In recovery

[bubblze30]

I am in recoveery from drugs and alcohol. Only to find that I may have an eating disorder as well. I eat sweets and lots of them for a while not even thinking I would eat a whole bag of oreos. SICK I know. I have started yesterday to buy and eat better foods. Not a diet cause I will fail but just eating better fruits instead of cookies no more cakes and ice cream unless its a bday party where cake and ice dream are meant to eat not a half gallon in three days. I hurt my back had two surgeries which left me less mobile so the weight has added up and I am sick of it. I dont want to be fat anymore. I am writing for support and also to tell on myself so that I stick to eating better.
Thank you for listening to me. I plan on quitting smoking at the end of the month too so I want to get used to eating less and better so I dont substitute when I quit. Will be in here every day to post my progress each day as I do with my recovery.
I had rice cakes and fruit and also ham and cheese rolled up with out the bread two slices of meat and two cheese. Seem satisfied. I must watch the night comes and thats when I want to eat all the time.

[Paulie]

bubblze -

So glad you joined us. That is exactly what is happening here, we are supporting each other in learning to eat healthier. Some do it low carb, some low fat, some low cal some all of the above LOL. But the point is we are trying. Don't forget to drink your water, that is very important, Pony reminds us of that often!!!

[dotcom]

you will rock on bubblz! your an inspiration!

[Pony]

bubblze.....glad to have you aboard here. Paulie is right, that is what we are all here for, support and ideas........caring, sharing, hope!

And about that water.........LOL...you got that right. But I so miss my little water smilely.....he always reminded me to drink my water!!!

It is important to get that water into your daily plans because it truely helps flush out your system of all that junk running throught it. I do notice a difference in how I feel....how my body feels when I drink lots and lots of water....other then having to run for the restroom.

Food plans: Well I am a big advocate for healthy eating vs. dieting. Healthy eating is a life changing process that will produce a longer lasting results that is more likely to maintain rather then dieting which can be short lived and risk then chance of gaining it all back again.

Bubblze, will be looking forward to you posting daily.....that can also help keep my accountable also.

hugs

[bubblze30]

Hi all I am here at day two. I am writing everything I put in my mouth down on paper. I messed up a little with dam hagen daz ice cream and am beating my self up only a little though it will take me some time to learn how to say no to food but I am giving it a shot. I had a omlette no yols with ham this morning only 1 egg and 2 rice cakes I am now nursing a bottle of perrier water love the bubblze.LOL.
My problem is the evening I get to watching tv at night then get the h8ungry horrors. Before I know it I am eating cereal and junk and more junk. Then I beat myself up. So the night thing is one of my bigger conquers.I also plan to walk today a small 20 min walk with my daughter. She is encouraging. I will be in tommorow to let you know my progress. I remember last yr I tried the diet thing and was posting and when I fell off the wagon I stopped coming in here.I had to write that to tell on myself so I dont do it again. Have a good day ladies.

[Pony]

Bubblze...it takes time to get onto a new routine......just keep going and it will become nature.

As for the night eating. You don't really have to cut it out. You can have ready more healthier choices. Anything from the veggie group....yogurt.....unbuttered popcorn.....and there is fat free pretzles that have helped me. And.........lots and lots and lots of.........WATER !!!!!!! LOL it really can fill you up!

[bubblze30]

So on too today. I had rice cakes this morning, and WATER. I had a ham and cheese sanwhich on wheat not white and low fat cheese, and WATER. I am doing well as I said the night is the beast for me. Last night I did well with only 1 serving ice cream and an apple so far so good.

[Pony]

Doing great Bubblze ! Keep it up!

[smoke gets in my eyes]

Yay Bubblze!!!

[bubblze30]

The damn night I hate it. I ate 2 little debbie cakes and cantelope and a strawberry shortcake ice cream bar. What is wrong with me. I dont want to be a fat slop but I eat like one. When will it end when its to late. It's mpt healthy I know I just wish after supper I can end it there but thats where the trouble begins. I am ratting on myself because I don't want to continue on this distructive path. Does anyone notice when they want to eat better they tend to eat more. I noticed it with last night before I comitted to eating better I never ate all that I atew junk but not all that now I am eating more.
Today I had an apple A large bottle of water three pices of hame wrapped with low fat ch. and thats all so far.Night is but five hours away I dread night oh please dont come. Any suggestions to stop the nightly hungry horrors?

[smoke gets in my eyes]

Hi Bubblze.

Can you just not have that stuff in the house? If you need to have a sweet snack, I recommend the slimfast icecream things and cookiebars with all my heart. They are packed with vitamins and stuff so it's not evil. I was craving little debbies last nite myself. Then I looked at the calorie content. The one I wanted had 500 calories. For me that's a whole meal. I had a glass of water and stocked up on the slimfast goodies today. There are lots of other diet snacky things out there too. Ann eats some kind of lowcarb bar she likes. I expect she'll be along shortly.

Hang in there! Hugs!

[Paulie]

Bubblze -

I know it is hard. I live with people who like to snack. I am always buying Little Debbie, ice cream, cookies, muscle pie (in my house that is what fattening pies like chocolate cream are called) and stuff like that. It makes is really hard, I can't stop buying snacks for my family, even though I think they should eat fruit like me, can't do it. So it makes it harder for us.

The most important thing is not to beat yourself up and then punish yourself by saying screw it and eating more. And like smoke said have some lower fat/calorie/carb watever snacks for you in the house. That is what I try and do. Like right now, my SO loves ice cream, I buy him Tin Roof and I buy me either Skinny Cow or those whole fruit Dole bars or something like that, so if I want something I won't feel so deprived.

Always remember, as Pony says, every sunrise starts a new day.

[Pony]

bubblze, The worst thing you can do is beat yourself up over that. Ok, so you slipped, that doesn't make you a slop!

I can only tell you what has been working for me. Now mind you I occasionally slip up on the being positive thinking, like everyone else. Basically I don't think of my losing weight program as a diet. I think of it as a life style change in my easting habits to feel healthier. I know that certain foods will help me attain that and others will not. Now and again I will allow myself to have something that I have been staying away from, but only if I really want it. It takes time and practice. No one is great right off at anything....playing sports, music, or knitting....or sewing....or anything. Everything takes time to learn and then practice in technique or habit as the case may be. In our case we are changing our habits.....those life long things that we have depended on to get us by .... we are trying to change. It does happen with perserverance.....that I am not going to quit attitude! Also having a good support system around you can be a lifesaver.
Now as for the food in your house. I know it was mentioned above...but is there a way to keep that snacky stuff our of the house. It is more than ok to snack.....it's just what you choose to snack on that makes the difference. If the junk stuff wasn't with in reach and the good stuff was, would you be more inclined to go for that? Also if you are still finding yourself still hungry after your dinner.....maybe you need to take a look at what you are eating (then and through the day) If you are not feeding your body enough....it will crave more. I know that may sound crazy, but there are too many misconceptions about losing weight. Too many people think that they have to starve themselves.....quit eating...in order to lose weight. That is wrong thinking. If you do not feel your body what it needs it will crave it. If you ignor it...then your body goes into, what is called "survival mode" where it starts to store up fat cells and stuff in order to survive.....because it thinks it is starving and it wants to survive. It all part of nature, especially for a woman...because that's the way we are made. Because of woman being the child bearers it's nature's way of protecting the female and child. So we have to work at it harder than a man.

Sorry if this got long, but I hope some of this was helpful. Just keep coming back here and talking to us...we get through it together. You are not alone.

[bubblze30]

Thats my problem having them in the house. I did great last night why you ask? The damn cubboards are bare. I mean geez cant I have control over this. I know I cant control my using. It pains me to think The only time I eat right is when the cubboards are bare. I bought the right stuff an what do I do I live accross the street from a small store and just buy stuff there. I am so sick discusted at my behavior. I only east right when I have no money and the cubboards are bare. I dont like my body I want to lose weight. I just dont do it why? God please help me to accept the things I can not change and the courage to change the things I can.

HELP

[bubblze30]

I am having a very hard time with this. I am so glad there is this room I can be honest in and vent. I want to be rid of these addictive thoughts. I choose to eat right and before you know it I am eating ice cream.
Last night I did OK. I ate a sencable supper then had a pear and later had a bowl of cereal which is alot better then my usually. Hoping I do even better today we will see. Thanks for being here S.R. and friends you all are here and have saved my life in ways you will never know. wheather my addiction to drugs alcohol nicotine food. Damn this is such a great site. I feel I can be honest in and share no matter what. Thank you HP for putting SR in my life.

[Pony]

Bubblze......Yes, this is a place you can be honest. Through honesty not only with us, but yourself (which is much more improtant) recovery can begin and grow into a life change. It's great to have you here and sharing with us, because it helps all of us together.

ONe of my biggest problems is eating schedule. I have an erratic work schedule so eating times vary and sometimes get skipped. That's not good either because then I get home and I am starved....so I eat, but then it's too early in the evening....and I get hungry before bed.....and really rightly so because my body is thrown off. then I want anything and everything I can get my hands on.....

So, you see you are not alone. It just takes practice.....as I tell my daughter. You keep doing it--working it, until it becomes habit. a good habit.!!

[bubblze30]

I did Ok last night had a pear and a bowl of cereal before bed. Which is not as bad as usuall. If I can just stop eating at night I would have some serenity. The night really bothers me. I am thinking maybe take a walk at night before bed to get me out of the house and moving a little. I need to do something. Well I will be back tomorrow all for an update.

[bubblze30]

Hi ev1. I have had a great but painful weekend. I went out everyday and walked with my daughter. Went shopping and enjoyed the weather. I feel so good to have gotten out instead of being stuck in the house eating. If I keep up the exersize part even if its just a small walk it will help me with my eating habits as well. Also I am a true lover of fruit so that is helping me with the sweet tooth. Hope everyone had a great memorial weekend.

[smoke gets in my eyes]

Good going Bubblze! The pain gets easier. I want one of those pedometer things. I think we should all get one. Then we can compare like we do with glasses of water. LOL

[Pony]

Good going Bubblze.......getting out is great!!


Smoke....what a wonderful idea!!! I am going to look for one......if it's within a bidget I will get it. I have thought about it before to see just how much I do go in a day. I am hardly ever still!

[smoke gets in my eyes]

You can get a free one from McDonalds in one of their new healthy happy meals.

[Pony]

I wonder if those really work....but it would be worth a try! Just seems like a really cheap way to get one.....but if it works good.....I going to get one!!!!

[bubblze30]

As painful as it is. I walked again yeaterday. Also I have to go to my daughters school to sign her up for summer program. This gives me another reason to get out today. This little walking here in there will pay off I just know it. I seem to give up after a while and stop. I must stick to it even if its jusst a thirty minute walk.
The ice cream is still being a problem in my life. I have been eating alot of fresh fruit lately but still have the ice cream horrors. I am thinking of maybe sherbert or low fat. the taste difference alone will detour me away from it.LOL. Trying to teach my daughter a healthy eating life style. She is by no means fat she is very normalk weight, however alot of the other kids a rail thin so they call her fat. I just tell her she is not but if she is concerd about it the best thing to do is eat less sweets and exersize. She loves jump roping so shes been doing more of that lately. The children are so harsh and critical now adays. It pains me to see her get upset about it. All I can do is be there for her and help her by eating right myself.

[Pony]

Bubblze, Your walking will pay off. Just do some each day and before you know it...it will be just routine. If the icecream is a problem for now.....just get the least damaging kind. Healthy Choice puts out a wonderful tasting kind. The Smart Ones are pretty tasty too. I don't notice any difference in taste in thes kind.......I am pretty picky when it comes to diet foods. But there is so many varieties out there now that you can make it easier on yourself.....there is the carb smart ones.....and Skinny Cow...lots to choose from. Once you start yourself on some of these maybe you'll feel better about your choices.

Just take it one step at a time....one day at a time !!

[smoke gets in my eyes]

I keep saying this. I don't work for slimfast. Really. Their ice cream sandwiches are fabulous... low calorie ... and have lots of vitamins. It's not even cheating.