Newb who has hit the wall..

[Killerbee]

I have finally hit the wall with my overeating and I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am a 32 year old male who has struggled with my weight all my life past the age of about 8. I am a compulsive overeater and I eat excesively for all the wrong reasons (guilt, depressed, bored, anxiety, and lastly because I love too eat). I can feel my health slowly failing I have hyper tension, sleep apnea and have a bad back. Im also positive most of my anxiety and depression are related to my overeating in one form or another. I am heavier than I have ever been I am about 280 lbs overweight and it is really really bringing me down. I have a beatiful wife who is a normal sized person and I feel bad for her to be seen with me but she excepts me. I also have twin daughters who love there daddy so much and dont see me as odd or different. We recently just went to Disney and ever since we came back I have felt really dumpy. Not being able to ride most of the rides and being tired and my back killing while walking there really took a toll on my psychi. I have got to get this eating under control not only for my current mental and physical health but so I can be around to see my kids grow up. Please if anyone is or has been in my position I would love to hear some encouraging words or for someone to tell me that it is going to be ok. Also where do I begin to get help and how do I get organized?

[sugarssweetpea]

I have been overeating since about age 7, but never had to worry about my weight until I was in my middle twenties. That's when I really started to pack it on. It has been really hard after being used to eating all the junk food I wanted & not gaining any weight. I am about 110 lbs overweight. I have two beautiful boys & am afraid that I will teach them bad habits. My 8 year old step-daughter is already 20 lbs over her maximum healthy weight. I made a pact with her that when my baby was born, we would both get skinny together (he is now 61/2 months old). I remade the pact when he was 6 months & I am heavier today than I was two weeks ago. I can feel your pain. I think that we need to open the Bible every time we want to overeat. I know that if I pray over my food choice, God leads me to the correct one. Most of the time I choose not to pray though, because I know if I do, I will not get to eat the junk. I will be praying for you.
God Bless You,
Sugarssweetpea

[bikewench]

Hey Killer...
Welcome to SR...
you too Sweet Pea...

So..
time to make some changes eh...? ;o)

I am bulimic/anorexic... with my top weight being 213 when I had to stop purging when I was pregnant.

I know how hard the struggle is.

In my 50 years of dealing with food issues... I have some to one rock solid conclusion.
I must get moving....
EVERYDAY...

This helped me mentally, physicaly and spirtually... which is the levels we must heal on.

Before even thinking about a food plan...
think about exercise.
make that the priority.. and I assure you...
many of the food and fat issues will disappear on their own.

Blessings on you both.. and your pain...

[Nina Kay]

Welcome Killerbee,
That was a very touching post. I wish that I had some magic words to make all of your problems better. I think that what all bikewench had to say was right on. But by all means start with moderate exercise and work up. Be good to yourself. The times that I have done better was with exercise. Also journaling my food has helped a whole lot. Going to meetings and coming here to read and post is very helpful. It always works better if you do it with others who can truly understand what you are going through because they have been there or are still there working toward the same goal as you are. Keep coming back and reading and posting and find yourself a good meeting, so that you can have the personal support during the really tough times. We'll be here for you if you need us.

[Pony]

Welcome KillerBee, Glad to have you here. It is really great to have a male come on in and share with us here. For me, it helps me to know that it's not only females with food issues.

I am 41 yrs. old and about 150 lbs. or so overweight. I have been overweight most of my life....really beginning in my pre-teen yrs. and growing ever since. I am an emotional compulsive overeater. I have tried many different times in my life to lose weight and get to that pretty sexy slim look that everyone thinks is great, but have failed. I have been made fun of most of my life by strangers passing on the street as well as piers....the so called friends/classmates when I was young. I still get jeers and comments from ignorant strangers who see me walking or driving by.

It's great that your wife accepts you for you, my so called boyfriend can't stand to look at me and is embarressed to seen with me to the point that when we go to my daughter's soccer game, we go in separate cars and he doesn't sit anywhere near me. Most times he acts as if he doesn't even know me even when passing each other on the street in our cars.....we live in a small town. Please, I am not sharing this for simpathy or pity, just so you know that we all have pain, shame, and guilt associated with our eating dissorders. I, too, can relate to the embarressment of not being able to fit on amusment park rides. Been there too. But since I have been working on my food issues I have lost weight/inches and have since been able to go on some of those rides, which made my little one very happy.

Basically for me, I really started by coming here and being a part of the life and support around here. I started by getting out and walking. First laps around the local park and then worked up to going hiking. I also joined a gym, but it's not neccessary to do that if you can work out at home. I have also done that. I designed a cardio workout that could fit within my medical limits (I have asthma, back and knee trouble). Then I began working on the food. Starting out with the choices I make and working around to the portions.

Now I am just giving you an overview of what I did for me. It has been working when I truely work my program here.....I have been a little off track lately, but working to get back on.

Hope you come on back and work with us. It great to have as many people here supporting and sharing with each other.

[Killerbee]

thanks so much you all for your empowering words.. I have decided to go to my first meeting on Sunday afternoon it is a OEA meeting. I am kind of nervous but I am going to go for sure. I have also decided that starting Monday I am going to start making a conscious effort to start getting out of the house and walking the dog (she will love this) each night after work, and also I am going to try not so much to diet first but to portion control and not eat after 7pm. Im also going to try and swap my soda for water as much as I can make myself.

Thanks Much!

[Nina Kay]

It really sounds like you have a basic common sense plan. Sounds like a really good foundation to build on. Glad to hear that you are going to get started with some meetings. Let us know how it goes. Hope you'll keep coming back here and reading & posting too. Good Luck.