Unsure how to help - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Raistlin · 08-25-2005, 02:57 PM

I am a recovering addict with almost eighteen months clean. My girlfriend is also a recovering addict, coming up on one year. She also suffers from an eating disorder, namely anorexia and bulemia, which she still struggles with regularly. Although I can understand some things about her struggles, as they relate to addiction, I know that there are a lot of things I dont understand about what she is going through. I dont pretend to understand, yet I dont know how best to help her.
I love her and I dont want to see her hurt herself anymore.
Any information anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated.
THank you,
Raistlin

bikewench · 08-25-2005, 03:34 PM

Hey Raistlin..

Blessings on you for trying to understand her disease...

I have the disorder of bulimia with periods of anorexia in my past.. started when I was a teen...

It's a complicated addiction as one has to eat... so...
for me... it was one bite over the line and I would be compelled to purge..
it was an all consuming thought and I would go to any lengths to complete the cycle..

It's a very isolating disease... as one tends to eat huge amounts of food.. and this is looked at askance by anyone that is around the addict...

It's a life threatening illness... as one's electolytes can become so completly skewed as to stop ones' heart or other vital body functions...

This is a good site for information..
http://www.priory-hospital.co.uk/htm/bulimi.htm

Blessings on your clean time eh.. ;o)

ChildlikeFaith · 08-25-2005, 04:14 PM

Hi Raistlin,
I'm currently suffering from Anorexia. I am not bulemic, but have purged on one or two occasions. My husband is an Alcoholic.

I can tell you quite honestly that what helped me the most was when my husband realized that it isn't about the food, and trying to force someone to eat won't help them to get better. Most of all, just be supportive and be there for her. Don't threaten or dwell on it too much because it can make things worse. I pray she'll get some help because it is a very deadly illness.

Raistlin · 08-30-2005, 06:41 PM

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Things arent good between us right now. I still think about her and worry a lot. I pray for her daily but am still at a loss as to what I can do.

pedagogue · 08-30-2005, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChildlikeFaith

I can tell you quite honestly that what helped me the most was when my husband realized that it isn't about the food...

I wanted to make sure this was pointed out. Food is simply the vehicle used to express a deeper problem.

-pedagogue

08-25-2005, 02:57 PM	#1 (permalink)
Raistlin Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bethlehem, Pa Posts: 5	Unsure how to help I am a recovering addict with almost eighteen months clean. My girlfriend is also a recovering addict, coming up on one year. She also suffers from an eating disorder, namely anorexia and bulemia, which she still struggles with regularly. Although I can understand some things about her struggles, as they relate to addiction, I know that there are a lot of things I dont understand about what she is going through. I dont pretend to understand, yet I dont know how best to help her. I love her and I dont want to see her hurt herself anymore. Any information anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated. THank you, Raistlin

08-25-2005, 04:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
ChildlikeFaith Holding The Father's Hand Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Oregon Posts: 96	Hi Raistlin, I'm currently suffering from Anorexia. I am not bulemic, but have purged on one or two occasions. My husband is an Alcoholic. I can tell you quite honestly that what helped me the most was when my husband realized that it isn't about the food, and trying to force someone to eat won't help them to get better. Most of all, just be supportive and be there for her. Don't threaten or dwell on it too much because it can make things worse. I pray she'll get some help because it is a very deadly illness. __________________ *Melissa :Wshade* Resentment and unforgiveness are poisons that we drink then expect someone else to die.

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08-25-2005, 03:34 PM	#2 (permalink)
bikewench Member Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: western canada Posts: 1,441	Hey Raistlin.. Blessings on you for trying to understand her disease... I have the disorder of bulimia with periods of anorexia in my past.. started when I was a teen... It's a complicated addiction as one has to eat... so... for me... it was one bite over the line and I would be compelled to purge.. it was an all consuming thought and I would go to any lengths to complete the cycle.. It's a very isolating disease... as one tends to eat huge amounts of food.. and this is looked at askance by anyone that is around the addict... It's a life threatening illness... as one's electolytes can become so completly skewed as to stop ones' heart or other vital body functions... This is a good site for information.. http://www.priory-hospital.co.uk/htm/bulimi.htm Blessings on your clean time eh.. ;o)

08-30-2005, 06:41 PM	#4 (permalink)
Raistlin Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Bethlehem, Pa Posts: 5	Thank you for taking the time to reply. Things arent good between us right now. I still think about her and worry a lot. I pray for her daily but am still at a loss as to what I can do.

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