Newbie

[waterlily]

Hi all, I just joined here because there isn't an OA group nearby. So far, I've ordered alot of reading for myself, but I'd like to ask about how "sobriety" and "abstinence" relate to food issues. What does abstinence look like or feel like - since you have to eat? Right now I am journaling so that I can catch some of my thoughts and habits.

About me; I'm an ACOA and have a husband who is 2 1/2 years sober. Let's say, there have been many other issues besides food!

[Paulie]

Hi and welcome glad you found us.

Abstinence and food issues, well I don't think that is possible since we have to eat to survive. That is what makes food issues, at least for me so difficult.

I am an addict in recovery, I can use food the same way that I used drugs, as a way to self medicate myself, to comfort myself, to fill a void, or relieve pain that I am in, lots of different ways. The drugs today I would have to make an effort to go get, food is in the kitchen. So I work on myself and my program everyday around not just my issues with drugs and drinking, but with codependency, food, everything, it is all the same to me, it is about me and how I feel about me in my own skin.

I don't know if that helps at all. Stick around, more will come soon and share their experience with you.

[Pony]

Welcome Waterlily,

Abstinence as far as food issues basically relates to triggers.....foods that trigger, actions that trigger. Compulsive overeating or emotional eating is what the OA program uses abstinence from. Like abstaining from taking that one more bite of food when you know that you have had enough. Not going to the frig. just to gobble something down because you are feeling emotions that you can't or don't want to deal with. Not eating the type of foods that are unheathly or harmful to your goals or body. Does this help? I do post a daily meditation from the Food for Thought book....I know that many of the meditations talk about abstinence in reguards to our food plan and our goals. I will see if I can locate one and post it again for you.....might be able to explain it better than I.

Glad you have join us here and hope you will stick around and post and let us get to know you.

[Pony]

Abstain or Overeat

For the compulsive overeater, there is always one primary choice to be made. Will I abstain or will I overeat? For us, there is nothing in between. If we have hundreds of pounds to lose or if we have reached and are maintaining our goal weight, the choice is still the same. It is the key decision we make many, many times each day.

We are free at each moment to choose which we will do. There is no magic which will make us abstain, and there is no force which can compel us to swallow food we do not need. The choice is ours alone.

No one graduates from OA. There is no point at which one can say, "This is it. I've got it made now." We are always aware of the fact that we are compulsive overeaters and are always one bite away from a binge. When we remember that abstaining or overeating is our primary choice, then other decisions become easier. To abstain is to choose life. To overeat is to choose death.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

May I maintain constant awareness of my primary choice.



Waterlily, Hope this one will help answer some of your questions. If not I have more!! lol

[Birddog]

Hello Waterlilly,
I am an AA member and I have found that by applying the same things that keep me sober to my food intake that I now have control over my physical health and weight.
These things are:
1) I break my life down to manageable 24 hour periods, I get a new start in life every morning. I start each day remembering that I have a program.
2) When it all seems to be too much for me to see the forest because of the trees, I slow down and ask my higher power for clarity and guidance.
3) I recognize "stinkin thinkin" for what it is, my compulsive side trying to take over again.
I don't attend OA meetings but I read OA websites and forums.
Since last December I have gone down from 235lbs to 180lbs, thats 55 lbs I have lost and I don't go hungry.
And I'm happily sober, stick with the winners, keep the 12 steps alive in your daily life, educate yourself on proper nutrition and exercise and you will accomplish your goal.

One other thing, stay away from the Atkins diet, its dangerous and bound to fail in the long run.


BD

[waterlily]

Thanks, all. Right now, that one day at a time philosophy is helping me. What I've realized over the past few months is that I know about nutrition, calories, etc., but that I have a really "fat head".

There seem to be alot of weeds up there that need to be pulled!!

Got my first book in the mail today......

[Birddog]

Remember, "brown is beautiful" whole wheat, whole grain cereals and bread.
No white bread or rice.
Lean meats eaten in moderation with no sauces or cheese.
All the veggies you can eat, easy on the salt, no butter.
And start walking once in the morning for 30 min and once in the evening for 30 min. EVERY SINGLE DAY!

[waterlily]

I love to exercise, but it seems as if I overdo that as well. It's kind of weird. What I really want is to not have this issue in my life taking up my energy and attention - by that I mean worrying about it, not the type of attention to abstinence that you are talking about .

The body image thing has been a constant problem. I realize that I have always thought I was fat, when I weighed 125, 135, 150, etc! (gee, maybe because people told me that constantly!)

Working on acceptance in my Al-anon recovery and in this one. I don't want to spend my life looking for the latest diet that takes up my time with how complicated the cooking and shopping is. AAAAArgh!


I quit! I give up! I surrender! It's a problem that won't be solved by a new wacky diet or working out in the gym until my knees hurt.

[nakonc]

Hi Waterlily,

I am also new at this food abstinence thing so I did a little research.

I found this on abstinence:

"Food for Thought - Daily meditations:

JANUARY 4



Three Meals a Day

For most of us, abstinence from compulsive overeating means three measured meals a day with nothing in between. Before we joined OA we often ate one enormous meal, all day long. Through this program, we find the discipline to eat according to our needs rather than our self-destructive cravings.

Unless a doctor has told us differently, we do not need more than three meals a day. As we practice this pattern, we retrain our overgrown appetites and learn to function in the real world. We can eat with our families instead of secretly snacking and bingeing.

We plan our three meals for the day, write them down, and report them to our food sponsor. Then, instead of nibbling here and there and thinking about food all day, we can forget about eating except when it is time for a planned, measured meal. As we acquire disciplined eating habits, we find that other areas of our lives become more ordered and productive. Freed from the bondage of self-will and impulse, we are guided by the sure hand of our Higher Power.

I am grateful for the order and sanity OA has brought into my life."


Interesting concept. I will definitely try it out; maybe even check out our local OA. I have already been attending Al-Anon for the past 5 years.

[Pony]

Waterlily, I do hope that you have not given up! I am sorry that I didn't see your last post until this morning here while posting the "Food for thought- Med."

I understand what you are saying. I get to feeling that way many times. But I'll tell you what helps me is to not think of this plan of mine as a diet. I really hate that word and it usually makes me do stupid stuff that are destructive to my goals. I just made a plan to change my eating habits to healthier food and incorporate an excerise program for the health benefits. Since I have, I feel better inside and out. It just becomes a natural part of your day the longer you stick with it. Changing habits isn't easy and takes time and effort, but well worth it as it just becomes a part of your lifestyle. Working on the emotional issues through your alanon program will help with this part of your life as well.

Please don't give up......we are here to help

[KelKel]

Hi Waterlily...
The word "diet" has evolved into a very unhealthy idea of what our eating habits are.

Finding a program that works for you for the rest of your life and following that plan is what people in general need to practice.

Our culture has turned that word into a sick roller coaster of fad's.

i am so glad you are here and hope you will stick around.

my name is Kel, I deal mostly with my alcohol addiction gere at SR.
But I did have a nasty bout with bulemia when I was a teenager.
So I do understand the craziness.