Anxiety from reading the board!

[bluepolarbear]

I am shaking at the mere thought of not binge eating. I've lost weight before - 90 pounds between 2004 and 2007 - from eating healthily and working out.

Now, I'm trying to cut out the alcohol and pills (something I didn't have a real problem with back then - I wasn't using pills at all) and instead have been eating so much I've been having dreadful feelings that I'm going to die because of how much I've been eating (not suicidal thoughts - like, I just think that I'm going to explode or something silly like that).

My friend sent me a link to this board for alcohol/drug support and when I stumbled onto the eating disorder board I started getting all weird and shaky. The thought of not eating is freaking me the f out.

I get bursts of energy where I want to exercise and start getting on the right track for weight loss and my health (I know deep down I can do it), but I feel like every time I get good thoughts into my head, I sabotage myself and start eating again.

Sorry this is a very long first post, but do you have any advice on where to go from here? The first step is hardest, I know, but I don't remember alcohol being this hard to deal with. Ugh. Help if you can.

And hi, by the way. Thanks.

[roxiestone]

Welcome!

I think the conventional wisdom is to tackle the things in the order in which they will kill you. Alcohol and pills first, then the food issues.

Welcome to the boards and please come back and let us know more about you!

Peace.

Roxie

[adore79]

hello and welcome polarbear! Do you have any support system for quitting alcohol, like AA? Having people to talk to is a great thing. Also, you might look into going to overeaters anonymous. Good luck and let us know how you are doing. The important thing: breath! its going to be ok

[bluepolarbear]

There are loads of AA meetings in Chicago, but I just moved to the burbs and keep procrastinating when it comes to making/keeping AA friends. And OA meetings are even harder to find. (excuses, excuses!)

I managed to keep busy today and didn't overeat to the usual excess. It's funny... I'm totally happy being alone on a Friday night. I don't feel friendless or anything like that, but then I start reading Twitter and FB and see what my "friends" are up to, then I start feeling like I should be out doing something. Eating out, drinking, partying, etc.

If my AA friends saw this... oh boy... the first thing they'd say is "GET TO A MEETING!"

Thank you for responding. And for the reminder to BREATHE! I always seem to forget that one - thank God for involuntary reflexes, huh?

[Rowan]

Good to see you, BPB. Welcome to the boards!