It goes so much deeper... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Paulie · 11-23-2002, 10:45 AM

Ya know guys, this eating thing goes so much deeper for me than just eating right and exercising, that truly is the easy part. It is part of the addiction/disorder that I have. I woke up this morning and for some reason I thought to myslef, 'you have been punishing yourself with food again'. I am going through a rocky time right now in certain areas of my life and so the old lack of self esteem kicks in and I punish myself by telling myself things like "i don't deserve what I have' or 'it won't last anyway' or whaterver the garbage self talk it.

I am not sure why I am sharing this, i guess just so if anyone else feels this way they will know that they are not alone. It is not about the food/exercise it is about working on believeing in my heart that I am worth it!!!! (part of my missions stmt. maybe) I don't feel that way all the time, but lately my emotions have been based on the emotions of the people around me, and that is way out of wack.

Okay enough from me, I just wanted to share this 'A-HA' moment with you. Thanks for listening.

vinnietoo · 11-23-2002, 11:05 AM

Pauline,

What a blessing it is when I get to see this stuff
BEFORE my life gets tied in knots!!!! I know I'm makeing
head way when I don't have to look back to see what has
happened to me but can see it in the now. It's
really greaT, not that it happens all the time but it
is sooooooo................much better.

Blessings To You,

Vince

Paulie · 11-24-2002, 09:08 AM

Vince -

If I wallow in the past, or wallow in 'poor me' I will continue to not take care of myself in a healthy way and I will continue to not exercise and I will continue to let others emotions dictate my emotions. That is not okay.

Is this the right forum for this conversation, I don't know...but I do know that it is the reasons above the make me feel bad about myself and in turn I do not treat my body in a healthy way...so as I said in my first post, it goes much deeper for me than just food and exercise...so hopefully this is the right forum for it.

Thanks again Vince.
I am stealing a line from a wise person on the SR boards -
NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES!!!!

vinnietoo · 11-24-2002, 09:30 AM

Pauline,

You said "I will continue to let other emotions dictate my emotions. That is not ok." For me, I just need to drop a word
in this statement. I will continue to let others dictate my emotions.
How often I do empower others..... And when I start the debate
with myself, disaster is around the corner.

Is this the right place for this? Beats me. Remember,
I'm the nut who posted over in the Women In Recovery.
I'm still learning, If it's the wrong spot the admins can move it.

Be good to yourself Today!!!!!

Blessings,
Vinnie

Paulie · 11-24-2002, 09:37 AM

OOOOOPPPPPSSSSS!!!

I forgot the word NOT!!!!!! - I meant to say - I will NOT continue to let others emotions dictate my emotions!!!! (I really need to proof read my posts:o )

LOL!! wow one word really changes that statement!!!

Thanks for listening Vince. I personally think it is the right forum, because it is the things that I am posting the fuel my eating disorder...hope someone else agrees, if not, oops again.

**Pony** · 11-25-2002, 11:48 PM

Pauline

This is definately the right place for you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here and anywhere else you want to be my friend. lol

Well, you all know that I am a firm believer in the fact that food and the behavior with it is an addiction. So post away because I always find something of comfort in what you say and feel. We can all tredge through this together.

Pony

Paulie · 11-27-2002, 11:53 AM

Thanks Pony!!!

It is a journey, and today I am willing to take it

God Bless and you know me, I will keep babbling, um uh I mean posting!!! LOL!!!

**Ann** · 11-27-2002, 07:41 PM

Pauline

When you speak, I have to check my lips. These are exactly my feelings too right now. I have no idea how I let myself slip down, well that's not true either...too busy to work my program!!!

Thank you for the reminder and for letting me know that I am not alone with my feelings.

And Vinnie - you are so sweet that if we could make you an "honorary woman" we would. If it makes you feel any better, when I first came here I accidently posted on the N/A board instead of nar-Anon...and I was NOT as welcome as you were in WIR

. I never made that mistake again. Poor N/A, they really were not in the mood for ME.

vinnietoo · 11-28-2002, 07:14 AM

Anns,

Hope that your Thanksgiving in Canada was a good one.
That was about a month ago or more wasn't it?
And thank you for the thought, "honorary woman."
I think!!!? lol But trust me on this one, better get
the offical "okey doe key" from Pauline. I only
say this cuz she has treated me with kindness,
and respect. Thanks Pauline! And I value her opinions.
As I do your's.

Blessings To You and Yours,

Vinnie

Paulie · 12-01-2002, 04:58 PM

Oh Vin - you are in!!!

even though you can't post on WIR - you are definately our 'honoary woman', and that is a GOOD thing LOL!!!

And Ann- thanks!!! you know what you mean to me, I hope!

Pony - You also mean alot to me. you are so patient with us here, and your honesty helps me so much. Not to mention your dedication to the gym!!! Boy do I admire that one!!!!

zoomer · 12-02-2002, 07:27 AM

Hey Vin, Vin ~~~~~~~~~`snicker~~~~~~~~~~! My best friend growing up was a guy. he knew more about being a girl than I did! I was a tom boy all the way! No he was not gay, he just loved woman so much that his female side shined through! I think he had an eating disorder too except it was that he never gained wieght! Use to make me sick! Poor guy was cursed with a very bad case of zits, he was small for a guy and well we were all poor. When we were 18 I went to beauty school and he went with me. He staid, I dropped out and he ended up working for the most exsclusive shop in B-hills and Newport! Ha, I use to get my hair done for free by him and all kinds of skin tips... There is nothing wrong with with getting along with girls!
Zoomer

11-23-2002, 10:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,785	It goes so much deeper... Ya know guys, this eating thing goes so much deeper for me than just eating right and exercising, that truly is the easy part. It is part of the addiction/disorder that I have. I woke up this morning and for some reason I thought to myslef, 'you have been punishing yourself with food again'. I am going through a rocky time right now in certain areas of my life and so the old lack of self esteem kicks in and I punish myself by telling myself things like "i don't deserve what I have' or 'it won't last anyway' or whaterver the garbage self talk it. I am not sure why I am sharing this, i guess just so if anyone else feels this way they will know that they are not alone. It is not about the food/exercise it is about working on believeing in my heart that I am worth it!!!! (part of my missions stmt. maybe) I don't feel that way all the time, but lately my emotions have been based on the emotions of the people around me, and that is way out of wack. Okay enough from me, I just wanted to share this 'A-HA' moment with you. Thanks for listening. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

11-23-2002, 11:05 AM	#2 (permalink)
vinnietoo Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: land of 10,000 lakes Posts: 214	Pauline, What a blessing it is when I get to see this stuff BEFORE my life gets tied in knots!!!! I know I'm makeing head way when I don't have to look back to see what has happened to me but can see it in the now. It's really greaT, not that it happens all the time but it is sooooooo................much better. Blessings To You, Vince __________________ Everything we know we have learned from someone else, including the stuff we claim credit for! It may be new to us but it's not new. It is never to late to discover what you like, even if you're old or young just pass it on.

11-24-2002, 09:08 AM	#3 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,785	Vince - If I wallow in the past, or wallow in 'poor me' I will continue to not take care of myself in a healthy way and I will continue to not exercise and I will continue to let others emotions dictate my emotions. That is not okay. Is this the right forum for this conversation, I don't know...but I do know that it is the reasons above the make me feel bad about myself and in turn I do not treat my body in a healthy way...so as I said in my first post, it goes much deeper for me than just food and exercise...so hopefully this is the right forum for it. Thanks again Vince. I am stealing a line from a wise person on the SR boards - NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES!!!! __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

11-24-2002, 09:30 AM	#4 (permalink)
vinnietoo Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: land of 10,000 lakes Posts: 214	Pauline, You said "I will continue to let other emotions dictate my emotions. That is not ok." For me, I just need to drop a word in this statement. I will continue to let others dictate my emotions. How often I do empower others..... And when I start the debate with myself, disaster is around the corner. Is this the right place for this? Beats me. Remember, I'm the nut who posted over in the Women In Recovery. I'm still learning, If it's the wrong spot the admins can move it. Be good to yourself Today!!!!! Blessings, Vinnie __________________ Everything we know we have learned from someone else, including the stuff we claim credit for! It may be new to us but it's not new. It is never to late to discover what you like, even if you're old or young just pass it on.

11-24-2002, 09:37 AM	#5 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,785	OOOOOPPPPPSSSSS!!! I forgot the word NOT!!!!!! - I meant to say - I will NOT continue to let others emotions dictate my emotions!!!! (I really need to proof read my posts:o ) LOL!! wow one word really changes that statement!!! Thanks for listening Vince. I personally think it is the right forum, because it is the things that I am posting the fuel my eating disorder...hope someone else agrees, if not, oops again. __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

11-25-2002, 11:48 PM	#6 (permalink)
Pony Forum Leader Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: trail of discovery Posts: 2,480	Pauline This is definately the right place for you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here and anywhere else you want to be my friend. lol Well, you all know that I am a firm believer in the fact that food and the behavior with it is an addiction. So post away because I always find something of comfort in what you say and feel. We can all tredge through this together. Pony

11-27-2002, 11:53 AM	#7 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,785	Thanks Pony!!! It is a journey, and today I am willing to take it God Bless and you know me, I will keep babbling, um uh I mean posting!!! LOL!!! __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

11-27-2002, 07:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
Ann Forum Leader Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: By The Lake Posts: 25,227	Pauline When you speak, I have to check my lips. These are exactly my feelings too right now. I have no idea how I let myself slip down, well that's not true either...too busy to work my program!!! Thank you for the reminder and for letting me know that I am not alone with my feelings. And Vinnie - you are so sweet that if we could make you an "honorary woman" we would. If it makes you feel any better, when I first came here I accidently posted on the N/A board instead of nar-Anon...and I was NOT as welcome as you were in WIR . I never made that mistake again. Poor N/A, they really were not in the mood for ME. __________________ “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” ~Winnie the Pooh~

11-28-2002, 07:14 AM	#9 (permalink)
vinnietoo Member Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: land of 10,000 lakes Posts: 214	Anns, Hope that your Thanksgiving in Canada was a good one. That was about a month ago or more wasn't it? And thank you for the thought, "honorary woman." I think!!!? lol But trust me on this one, better get the offical "okey doe key" from Pauline. I only say this cuz she has treated me with kindness, and respect. Thanks Pauline! And I value her opinions. As I do your's. Blessings To You and Yours, Vinnie __________________ Everything we know we have learned from someone else, including the stuff we claim credit for! It may be new to us but it's not new. It is never to late to discover what you like, even if you're old or young just pass it on.

12-01-2002, 04:58 PM	#10 (permalink)
Paulie It is what it is!!! Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Sobriety Posts: 5,785	Oh Vin - you are in!!! even though you can't post on WIR - you are definately our 'honoary woman', and that is a GOOD thing LOL!!! And Ann- thanks!!! you know what you mean to me, I hope! Pony - You also mean alot to me. you are so patient with us here, and your honesty helps me so much. Not to mention your dedication to the gym!!! Boy do I admire that one!!!! __________________ I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I'll know tomorrow. Today, Ill learn something new~JFT, 1/27/06 The difference between a good day and a bad day, is about 2 days~Ann of SR

12-02-2002, 07:27 AM	#11 (permalink)
zoomer Gold Member Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: It's raining again! Posts: 2,495	Hey Vin, Vin ~~~~~~~~~`snicker~~~~~~~~~~! My best friend growing up was a guy. he knew more about being a girl than I did! I was a tom boy all the way! No he was not gay, he just loved woman so much that his female side shined through! I think he had an eating disorder too except it was that he never gained wieght! Use to make me sick! Poor guy was cursed with a very bad case of zits, he was small for a guy and well we were all poor. When we were 18 I went to beauty school and he went with me. He staid, I dropped out and he ended up working for the most exsclusive shop in B-hills and Newport! Ha, I use to get my hair done for free by him and all kinds of skin tips... There is nothing wrong with with getting along with girls! Zoomer

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