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10-01-2008, 09:13 AM
| #201 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 976
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I am going to re-start myself today...and any others who are interested please join. Obvious Sweet bottom lines are our own call. McDonalds' hot fudge or caramel sundaes are beyond the OS bottom line...no matter how much I wish they are allowable..l.I don't pig out on them in having more than 1 at at time...and I could allow myself one every few days and still think I am ok. But...it is the addiction calling to me that one sundae is OK...one cigarette is OK...one joint would be OK...one drink would be OK...one housewife would be OK.... Lots of different things intoxicate me. I have to work on abstaining where I must...and maintain where I can. I can't abstain or maintain by myself. I go to 12 step meetings...I communicate with fellow addicts... I go to meetings...I go to a therapist...I am trying to get better. And for this instant...I am sober...sane...and working on my serenity. jack - 10/1 - 1 day |
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10-01-2008, 02:55 PM
| #202 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe  Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
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I hear you jack...that's what happened to me--made an exception and eventually, I was simply "justifying". I make it through the day no problem. It's night time. A friend of mine died last night. I knew her for about three years from the morning meetings that I go to. I am just sad today. But listening to everyone this AM--she was really loved, and sure was a good person. I actually do great with food when I an "sad".....so today will be day one hopefully for me too.
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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10-02-2008, 06:32 AM
| #203 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 976
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I got triggered yesterday by grazing in the frig' and finding Nestle Toll House dough that I guess my son had bought. One package was open and about half gone. I ate the other half thinking that I will just have a piece or two the whole time. The crack in my thinking is rough on me as I cave in in other areas as well. I will restart today...add Cali at the top...and go from there. Cali - 10/1 - 2 days Jack - 10/2 - 1 day |
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10-02-2008, 02:45 PM
| #204 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
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nope- can't put me on top cause I just ain't got what it takes......
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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10-02-2008, 04:35 PM
| #206 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,675
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Our computer packed up nearly two weeks ago and I have only just got it sorted out. In that time I have slipped up a few times and as of tonight have two days, working on three tomorrow. I have been exercising fairly hard and with many comments about my weight loss I feel that I am getting a bit complacent with some of the foods I eat. However, I also know that my old habits could very easily take over and there have been many signs recently of the old binge mentality lurking in the shadows. Glad Ananda, Cali, Jack that you are all still around; take care and have a good evening.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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10-03-2008, 05:53 AM
| #207 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 976
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Well, I am kind of excited to return to the log...let me think...the 24 hours count...but the current day doesn't...OK, here goes. Dave - 10/1 - 2 days Jack - 10/2 - 1 day Cali - 10/3 Ananda - 10/3 Dave, Congratulations on getting regular exercise and watching what you eat...you have made a remarkable change in yourself...one that all your family, friends and co-workers have seen...and some have chosen to remark about it. You have worked to improve your self-esteem. You're on the right track. Cali, Your posts have been inspiring to me. I am going to pull myself out of the mud and the darkness I have been in. I want to make my life better...and it is if I just stop my self-condemnation. For this instant, I am a very good person...I am writing to you who I care about. Ananda, Thanks for your willingness to come back and give sober living another try. I can't get or stay sober by myself. I've got to go. Take care all |
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10-03-2008, 07:57 AM
| #208 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,675
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Thanks for your kind words Jack, and being back here has helped me today. I have just had lunch with my wife and usually there is a full spread of fresh fruit, but today there was only grapefruit and orange. Apart from that there was cake and ice cream- I stuck to the fruit. Getting the kids soon and then work tonight, best wishes all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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10-03-2008, 07:57 PM
| #209 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: trail of discovery
Posts: 2,391
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Good to see you all still hanging in here and giving it another go. Remember everyday is a step forward as long as you don't give up. I am still hanging in.... I just can't seem to make it through more than a day or two without eating something sweet lately.
__________________ "Failure is an EVENT, it is not a person – yesterday really did end last night, and today is your brand new day..." .........unknown  The sun always rises, and a new day begins.  |
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10-04-2008, 02:17 PM
| #210 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,675
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Blew today so I will start afresh tomorrow. I had a f**k it moment when I got in from work this morning and couldn't get the computer to work. For about an hour I tried to get online without success, and with getting increasingly frustrated I ate some chocolate and hit the sack. When I got up my daughter said she restarted the computer as soon as I went to bed and it was working. They say patience is a virtue but I didn't have any this morning. Anyway I will begin tomorrow with confidence. I am running a 10k with my brother along the seafront and even though the forecast is to be cold, wet and windy I am looking forward to it. This will be my first registered run and I hope it will be the first of many, all being part of a healthier lifestyle( with a few hiccups along the way). Good to hear from you Pony, best wishes all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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10-04-2008, 07:45 PM
| #211 (permalink) |
| Accepting Myself As Is  Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 2,340
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Hey All, I haven't been on in quite a while, and I haven't read up yet, on how anyone has been doing since I've been gone. I just wanted to say Hello again. I haven't been doing well AT ALL....... I've been doing really awful, as a matter of fact and gained alot more weight and I feel horrible too. Just wanted to say Hi and let you all know that I'm still alive and I haven't forgotten any of you.
__________________ Acceptance is key to my Serenity. Nina Kay |
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10-05-2008, 10:06 AM
| #212 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,675
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Glad to hear from you Nina, and welcome back. My run went well today even though the weather was atrocious. I had a roast dinner and yoghurt so today will hopefully be a success, best wishes all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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10-05-2008, 01:26 PM
| #213 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 976
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Yeah...it's good to hear from your Nina and Pony...you both have been a help to me...I've hitting a day or two here and there also...but I believe coming back keeps me from binging day in and day out...I hope to get a few days after today... I've did not say "No, thanks." when I had the opportunity to sweet rolls at an AA meeting this morning. I have to ask myself what my motive was to say, "OK." when I really wasn't going to get anything of value out of the exchange. I believe my answer was exactly the same as Dave's above. I like that Dave added "f - i moment" because it is only a moment. This morning is gone...my f - i moment is gone...I am working now on doing the next right thing. Dave, congrats on the willingness to get out and run in the sloppy weather. Not many people are willing...it's a real pioneer spirit. Keep it up. Who is going to be OS sober for 10/5? Dave - 10/5 Jack - 10/5 Cali - 10/5 Ananda - 10/5 Pony - 10-5 Nina -10-5 GG - 10-5 Others - 10-5 |
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10-06-2008, 08:07 AM
| #215 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 976
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Thanks, Rox. I am asking myself today, "What are my motives?" I want freedom...joy...truth. Sometimes I give myself guilt, shame, self-pity. OS helps me be free of an addiction. Rox - 10/5 - 1 day Jack - 10/5 - i 1day Dave - 10/5 Cali - 10/5 Ananda - 10/5 Pony - 10-5 Nina -10-5 GG - 10-5 Others - 10-5 |
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10-06-2008, 10:52 AM
| #216 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,675
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One day completed and working on two today. Working hard and not much free time, but I am positive and hope to be back on track.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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10-06-2008, 02:54 PM
| #217 (permalink) | |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
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Thanks Jack-you are a neat person for sure. OMG-I have to just SNAP myself out of these very very bad bad bad food behaviors I am in!!!!! I WANT TODAY TO BE MY BOTTOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am borderline SICK from what I ate today......the progression is brutal with bindge eating....just like alcohol....... OK I need help.....I have to throw out what is in my desk at work RIGHT NOW....... I want to treat myself well...and I am really killing myself right now....... I know that only I can stop the insanity............ I pledge to remain OS free foor the rest of today, and not go home and say "well I already failed today mine as well have __________fill in the blank... I pledge to my OS thread that I used to rely on an awful lot.... Just for (the rest of) today---I can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! | |
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10-07-2008, 07:30 AM
| #219 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
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YAY I am still OS free!!!!!  I really think I have hopped back on the beam! It's amazing that the things I read here yesterday absolutely gave me the strength to just Jump on again!!! I don't have to have a food hang over today...that is so appealing to me. Thanks everyone for continuing to post-it helps me so much!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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10-07-2008, 01:51 PM
| #221 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,675
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Well done Cali, and thank you for everything that you offer. It's nearly 9pm so I am nearing the end of three good days. My picture was in the paper the other day and many people have said good things, all I could see was how old I am looking. Anyway it was very blustery today so I couldn't resist venturing down to the seafront and along the coast on my bike, I loved seeing the waves as it was high tide. I was battered about a bit and had to dig in for an hour but that small part of the day keeps me on the right track in every other area. Have a good evening all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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10-07-2008, 03:01 PM
| #222 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
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Dave that's neat that you were in the paper-cool! So you live on the coast line too, eh? There's nothing like it! Good for you for your accomplishments! I officially have 24 hours OS free!!!! Thanks everyone for your supporT!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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10-07-2008, 09:35 PM
| #223 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 976
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Wonderful news about you picture, Dave. You've done something great...and like me, I find the dark cloud behind many silver linings. What is great is the accomplishment of settting a goal and working toward it. I had a non-stop gym workout this morning for 45 minutes...and I list of chores to do in town...so I didn't get back here til 10PM 10/7 Chicago time. Here is this morning's count...I had OS sobriety 'til tonight...so I am putting myself back to O on this list. I am grateful to be honest...because I wanted in the worst way to let myself get honest later on. Thank you all for your ES&H Dave - 10/4 - 3 day Rox - 10/5 - 2 days Cali - 10/6 - 1 day Ananda - 10/ Pony - 10/ Nina -10/ GG - 10/ Jack - 10/ Others - 10/ I haven't had a goal here for a long time. It used to be 100 days...once I had that...I have just limpped along...not bad...but not great either...my cholersterol numbers have climbed...and I need to set that goal here. Tomorrow will be Day 1 of a 100 day goal. OMG...I feel like I am risking my life in this. |
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10-08-2008, 05:29 AM
| #224 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 976
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It won't be light out for a half hour or more. I am up and getting dressed to run. I have my oatmeal smoothie ready in the blender after I get back. I am right here now... to work on my OS, my honesty, and my sobriety. I feel good about myself. I will stretch my body to loosen up...and the relieve the tension I put on myself already. I will relax. Dave - 10/4 - 4 days Rox - 10/5 - 3 days Cali - 10/6 - 2 days Ananda - 10/ Pony - 10/ Nina -10/ GG - 10/ Jack - 10/ Others - 10/ |
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10-08-2008, 07:42 AM
| #225 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
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Excellent Jack- You sound like you are in a very healthy and focused mindset. I am still OS free  I feel great this morning. I feel hopeful. I have some tests tomorrow (medical) and I am hoping everything is ok. Whatever will be will be. I am not going to over-eat becasue of it. Smoking isn't an option anymore thank goodness. It just never enters my mind anymore because of how my father died. So I have to be even more careful becasue it all manifests in food. And I have to admit that I wanted to drink yesterday....so this is how I justify eating OS's....it's better than smoking or drinking....and the committee starts in the head. For today, I will not justify sweets. I will keep them in the "toxic" catagory....becasue in a round-about-way, it kills me the same way the other substances kill me....emotionally, mentally, and spiritually....Thanks everyone-have a good day!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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