new here

Hi there!

I am new to this board and to the world of recovery from eating disorders. I belong to Al-anon and so I am familiar with the 12 steps and I am learning how to apply them to my life.

A bit about me. I am 31 years old, married since March and am pregnant. I have been pregnant 2x before but miscarried both so I could say my level of anxiety about this one is med-high. I am just starting my 3rd trimester and am due in Feb so things are goig well.

I have been battling my weight since I was 10. I started Weight Watchers then and lost 30 lbs, then gained it back, then went back years later, then gained it back...etc etc etc...
Presently, I can not "diet" because I am pregnant so I am allowing myself the cookies and the sweet and the chips etc etc etc...

I know the 12 steps work for all areas and would love to learn how to apply them to this area of my life. I am so tired of being obessesed with food...whether I am eating healthy or crappy....whether I am losing weight or gaining it...it is my main focus every day...I am "bad" or I am "good"...I would love to just be able to eat without worrying about it all the time!

anyways, i have rambled enough!
Thanks for listening

Clo

[Paulie]

Clo -

I would like to welcome you to the forum. You will find great friends here and a great source of support.

I am not really sure how to answer your question as I myself deal with the same struggle everyday. I am recoverying drug addict who is blessed to have 7 years clean and sober. Over the past 2 years I have gained 50lbs., I believe this is due to the fact that working of my program has slowly declined. this past weekend, I got a new sponsor (mine was unavailable) and am starting over again. I picked up food instead of drugs that past two years. I continued to help other people telling them what they should do for recovery (because i do know) but I stopped telling myself, I stopped using what I was taught.

Okay, I guess I have babbled enough. I just wanted to tell you that I have struggled my entire life with food, the summer before I started 7th greade (which was called Junior High back then) I starved, I was 13 and in less than 3 months i lost 35lbs. That realy started alot of obsessive behaviors for me.

The bottom line for me is relearning ways to always remember that I am worth more than my head tells me. Dealing with life on life terms. For the past two years when I am feeling sad, angry, happy, stressed (that is abig one) instead of drugs like I used to, I picked up food. I am working on that...if you are working the 12 steps with a sponsor, share your food issues with that person.

Keep posting here, we all love and care for each other and take life one day at a time.

God Bless!

[Pony]

Welcome Clo,

First I would like to congrat. you on your upcoming new addition. I currantly have two daughters that are expecting. One Dec. 24th and the other in early March. I also have a 6 mo. granddaughter, so babies have been and are going to be running rampid around here. I also have a 5 yr. old daughter who's almost ready to turn 6.

Food.......well I can understand what you're saying about food. Tired of thinking about what is good and not and why am I eating the whole tub of ice cream when I just ate dinner; or just tired of others watching everything I eat as if I'm not concerned enough about what I do. Tired of trying to make that extra effort to eat the right stuff......"why can't it just be automatic?" That's just some of my feelings and thoughts that go throught my days.

Well, my thoughts on the matter........Food is an addiction like any other drug/drink. The only thing about food is that we need it to live by. You can quit drugs and alcohol, but without food the body dies. The 12-step programs are really great in helping us get throught our days in search of better choices for our addictions. But to be fully in recovery you really need to get at why you choose to escape in the first place. Why you needed that type of comforting. And in the case of eating/food.....how to live with it in moderation.

Now I know it's hard to do while you're pregnant, but you can kind of get a start on retraining your habits. Being preg. is a good excuse (to yourself) to eat the heathlier choices. but don't beat yourself up for wanting that ooie gooie sweet something, because that's what pregnancy is typically about.

I know it's hard not to tell ourselves that we've been bad after having that sweet something or that second helping, but I thing it's important to remember that when a new day begins...so can we!! The more that you make the right choices to eat healthy it will become just another part of your daily routine.......and get that word "diet" out of the vocabulary.......everyone has a diet. It's your choice whether it is a good one or not.

Hey Pauline....loved your post also. I am right there with you, if you know what I mean. Let me tell you........ You are worth it and more. Your posts always make me think and take a look at myself in this stuff.

Have a great one.........

Pony