still struggling with ANA

[mxchaos]

but recovery in all other area's is going good. I never would have thought life could be so chaotic and good. Now if I could add eating healthy to my list of things to help I'd be a happy camper.

[Chamabama]

I'm sorry you're struggling! Have you talked to your team?

I thought I pretty much had a handle on the ed, but realize now that I simply substituted drinking. Now that I quit drinking, the ed voice is getting a grip around my neck. Seems I just keep substituting one crappy coping mechanism for another.

I'm trying very hard to make all my meals and snacks but I've been dropping them bit by bit. And I'm very ambivilant about telling my therapist. Part of me wants to fall back. But I know that is the crazy ed voice. I need to stop this in its tracks.

What are you going to do or doing to stop?

My best!

[mxchaos]

My tdoc and gp have me under their thumb and I email them daily with a food journal and feelings. when they feel I'm slipping further they reply with a kick int the ass to get me back on track. I'm not in any danger zone yet and hopefully I can maintain.

those crazy ED voices and mirrors are hard to get rid off good luck

[mxchaos]

still struggling with this

[SugarScars]

Honey, I'm so sorry to hear that you're still struggling with your eating disorder. Like Chama, I, too, substituted alcohol and then drugs for my eating disorder, after first substituting a different eating disorder to avoid detection by my family and team of doctors.

You can learn to love yourself and stand up for yourself, and to do the right thing, despite the many obstacles that will present themselves. When I suffered from Anorexia, I was unaware of the fact that I was trying to cope with an ever-increasingly uncertain future. I'd just left middle school to go to high school and I both wanted so desperately to be independent, yet was terrified of having to take care of myself. All at once. It was so confusing.

Like I said, I was hardly aware of any of these fears. They were like undercurrents to my thoughts more than anything else.

It scares me now to think of how I nearly killed myself at age 14 by starving and exercising my way down to practically nothing but bones. Sick! I feel sympathy for MYSELF now. I don't need others' sympathy. I, myself, feel compassion for me.

It's been a long road to get to where I am today. It has not been easy.

What are you doing as far as spirituality is concerned? Are you taking trips into nature? Reading philosophy?

Anything that you can do to feed your mind and soul is good. Until we nourish our minds, we will not choose to nourish our bodies.

My heart goes out to you and I wish you the very best.

Love,
Sugar

[mxchaos]

I don't know how much of the things I do have to do with spirituality but I train in Tae Kwon Do and meditation and dabble with Wicca.

when my mood drops my eating goes with it. about the only good thing right now is that it's fresh berry season along with cukes and tomatoes.

[Nina Kay]

Mx, I'm happy to hear that you are doing well in other areas of your life and maybe the ana will be next for you to recover from. I'm sorry that you're struggling so. I am glad that you keep coming back here to SR as often as you can. Never give up and it all will improve. I am sure of that.

[Nina Kay]

Welcome Chamabama & SugarScars. I don't remember meeting either of you before. I'm sorry if you've been here before and I was unavailable to properly welcome you. I really appreciated getting to read your posts. It helps so much to hear the experiences of others dealing with Eating Disorders too. I hope that you'll both come back to share more often.