Today

[Pony]

Well here I am sitting here in front of my computer trying to not feel angry at my daughter who has once again just run away from her problems and not so much as a phone call that she was leaving town. I know she has issues.....lots of them....and I guess she just isn't truely ready to face them. Of course not that would mean that she would have to become ........ OH my ....what's that word.....????......"responsible" !!!!!!! I guess she just isn't capable of even trying to meet it half way. I know there isn't any half way, but I thought if she got that far maybe she would see the light at the end of that tunnel and want the rest. The sad part is that she is two months from delivering her baby and now she has no doctor.

I know I have to let it and her go, and let her fall flat. I really feel that I have done all I can the rest is up to her, but it just doesn't stop me from feeling angry that she is putting herself and that baby in harm. I also feel suck in again, and for that I am angry at myself for. I know better. I feel like I shouldn't have opened myself up and put out the help that I did. I tried very hard not to enable her to "work" her bad behavior and yet she found a way. I thought I had a chance to get through to her about getting help with dealing with her issues and stuff and today she just through it all away and left town.

She moved here to be near family and have our help in going through her prengnacy.......I'm not sure what she expected but it obviously isn't what she got. I told her that she had to take care of herself and her problems herself; that I wasn't going to do it for her and make it all go away.

Oh well, she's 22yrs. old, she had better learn someday that you can't run away from yourself.

Thanks all for listening, it was better to come here and babble on then to raid the cupboard with cookies.

The rest of her family is doing fine though.
Tomorrow is another day and I am having lunch with my Dad!
Oh yeah, I must say that today wasn't a total bummer. My daughter, that just had her baby, came over with her boyfriend and too me to breakfast. It was nice. That was soooo very cool.

Pony

[Paulie]

Oh Pony -
I am sorry, I know that you opened your heart again to help her (not that you shut her out before, you know what I mean). All you can do is pray for her and her child, I sure will. Sometimes running is so much easier, or at least it seems that way. I ran al long time from the people that loved me becasue I did not feel that I deserved it. I had hurt them all so much, they reached out and I ran, I was scared of hurting them again, and the guilt from the time I had disappointed them was over whelming. I don't know if this is how your daughter feels or not, but maybe it is a part of it.
Keep praying for her, she may have that moment of clarity and find her way back, we just don't know. She has to work on her own demons, all you can do is be there when she asks for help.

And you are right, venting here is better than a box of cookies !

I hope you have a great day and a wonderful lunch with you Dad!