hope that you try to rest tomorrow. Sounds like you could really use a break. Please take care of yourself. You are my friend. I'd like to keep you around here for awhile, okay?!

[Pony]

AAhhh Nina, you are sooooooooooo sweet!!! {{{{{{{Nina}}}}}}}

All went OK. He didn't fight turning her over, which was good because things like that shouldn't take place in front of the little ones, but would have if he would have resisted. He doesn't often go up against me.....he looks to me as a mom, since I've known him since he was born. Learned a few things about where he staying and the way she feels about him being there. But then again, I don't trust this girl either to be truthful. Anyway, the little one is back with her mommy where she belongs. You can tell that the visit was way toooooooo long for this little one. She was clinging to mommy the rest of the night. I am supposed to take her tomorrow so her and my little can spend some time together, we'll see how it goes.

I want to thank you so much for caring. I have been so out of it here and I'm sorry that I have not been contributing much. Tonight I got home and was so hungry I ate to much, to fast. Polished off a whole package of California cab rolls for dinner. I couldn't eat out cause I didn't have any cash, so I was starving when I got home.

Now I am very tired since I have been up since 5 am...........I am going off to bed. See everyone tomorrow sometime....whenever I can get near the computer.

[Nina Kay]

Pony,
I am so relieved to hear that all is well. As for the eating, you can start over any time of the day. Now is always a good time. I do see how you could have been starving though. Always a very big trigger for me is letting myself get too hungry, that's why I carry a package of peanut butter crackers with me every where I go. Just a thought.

(((((((((((((((((Sigh of Relief HUGS))))))))))))))))

[Pony]

Thanks Nina....you know, sometimes I feel like every min. of every day is a "start over" moment for me....lol

Tomorrow I am definately getting myself back into the gym, thou. It's going to be a slow start, but it's going to be a start! I am declaring it here so that I will have to be accountable for it if I do not follow through. When I am exercising my food follows along much better, not great, but better. We're working on "great" !! LOL

I did, however, wear a jacket yesterday- that I got for a xmas present from my co-workers- that had been a bit tight and it wasn't tight. I actually felt freedom of movement in it. So that was kind of a good feeling.

[Nina Kay]

OoH Pony,
You being able to wear that jacket comfortably sounds like a really great sign that you are doing better than you might have thought before. I am very glad to hear that you are going back to the gym again tomorrow. I know that you'll feel alot better about yourself when you finally get started back.

I've done better with the food the last few days, but I haven't been doing my hour walk. I plan on getting started again with that tomorrow, too.

[Pony]

Originally Posted by Nina Kay

but I haven't been doing my hour walk. I plan on getting started again with that tomorrow, too.

OK, we'll both have to check in and be accountable....LOL