sober but my eating disorder is out of control

[Nina Kay]

Way to go, mx. I'm so happy to hear that you didn't have to go to the hospital. Just keep choosing the next right thing and keep on keepin' on.

[mxchaos]

thanks I'll keep trying

My Mom is staying with me for the next ten days and she doesn't know about this. I hope I can hide it from her because I don't want her pity and she does that with my bipolar. It's not her fault I'm like this but I can tell she thinks it is.

one day at a time is the best I can do so that's what I'm going to do

thanks again for all the support

[splendra]

good ole mom loves us like no other can. Moms like to take care of their babies. Maybe if you can let her give you some care and not look at it as pity but, that she just loves you so much. Tell her thank you for loving you if you truly feel it and I am sure it will make her feel good and you too. Give her a hug for me will ya.

[espresso]

Originally Posted by mxchaos

thanks I'll keep trying
one day at a time is the best I can do so that's what I'm going to do

thanks again for all the support

Glad to hear this and that you are not in hospital!
Do what you can...one day at a time, one meal at a time.People, want to support you - like drinking, it's hard if not impossible to do this on your own. :ghug

[mxchaos]

thanks for the support it means alot to me.

I'm managing to maintain my weight and hide my eating disorder from my mom who is visiting.

My meds seem to be working good to keep my moods some what stable and I've managed to sleep like a normal person so all in all I seem to be on the path that's a little healthier and happier. I'll keep living one day at a time and remember to hit the gratitude thread.

[espresso]

Sleep makes a big difference doesn't it?:ghug

[mxchaos]

Sleep is a big thing and it feels good to wake after a full nights rest. So my goal for today is to maintain my weight, go swimming and to set healthy boundaries with my mom.

[splendra]

Hey girl you sound good. Keep it up. You are worth it.

[mxchaos]

thanks
one day at a time is working. a little scared I'm going to crash but I'll keep working this program.

[mxchaos]

martial arts bring mind body and spirit together and that's something I need so I want to join the tae kwon do center and work out with them but I'm scared everyone will be watching me. I know I need this if I can get myself through the front door I should be fine. I know I need to have some control in my life other than straving myself.

anyone one know how to get rid of a case of chicken

[splendra]

People really don't pay as much attention to others as it might seem.

When you are among other people do you spend much time looking at others to see how foolish or whatever they seem? Probably not...correct me if I am wrong.

Everyone will have basically the same goal at the class which is to learn this particular style of body movement. I think that will keep most people in the class focused on what they are doing rather than what you are doing.

You know the saying feel the fear and do it anyway? Go for it!!

[dave47]

Sounds like a great idea mx. I studied karate for a few years when I was a teenager, and that only fell by the wayside due to drinking. The two clubs I attended, you couldn't have met a more decent crowd. Everyone will be helpful and the benefits will be enormous-go for it.

[mxchaos]

I bought some workout clothes so now I'm a step closer to doing it. Thanks for all the wise words.

[mxchaos]

still doing ok and feeling pretty good it's hard work staying healthy

[espresso]

:ghug

[mxchaos]

panic attacks things are going to good and I afraid of crashing

[mxchaos]

Haven't crashed and still maintaining trying hard to keep it in the day

[mxchaos]

I lost alittle weight and I have to say it made me happy even thought I know its not healthy and that's suppose to be my goal. so for today I'll stay sober and try to eat.

[mxchaos]

My shrink says my anorexia is a way to control a small piece of my life my brain is so chaotic I feel out of control and this is a way I can get some control back. I think hes right but I also think my body image is skewed. No matter how little I weigh I always feel and look fat.

still working on health and how to get through the dojo door so I can start working on mind body and spirit.

[mxchaos]

I post here almost daily to keep myself on the healthy road but some days I can't win. My desire to be thinner is so strong it's taking over,

[splendra]

Hey(((MX))))

Holidays are really hard for me sometimes because of all the eating that goes on. I tend to loose weight during this time because I figured out that as a child I heard about all the weight gain. My mom is an over eater and I use to go on diets "for her" all the time.

I was always the picky eater in my family.

I had to just force myself to get over this unhealthy behavior. I started focusing on getting healthy and never looked back.

Understand that you are a very important part of the grand scheme of things your thoughts have power. They go out into the universe and have an effect on everything.

Think healthy and love yourself you are very important! You must get healthy. Love to you from me and the universe.

[mxchaos]

I haven't given up yet somedays are just harder then others, I have to remember healthy is a process just like sober.
thanks for the wise words

[mxchaos]

I made a promise to work on healthy again today so I'll go swimming,spend time with my kids and try and eat. Not an easy thing for me but it's just like staying sober.

One day at a time

[splendra]

Also know that eating things that are highly nutritious will never make you fat. You need healthy food to help your muscles move thru the water. Have fun with the kids

[mxchaos]

Because I'm scared of gaining weight I always choose the healthy foods as they are low in fat. Struggling to maintain but working hard with my therapist in choosing a happier healthier life.