Plan

[Astro]

Welcome girl, sounds like you've got a good plan in place and you've found a great site for support!

[Nina Kay]

I am terrible about not eating a proper breakfast, you have inspired me to get out that oatmeal I bought!

Hi Live. I'm so glad that you're joining in here. You've made me crave some oatmeal, so I plan on having some of it in the morning for my breakfast. Did you eat some this morning?

I'm really not making much progress yet, except I'm not eating any Breakfast or first meal of the day, without thinking about what I'm going to eat and how much. It's been 12 days now since I've been doing this and I still so far, have not compulsively overeaten my Breakfast and I'm trying to make choices that are smarter than I used to. It's a start in the right direction anyway.
I didn't take my vitamins & calcium today. I forgot. Just trying to be honest here. I remembered tonight at supper, but I didn't want to take them because that would throw me off from taking them tomorrow morning, as that would be too close together.
I did get quite a bit of fresh air & sunshine today. I just craved the outdoors, so I just had my coffee this morning outside and made my phone calls outside and did some jotting things down on paper outside. I opened up my windows & doors to let it come in too. It did make me feel a whole lot healthier.
Still not doing good with the sleeping habits yet.

[Nina Kay]

I'd like to be able to eat well just to be well all the time, not because of an illness.

Hey Nea, this is what I want too.

This is a good plan. Small steps, and never giving up.

It's the only way that I've found that I will be able to stick with anything. Otherwise I just get too overwhelmed and accomplish nothing or honestly when that happens, my problem ends up getting much worse. So when I overextend my efforts, I sabotage myself.

[Nina Kay]

I'll pick up some more Curves popcorn this week, it's even got a low point content for my WW program.

Astro, that sounds like a very good idea. I love popcorn and it's filling and is really good fiber. Curbs your appetite too. Water is a great filler too and always very healthy, of course. I hope that you're doing healthy eating today.

[Live]

I overslept and put in turkey healthy micro dinner in before I remembered the oatmeal!
Also forgot my vitamins!
This is the time where I want to eat...and eat...not because I am hungry...but I want flavors....so I had a tart apple, frozen fruit popsicle, then an egg salad sandwich and finally figured out to fix myself an ice water!
I have been doing so good with caffeine but totally blew it this evening by drinking two glasses of roomie's iced tea this evening. YES, this evening...which sabotages my sleep!
Bonks self in head! Be healed! LOL
I got a really trendy pair of jeans at the Salvation army today that is 1/2 size smaller...
......I AM going to fit into them!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(((((((((((((Nina))))))))))))))))

[Nina Kay]

Welcome to the thread, girlontherocks.

So Nina, I am with you. I am going to be on my own plan, not too rigid.

I'm so happy to have you join in here. It's so good that you have your own plan. I really do hope that you keep it simple. For me, that's critical to success.

It really does sound like you do have a good plan, but it just seems a little much all at once. It looks like to me that you are having the most trouble with your night bingeing.

All I want is to STOP NIGHT EATING/BINGING.

I've made these full day plans for myself many times and when I failed at one point during the day, I would feel like a failure and throw in the towel, go on the biggest binge possible, while telling myself that it didn't matter because I'd screwed up my plan already anyway. Then I went to OA for a while and learned that it was okay for me to start my plan over at any time during the day, so that I didn't have to wait until tomorrow or maybe Monday to start over again. A slip from my plan was just that, a slip, not a failure. That makes it okay and progress to just fix one part of my daily problem, at a time. I don't have to fix everything about myself at once.
Have you thought of replacing all of your night snacks with something healthy. It has to be something that you really will eat and that you make yourself have on hand at your home when you crave. Like Astro said, it has to be the easiest stuff within arm's reach. We do have to learn to be realistic if we ever hope to stick to it. Just some things to think about. I do hope that you'll keep coming back here and posting. Keep reading too please, as you can learn alot from the past posts of others that have walked the path before you. Maybe you could find a nutritional counselor or someone like that in your real time life also.

[Nina Kay]

Oh dear Live, all of what you said sounds just like what I've been doing. I guess all that we can do is to keep trying. I'm gonna start the backwards way in the morning and set my alarm for an actual morning time, like 8:00 am. I'll probably be tired all day, but with all that's been going on with my health, I feel tired all of the time anyway. I don't know if it'll work, but not being able to go to sleep at night and trying to force myself to bed, is just not working. So I'll try this backwards and see what happens. Let's try our oatmeal tomorrow, okay?!

(((((((((((HUGS Live)))))))))))))

[Live]

Sheepish grin.....I like my oatmeal, the old-fashioned kind with semi-sweet chocolate chips in them! LOL
What can I say my mama got us to eat oatmeal that way. Heck she potty trained us with them!
Anyway...I am going to snack, I am not going to try to fight THAT...and feel deprived, so I have a bag of frozen cherries in my lap. I read the label and I can eat as much as I want of them.
I guess I don't care if I eat my oatmeal that way. I won't use sugar and I won't overdo the choc chips...and can still keep my daily intake reasonable.
I don't want to feel like eating better OVERALL is a punishing.
????????

[Nina Kay]

I don't want to feel like eating better OVERALL is a punishing.

I really feel like you are right about this Live, and I think that this is very important to our continued success. I like how you snack on frozen cherries (fruit) in place of Obvious Sugary Sweets and they are something that you like. It's the substitution of a smarter choice that we still enjoy, that I feel we have to make in every area of our lives if we are going to have hope for continued success in our growth and recovery. Keep on keepin' on. You're doing great.

Guess What?! I finally was able to make myself get up at 8:00am this morning, just like I wanted to. I did eat my oatmeal for Breakfast at a decent hour today. I did take my vitamins & calcium with my Breakfast. I did get outside on this beautiful morning and walk in the sunshine & fresh air. Just for today, I accomplished my goal !!! Awesome. I'm so excited. I know that this is what happens when I don't give up and when I keep it simple. Back to Basics. Simplest is Best.

[girlontherocks]

Hi again..

Thank you so much Nina... I guess you're right. It's a lot. I binged again last night. And I'm so fat it's disgusting...... I cant pass by a mirror without feeling horrified. It's so scary. But I guess that if I just see it as a slip and go easy on myself, accepting that I am addicted to food... that it's progress not perfection.. I may have an easier time.

[Nina Kay]

Hi Girl. I'm happy you came back. Honestly, you sound really young. I'll bet that you're not near as fat as you think. I'm only saying that from my own experience. When I was young. I thought about myself like you just said.

And I'm so fat it's disgusting...... I cant pass by a mirror without feeling horrified. It's so scary.

I look at pictures of myself from when I was young and I can not believe that I thought that I was fat. I was not skinny mind you, but I was certainly not fat. I wish I could've seen that then and just been able to accept myself and relax in my own skin. I would've had a much much happier life. Of course, no one would've been able to convince me of that back then.

But I guess that if I just see it as a slip and go easy on myself

Yes, it helps me to see it that way too, because that is truely what it is and we have to remember that we didn't get where we are all at once. It took time and many binges and compulsive overeating to get here. When we build something with building blocks, we do it one block at a time, carefully getting that one block straight and steady so it will be secure before we place the next block on it. If we don't get that one secured first, then it will all crash down into a mess. That's the way it works with Eating Disorders.

And Girl, please remember that your life and yourself, are worth much much more than your weight or how you look. Please love yourself and take care of yourself. You only get one life here on this earth and nobody can live your life for you or take care of you all of time, so that you can get the most out of your life, except you. Just some things for you to think about.
(((((((((((((((Special Hugs)))))))))))))))

[Neagrm]

Welcome Girl and all,

Ahg, the night binging, that' my toughest, that's my downfall. I did great yesterday until evening and blew it.

Nina K, thanks for the reminder about starting over any time of the day and progress not perfection. I didn't binge as much as in the past; it was limited.

I'm having a very hard time because I'm on prednisone for Crohn's disease flare-up and it gives me the hungry horrors at times.

I'm going to try drinking more water and also love the idea about frozen fruit.

Way to go re the oatmeal! It's good stuff.

[Astro]

Originally Posted by Nina Kay

And Girl, please remember that your life and yourself, are worth much much more than your weight or how you look. Please love yourself and take care of yourself. You only get one life here on this earth and nobody can live your life for you or take care of you all of time, so that you can get the most out of your life, except you. Just some things for you to think about.
(((((((((((((((Special Hugs)))))))))))))))

I'm tempted to print that out and tape it to my scale or bathroom mirror. After reading this I can't believe how much I've beat myself up over my appearance for the last 38 years. Thank you for sharing those beautiful thoughts, Nina.

Nina, way to go on accomplishing your goal! And live, thanks for your inspirational shares too. I might have to try the frozen cherries. I've gotta watch the oatmeal though, I was shocked when I found out yesterday that even the light sugar type still lists sugar as the #2 ingrediant. That won't work if I'm trying to abstain from sweets.

I went up a couple pounds yesterday so I'm watching my meals carefully today, eating mostly fruit and veggies and drinking plenty of water.

[girlontherocks]

Nina........... Thank you so much. You have no idea. Yeah I'm young, in my early twenties... I think that in this area I am VERY YOUNG though.. I dont want to grow up it seems. What you said about people cant take care of me all the time.. wow so true. I guess I've been expecting some kind of miracle, for someone to come pick me up and tell me all the things I want to hear and stop me from binge eating at night.. Actually, that's what my ex did. It's time to take responsibility. And I agree, I should ALSO print out the beautiful things (and true things) you said and paste them to my mirror!!! If I lived from that perception, I am sure I would be much happier and much more useful.
I relate to the "looking at pictures and seeing I wasnt fat".. I do that all the time. I look at pictures and remember how seperate I felt, how terrible I thought I looked and often I'm smaller than those around me in the pic! Crazy. My mind tells me that this time it is different and this time it is real and no one would ever want anything to do with me because I am gross. Wow I am realzing how retarded this all sounds..........

[Live]

oatmeal clarification: I like the old fashioned oatmeal...it comes in a round cardboard container not packets. Just as easy to make tho'! I nuke them, but I do not cook them the full time because I like the texture....yummy! They are 100% whole grain rolled oats.
Also very filling! Or as my mom says "sticks to your ribs" LOL
BUT I wound up making mine last night.

Nina, my alarm went off at 8:30am but I did not get up.
I WOULD forget the vitamins if I did not check in here! Thank you!!!!!!!

I danced around a bit this morning! I decided to try on those jeans and they FIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, they are stretch jeans and are low riders...so not having to zip a waistline up (LOL)

I am starting off the day with a bottled water and vitamins.
My appetite comes into play later in the day.

I also had the fresh air in yesterday and got out...tho' not walking YET.
I have hope I will get there!

[Astro]

Originally Posted by liveweyerd

oatmeal clarification: I like the old fashioned oatmeal...it comes in a round cardboard container not packets. Just as easy to make tho'! I nuke them, but I do not cook them the full time because I like the texture....yummy! They are 100% whole grain rolled oats.
Also very filling! Or as my mom says "sticks to your ribs" LOL

I danced around a bit this morning! I decided to try on those jeans and they FIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, they are stretch jeans and are low riders...so not having to zip a waistline up (LOL)

I get those round containers at the dollar store, and usually mix some berries and Splenda in for breakfast. Yummy! Ran out the other day though and reached for the Quaker packets, that's when I checked for the sugar content.

Congrats on getting those jeans on! I put on an old pair of very large shorts this morning. Got 'em cinched up in a bunch with a belt. I feel like such a geek!

[Astro]

Breakfast today was grits with flaxseed & coffee, then a banana and strawberries at work. I'm currently munching on a white bean and prosciutto salad, early lunch.

[girlontherocks]

so my plan has been.. well i dont know... semi binged last night.. when will this ever leave??!?!/!

I pray that God may do for me what I cannot do for myself. I pray to always be hungry for the truth, for the beauty available through God. I pray that I may feel the oneness that is present at all times, that I not hurt myself but rather connect with God and those around me........

[Nina Kay]

Girl, it really sounds like you love God as I do. And He promises you that if you sincerely seek Him, He will be there for you. When you are down & out, please promise that you will pull closer to God and center your thoughts on Him. Be Still and Know that He IS God. Just pour out your true heart to Him and Listen for Him to comfort you.

As for your eating plan, don't rush into anything, but think about what is bothering you the most. You said that it was your bingeing. If that is still the worst part of your problem after you have thought about it, then I suggest that you don't worry about your weight at all, but focus on how to correct your bingeing problem. Think about what triggers you to binge and what you tend to binge on. This could possibly be your trigger food that you may need to avoid completely in the future.

Maybe you could start keeping a journal (a record or chart) about what you feel or think or what happens right before you rush to binge. After a while you will start to see a pattern that will help you to know how to form your plan to combat the problem, if you are completely honest with yourself. Remember, that no one else has to ever see what you journal, so you don't have to ever be afraid of being honest. These are just some suggestions for you to think about and maybe play off of. Remember to keep coming back here to post and to read what others have shared. There are also some very informative Stickies at the top of this forum page, that you might be interested in checking out.

[Nina Kay]

I haven't been doing so well with my plan, but maybe I will do better in the morning for Breakfast. I did compulsively overeat my breakfast today. I got Breakfast Burritos from Sonic. They are big. I knew that I only needed to eat one, but I got two. I reasoned with myself that it would be fine if I didn't get any fries or tater tots with them. It was too much and I knew that it would be too much. I ate it too late and that caused me to be too hungry, which led to my weakness in listening to my destructive & deceitfull self-talk voice.

I didn't take my vitamins & calcium this morning either. I did get up by 9:00am this morning which is alot better than before, but I didn't go ahead and eat my breakfast. This was a slip for me, but it only strengthens my resolve to do better. I can do this. We can do this.

[Live]

1 day out of 13/14 is still doing very well, Nina!!!!!!!!!

Astro, i loved laughing at the cinched up pants!!! thank you!

girl, easy does it, please!

I also ate fast food yesterday (couldn't log on) but am not going to worry about it.
My overall patterns ARE improving. Besides I don't intend to NEVER have a Reuben sandwich and fries! Just to do it far less often.
We are all learning new patterns, right? And in time they become habits, eh?

My concern is why I have been doing the caffeine the last 3 days??!!!
Danged iced tea. There is a jug of it in the frig....better get up and make my own decaf, since I can't seem to stay away from the tea!

It seems to me that blaming and beating up on ourselves only serves to set ourselves up for our issues to continue and keep us stuck in them.

[girlontherocks]

Nina.. You are so caring! Well all of you are... I really appreciate you guys putting in the time to respond.
Not worrying about my weight and just focusing on no more bingeing sounds like the RIGHT AND ONLY thing to do. The other way does not work. It sets me up. And thank you for the reminder to talk to God. I think that somewhere along the way I stopped trusting. I stopped believing he could hear me. I Stopped believing he could heal me and loves me truly.... I am going to start a journal. Good idea. I am going to start tonight even though I dont think I am going to binge. I will write WHY I half want to.
This too shall pass, right? I need patience, and yes... Easy does it.. *breath* *breath* ok.... Goodnight you guys.. lots of love and gratitude..

[Nina Kay]

I hope that you are all doing good with your plans today.

I'm definitely not doing good with mine. I need to hold myself accountable here. I didn't go to bed until 4 am last night, so I didn't wake up until 10:30 this morning. I ate lots of chips & dip last night, deep in the night. I've got a bad sinusy cold for the last 2 days and I just don't feel too good. I don't know. I'm just not doing good today. BUT I do plan to keep my plan, so I've slipped big time, but I'm not giving up. I do want to live my life fully. I do want to be healthy and feel healthy. I've got to start again. It's almost 12:00 noontime here and I'm still in my pjs and haven't eaten anything. I think I'm gonna start with a hot shower and get dressed. Then I'm gonna eat some oatmeal and take my vites. That's my start for the day, so talk to you all later. Take care everyone. You are important to me.

[girlontherocks]

Nina! You are an inspiration... Being easy on yourself like that and staying in the solution! It sounds good and proactive that you are focusing on what you can do NOW after your "slip". I am taking notes! I believe in you!

[Nina Kay]

Well, I did take that hot shower and get dressed and I did eat some oatmeal and take my vitamins & calcium. All of that did help me to feel better. I know me well enough to tell you that if I hadn't done that, I would have been stuck and spiraling down for a long time. I couldn't let that happen because I don't want to look up in a while and see that I'm right back where I was before and so many times in my life. I know that as long as I keep trying, I have hope for success. If I quit then I'll just be worse off than when I started. Progress; Not perfection. I'm striving for progress towards better health and a happier me.