anexoria......

[Lavender]

Hi all, I'm new here and I have a question.
I have a friend that has anexoria and I was wondering what, if anything I can do to help her? She is in counseling, gone through treatment, but things seem to be going downhill in that respect. I'm really worried. Any words of advice?

[Transcend]

Hi Lavender, I am really sorry to hear about your friend -- and I think it's great that you want to support her. Friends like you are just what she needs, even though she may pull away at times.

After recovering from 16 years of bulimia, I can give you my perspective on what is needed from friends. First of all, she has to want to recover herself, so sometimes parents or friends who focus on her eating may make her feel stifled or upset.

The issue with an ED is that there is an underlying cause that doesn't have to do with food, so if you can get her to talk about her feelings, that would really help. If you can just listen, support and try to understand, it will go a lot further than trying to change her. There are resources that I used in my recovery, which helped me connect better with who I really am. Most of the time, ED are the symptom of a big disconnet in mind-body-spirit. All of them need to heal before the ED is finally resolved.

Here are two resources you may find interesting:
http://www.mirror-mirror.org/ed.htm - this is a great website from a woman recovered from an eating disorder. She provides some helpful information here, including how to support a friend or family member.

http://TranscendBulimia.com - this is my blog, where I provide information on what helped me recover. My approach is to align body, mind & spirit -- so I provide tips and information that could be helpful to any addiction even though my focus is bulimia. My all time favorite book is Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth, which really helped awaken my spirit and get me back in touch with who I really am (most people with ED lose sight of who they truly are inside). It helped me decide to heal & continues to inspire me if I get a bit lost.

If you just give her unconditional love, that will be the best gift to her. It is probably what she is denying herself. Anorexia is fairly difficult to treat, although not impossible. If you want, I can give you the name of the medical intuitive that I went to -- who gave me a clean slate from addiction -- the clean slate meant that I had to continue with the journey to recover on my own, but she was an excellent guide along the way. She cures alcoholism, eating disorders and other addictions. After seeing her, I lost my addiction to sugar and was binge/purge free for 1.5 years. She helped me with food, vitamins and told me what to get checked by my doctor. She also kick started my alignment in body, mind & spirit. I can't recommend her enough -- and I can tell you the real scoop on what you might expect in working with her. I'm not sure I would have eventually recovered on my own without getting that clean slate & knowing what peace and health felt like. After relapsing, I started to know how to get to that place on my own and it allowed me to recover.

I am not trying to promote anything here, so if you want her name & website, let me know and I'd be happy to give it to you.

You are a kind soul for caring for your friend!

Warmly,
Heather
http://TranscendBulimia.com

[Nina Kay]

Lavender,
First of all, Welcome to the Forum. I agree with Heather, that you are a really great friend to care that much to want to help your friend. And that giving her your unconditional love will be priceless in helping her. She more than likely needs you to build her up by promoting her good characteristics and like Heather also said, don't focus on her anorexia. (weight) She needs to be with somebody who doesn't let that be all that they see in her. If she brings it up then you can suggest that she go to an area OA meeting. It is mostly overeaters, but it is really about all eating disorders and counselors suggest it because they work a 12-step program that helps to get at the cause of the problem. There is also Meetings on the Internet that she can go to day or night and she can remain anonymous. If you go to the top of this page and click on the stickys, you will find that site and you can share it with her. I think that the key is in understanding support from others going through the same. Let us know how things are going.

[Lavender]

Heather and Nina Kay, thanks so much for the kind words and the information.
Heather, i would appreciate the name of the medical intuitive.
I need to get into this further, cause it's something I just can't fathom and I think I need to have some understanding of what she's going through - as far as the anexoria goes.
Thanks again.

[Pony]

Lavender, welcome to this forum and to SR. I am glad that as a friend, you would like to have that understanding of what your friend is going through. It is not easy to have that understanding when you haven't had the experience yourself.

I have put together a collection of links above that deal with anorexia and a number of other eating disorders. Take a look around them and maybe they will help you gain some understanding and insight to this disease.

Please remember that you cannot force or shame your friend into getting help, she has to want it.