sober but my eating disorder is out of control

[mxchaos]

struggling today with anna and staying sober. I want to feel numb I'm to emotional today and it hurts.

[dave47]

Sorry you are going through such a tough time mx.
I can't offer any advice as I love food and have to watch what I eat,
I just wanted to say that you are in my prayers and keep on fighting and doing whatever it takes.

[mxchaos]

thank you for the warm thoughts it means alot to me as I don't feel so alone in all of this.

[mxchaos]

not having a good thin thoughts running around my brain. I'll never be thin enough.

[mxchaos]

I'm trying really hard to make this a better day. I will use opposite emotion to combat my thoughts.

[splendra]

Hey dahlin' be gentle with yourself.

Think Marilyn Monroe, Sofia Loren, soft, round and beautiful

[mxchaos]

working on good thoughts thanks

[Nina Kay]

Hey mxchaos, how are you doing now? Are you okay? I've been in and out lately, so it took me a few minutes to catch up on reading the posts. I was thinking.............. Is there any way that you would consider researching &
gathering up the FACTS about your body weight, body measurements and other personal health factors ? And then go and gather up all of the factual comparison measurements and facts on an average for someone with your age and height? Then consider only going by and relying on the facts and not your feelings and thoughts, which obviously have been lying to you so fervently. These are just some thoughts about things to consider while dealing with your eating disorder.

Take care of yourself and don't give up.

[mxchaos]

I'm doing ok. I ate some non fat yogurt yesterday.

While in the hospital for a month we did some body work. I know what a healthy weight is I know logically that my body image is skewed. still really hard to stop my feelings and thoughts. I think my brain is still drunk even though I'm sober.

thanks for the reply it means alot to me

[Ami105]

I totally understand what you are going through. I have only a few days clean and I am bulimic. My bulimia is out of controle, I would not wish this on anyone. I don't have any suggestions for you being I am in my own insanity but I wanted to let you know you are not alone.

[mxchaos]

thanks and good luck too you

[mxchaos]

Today I wish everyone would leave me alone. I don't feel like fighting to maintain my weight or to eat. I want to starve.

Sober is so much easier to do than this. so for today I'll stay sober and try to live.

[splendra]

((((((mxchaos)))))))

Hang in there sweetie. I'm praying for ya. Be gentle with yourself.

[mxchaos]

thanks

[Nina Kay]

I hope you're doing better right now, mxchaos. You are definitely in my thoughts. Hang in there and keep coming back and sharing with others here who are going through what you are, as I've noticed that you've done. It's better for everyone for all of us to stick together. There is safety and strength in numbers. (((((((((Caring Hugs)))))))))

[mxchaos]

Today I hit my minimum weight and I'm scared I won't be able to maintain it till Wednesday when I see the doc and he decides if I need to go to the hospital again. Really can't because insurance won't pay and my mom is going to be visiting. Just need to add some calories to my daily intake. wish me luck.

[espresso]

[RRecovery]

I can identify with the original poster. I got sober in 1984 with a weight of 127 pounds. 22 years late I was at about 210. Some how I could make the connection that alcohol was an addiction and I needed to work a program of recovery. With the food I kept thinking I could handle it myself. When I hit my bottom and found FAA I was finally ready and that was in July 2006. I have been coming back ever since. Believe me the food is tougher and I was a low bottom drunk.

[splendra]

sending out thoughts of cream cheese and bagels and pasta with sauce

[splendra]

Please help me out and eat something for me cause I really do need to loose a few pounds not much weight just a little. I would gladly give up a few meals for ya kiddo...

I like lots of olive oil and fresh tomatoes and basil, onions and garlic on my pasta please all very nutritious and non fatting plus very delicious.. Eat fresh and clean and nutritious and your body will thrive and so will your spirit. I will too.

...and I will stop eating so much pastry from that new bakery down the street...

[mxchaos]

that sounds good I might give it a try.
thanks

[mxchaos]

scared to see the doc today

[espresso]

Hi ya
Good Luck and maybe you can let us know later on how your meeting with the Doc went.
Everyone's rootin for ya!!

[Nina Kay]

Would love to hear from you soon, mx. Hang in there and keep coming back here.

[mxchaos]

thanks guys it means alot to me that you care, I managed to pass all the test and don't have to go to the hospital, and he'll see me again next week. so I still need to maintain my weight. still trying one day at a time