sober but my eating disorder is out of control

[mxchaos]

starving myself to death seems to have replaced my drinking habits. I can't stop it nd it doesn't help that I have manic depression on top of this. my world feels so out of control that I need to control a small piece of my life by starving myself. this has been a cycle of mine for 25 years. I just can't stop it this time. I have no desire to drink but I must not eat and exercise alot. my world is spinning down and I can't stop it.

[Bamboozle]

Hey, mx, please call someone for help. Do you have a psychologist/therapist/counselor you can talk to now?

[zendust]

I agree with Bam. Get some professional attention. We don't do recovery alone.

[Rowan]

I'm glad you're reaching out, mx. I don't have a lot of experience with ED but if you need someone to talk to, please PM me I'd be happy to listen.

[mxchaos]

i'm in close contact with my doc and we're working on a plan to stop this in it's tracks

[mimi54321]

Oh mx, I hear you, its hard when one way of coping replaces another. The first step is sharing, so well done for that......sending strength your way
M

[mxchaos]

I found a support board for anorexia it's some comfort to know I'm not the only one out there. thanks for all the help

[rjw1482]

hey im glad ur doin alil better , keep ya head n keep posting were all here for support .

we all have or own battles but were all fighting the same war

[Nina Kay]

mxchaos,
I'm glad to hear that you and your Dr. are working on a plan of recovery for you and I'm happy to hear that you've found others to talk with that have walked in your shoes dealing with anorexia. I really do know that it's so important to recovery to be able to talk with and share experiences with others that can really understand what you are dealing with. I personally have the opposite type of eating disorder, as I'm a compulsive overeater and binge eater. I use food like others use alcohol.
I do hope that you'll keep coming back here to share with others though, as there are those with anorexia that come here as you did, for support and understanding. We need you to share with the rest of us too, since we all have an eating disorder and there are alot of similarities in the way that we deal with life and eating disorders. So please keep coming back and keep us up on how you're doing.

[mxchaos]

my eating disorder is winning but I'm still sober for the day

[Nina Kay]

It's a great accomplishment that you are still sober for today. You have a very good reason to be happy about that. I'm sorry to hear that you believe that your eating disorder is winning. Sometimes, especially lately, I've believed that my eating disorder is winning too. But I won't throw in the towel completely no matter what. Please, just do your best to make small healthy choices, just for today and don't even think of anything more. Just my 2 cents, of course. I'm one of those easily overwhelmed people so I have to always remind myself to only worry about one choice at a time. Keep coming back, please.
((((((((((Supportive Hugs)))))))))))

[espresso]

Hi there, don't know if this is the site you have found, but it's very comprehensive and useful. Good Luck with everything.

Eating Disorders | Anorexia | Bulimia | Binge Eating Disorder | Compulsive Overeating | The Something Fishy Website on Eating Disorders

[mxchaos]

yes thats the site.

the scale said 87 lbs but the mirror still says wide load across my butt. I can't win

[splendra]

I have a yoga partner who likes to go long periods of time without eating. She introduced me to blue green algae(BGA) from Kalmath Falls Oregon. There are several companies that sell it even Walmart sells it. Some brands are better processed and seem to have more boosting power.

Blue Green Algae is a very powerful nutrient. It has complete essential amino acids (essential being the protein that your body needs yet cannot make yes, your body makes protein) also it has complete essential trace minerals that means all the trace minerals your body needs to preform all the necessary brain and nerve function plus the necessary hormonal secretions in the brain. For it really to nourish the brain best it would be best to find BGA with the cell wall removed so that it passes the blood brain barrier.

If there was only one food I could eat this would be the one I would choose. It is the oldest life form on the planet. In it's DNA it is encoded to survive, it is proven to stimulate your own stem cells to life and helps your body to reproduce quality cells.

I personally have seen many people's health greatly improve after they start eating it. I have known many addicts of all kinds to be able heal after they start using BGA including myself.

My yoga partner I am sure had the same disorder as you but she did not want to ruin her health when she did eat she always ate the highest qualities of foods always organic and always vegan. She has actually gained some weight since I first met her she is older now(so am I) and we still communicate. She has loosened her dietary rules a little. We have a very honest relationship and have called each other on all of the BS.

For me I wanted to live. I wanted to get better and so did my friend so thru her obsessive compulsive drive to be perfect she found a perfect food and it helped her find her average and she is comfortable there and she loves her life. Amen!

[mxchaos]

I do mindfulness twice a day along with progressive relaxation and visualization.

my mind is so messed up they locked my thread on the other board for anorexia.

[Nina Kay]

Hi again, mxchaos. It's good to see you back. Have you noticed the thread by Done-with-it that talks about dealing with Anorexia & Bulimia? There is some very important and useful information in there that might help you in some way. I also want to suggest that you look into the Stickies at the top of the opening page of Eating Disorders. I know that there is alot of useful information for you and links to other sites that can help too. Please never give up fighting to be healthy. I hope that you will continue to come back here to share. (((((((((((Caring Hugs)))))))))

[splendra]

In any dysfunction I may have some self care always helps me. Loving my life thinking about the ones I love and doing everything I know how to connect myself to love.

I must care enough about me to do something good for me each day.

The fact that you are reaching out shows that you care and you want to be better. Perhaps coming here helps you to affirm that you have hope for yourself. We really do care about you here I can assure you of that.:praying

[mxchaos]

Thank you all
still haven't eaten but I'll check out the stickies and such

[mxchaos]

I put my swimsuit on after the weekend and I feel so fat it's not funny it almost makes me want to stop swimming but I won't cause it's part of my mindset that I must exceed a certain level of movement to keep me losing weight. I hate my body

[Nina Kay]

mxchaos, I'm sorry that you are still having such a problem, but I'm so happy to hear that you are not going to give up. I'm glad that you keep coming back here to share with us. Please keep it up. I hope that you'll read everyone else's posts too, both present and the past ones. There have been many people that have gone through what you are going through that have come here to share in the past and just didn't keep coming back. They still had alot to share that might just help you in some way. Please keep coming back here and sharing. We all need you as much as you need us. We can help each other. We are not alone as long as we keep meeting here.
(((((((((((((((Sincere Caring Hugs))))))))))))))))))

[mxchaos]

now that I live alone I find it impossible to eat but was told I need to maintain my current weight or I'd be hospitalized. I don't want to go there as I just got out 2weeks ago. how do I maintain when I have no desire to eat no reason to cook, stuck,

[splendra]

I hope you will read this thread over and over. Do something to give yourself nutrition. The stuff I told you about is very cheap at wal-mart under $10. All you have to do is swallow one capsule no cooking or eating and one bottle will last you 2 months if you only take one per day. If you take 2 per day it will last you all month.

I hope your survival instinct will kick in for you and you will realize the value of giving yourself something nutritional that will support your body. I am pretty sure the BGA is superior nutrition and can help stimulate the survival instinct.

Prayers going out for you.

[mxchaos]

I'll go get some and give it a try anything to maintain
thanks

[splendra]

I want you to know I am keeping you in my heart and prayers and I look for your posts everyday. Be good to yourself sweetie.

((((((((((((((mxchaos)))))))))))))))))))))

[mxchaos]

Originally Posted by splendra

I want you to know I am keeping you in my heart and prayers and I look for your posts everyday. Be good to yourself sweetie.

((((((((((((((mxchaos)))))))))))))))))))))

thank you so much for caring so much it means alot to me. just for today i'll keep trying to eat