Can I join?

[BinTX]

Hey there. I am new here. I have been struggling with food issues since childhood. I went between anorexia(pills) and binging in high school, more binging in college and now, I am married, have children, and have become a compulsive overeater and binger. It worsened with my diagnosis of Lupus four years ago, and two years ago, I fell very ill, and was unable to work anylonger. Now that I am doing better on the Lupus front, my eating problems have worsened.

I have awful self esteem, but seem to put up a great front, since not even my husband thinks there is an issue with me sitting in front of the TV and eating about 3000 calories in an hour. I don't even realize I have done it either, until its over. IT's like I can't stop.

I just had a baby last spring, and lost weight while pregnant(not intentional - my illness contributed to it) and since his birth, I have gained 30lbs. I am restarting Wellbutrin, and topamax for my headaches, which are worse since my desire to eat all the time returned.

I am basically needing support, and I need to know WHAT to do to start getting my life back. I need to loose weight, I am now at 250 lbs, but most seem to think I weigh 200 or so, since I dont carry weight all over, just in my hips and legs.

I am unhealthy, swelling and I cry everytime I look at myself. I know I can do this, because I have my children depending on me, and they are my life, I just need some guidance and support. I am going to look for a therapist, but to be honest, we are on a very fixed income with my rheum doc, pcp, my meds, etc.....

I am just lost, and as bad as I want to return to work, now that I am moving past the flare from a few years ago, none of my clothes fit and I am a mess. I couldn't go back and be professional and presentable if I wanted to.

I do however, manage to pull it together for my kids. I am very active with the school, just make sure I have good excuses when I don't eat at functions or attend pizza parties.

Sorry this is so long, but I am wide awake and miserable and wanting to go fix a bowl of ice cream.

[Nina Kay]

Hi BinTX. Welcome to the Eating Disorders Forum of SR. I'm glad that you found us here. I hope that you will consider reading the Stickys that are at the top of the opening page of this forum. There is alot of very useful information and links to other places with information. I also hope that you'll keep coming back here as often as you possibly can to post and to read others posts. There is much experience from so many others that have gone through or are now going through what you are, in those posts. I too have a weakness for ice cream, but it doesn't like me as much as I like it. LOL
I am a compulsive overeater too. You are definitely not alone in your struggles and you never have to be alone again, now that you have found us here. I would suggest that you also look for an Overeaters Anonymous Group Meeting in your area. I do know that the face2face support is so important. Others will be along later to share with you too. Keep coming back.
((((((((((((((((Welcome Hugs)))))))))))))))

[roxiestone]

Good morning BinTX,

First of all, a big welcoming hug from me. I understand and lived through every word you wrote. As Nina Kay said, you are not alone. We all know the struggles and the feelings that you are going through.

Please continue to come back.

Peace to you.

[RRecovery]

Food Addicts Anonymous has phone meetings every single day as well as online and regular face to face ones. To learn more about this fellowship---which will be celebrating its 21st anniversary this December----go to its website Food Addicts Anonymous
It changed my life

[Biscuits]

Hi

Gosh do i know where you are coming from, i too used to eat huge amounts of food in front of the telly and it wasn't until i looked down at the wrappers to tidy up did i know i had consumed so much. It was as if i was in auto pilot, i even lost count of how many times i had visited the kitchen. I have been a food addict for as long as i can remeber, well back into my childhood when i realised certain foods gave me a buzz and lifted my mood. The eating disorder run riot and created havoc in my life up until 12 years ago. I was informed of a twelve step program that deals with compulsive overeating from a friend and i haven't looked back since.

My whole life and attitude around food and body issue has changed and i can say today that i am a recovering bulimic/compulsive overeater and have been for 11 years 5 months and 10 days. Recovery is a gift that i do not take for granted, it is given to me one day at a time as long as i continue to work my program and stay in conscious contact with my HP.

I hope you keep coming back, you have already taken a huge step, don't stop now.

[cali]

welcome Bin!!
I relate to the rapid weight change-gain/or loss. Some moderation is what I seek. keep sharing and know that you are not alone!!!