Hi - New to forum

[star911960]

Hi everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself.

Hi all. I'm Lori, and I am a COE. I am powerless over food. My
life has become unmanageable.

I have been gone from OA for 15 years. I just went to my first f2f meeting last Saturday since those many 15 years ago. I tried to go to another f2f tonight, but no-one was there.

So here I am, trying to do what I'm supposed to, and trying to get my thoughts out because I know that sharing is a very important element.

I was in denial when I went to those meetings 15 years ago. I would look and listen to those around me and say to myself, "I'm not that bad." Things happened in my life and I drifted away from the meetings. It was easy since I was still in denial. Things have not gotten better, they've gotten worse in many ways. I'm just as overweight and I'm much more unhealthy.

I have suffered from depression most of my adult life. So was it the depression that caused me to isolate or was it my addiction? Was it my addiction that caused the depression? Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Does it really matter?

I have a horrible addiction to sugar and bread that dates back to my early childhood. As a child it never affected my weight so it was easy for both my parents and myself to ignore. I truly go into withdrawal when I have taken myself off of sugar. And it's always only lasted so long.

As I grew into my adulthood (I'm now 44), I just got heavier and
heavier. To my benefit (maybe not), I have maintained the same
weight for the last 10 years with a few bouts of losing some of it and gaining it right back.

I know now that I have truly taken step 1. I've found some reading and really want to think about it, meditate on it, and write about it before progressing on to step 2. Fifteen years ago, I raced through steps 1, 2 & 3 like nothing flat. Looking back, I know I was fooling myself. So this time I want to tread slowly.

So now I've completed "Part 1" of step 1 . I've come out to you
all which is a step in itself since it's been much easier to just
lurk around.

So thanks for listening.

Signing off,

Lori

[KelKel]

Hi Lori
Welcome to SR.
I think you are going to like it here.
Other's will be along soon and you will realize that you are not alone in your struggles... we are all here because we struggle with one thing or another or a mix of things....

Kellie

[Pony]

Welcome Lori,

It is very nice to have you here. Feel free to share whatever and whenever. That is what we are all here for. We all have some form of addiction and/or eating disorder that we are struggling with so you are not alone.

I am Pony, I am a compulsive overeater. I eat from emotions, boredom....you name it, I probably have an excuse to hit the kitchen on a food adventure. I have been seriously dealing with my food issues for the last ....well, almost 4 yrs. In the last 2 yrs. I have seen results of my efforts. I have gone down 2 sizes. I know that doesn't seem like much, but it is when you have been battling it your whole life like I have.

From the support I have received here I have gotten stronger with in myself and have made that progress to get healthier.

I hope that you will find it comfortable around here and join our little family.

[Nina Kay]

Hi Lori,
Welcome to SR & particularly the Eating Disorder Forum. I'm glad that you are seriously working the steps. I really need to focus on each step like you said that you are. I too, have suffered from depression since I was in my early teens, as long as I have had an eating disorder. I think that they are both individual problems that really do feed off of each other to make our problems doubly hard to fight. I am a food addict & compulsive overeater. I haven't been to OA meetings very often, as I don't live close to any, but when I did go, I really made progress in my recovery. We are in the process of finding a place to move to that will be close to the meetings & my plan is to be very regular in my attendance. Until then I'm coming to this forum & another & going to online meetings & journaling my food & drink every day. I sure am glad that this program is based on one day at a time & progress, not perfection. Please, keep coming back. We need each other here to share our experience, strength, & hope. Hop to see you here again soon. {{{{{Supportive Hugs}}}}}