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08-25-2008, 09:00 AM
| #51 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe  Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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Ananda- I am sorry I don't have any es+h to offer you on that 4th step question. Someone will though. I am thinking of you and wishing you serenity and peace prior to, during, and after your surgery.
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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08-26-2008, 06:04 AM
| #53 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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Ananda - I can't recall anyone posting a 4th step on OS. I felt bad enough about myself...and the need to find help...when I came to the SR website...and searched for Eating Disorders...and posted a request for ES&H on OS's. It's an interesting question about working the steps in OS...I don't know...do people work the steps in OA?? Regardless...today is starting off well...I am grateful to be here...and hope we all find what we need to be OS sober today. Take care all. |
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08-26-2008, 06:34 AM
| #54 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 626
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Ananda, I don't have anything to share on working the 4th step in relation to ED/OA. As a matter of fact, I don't have much to share other than wishing us all strength and hope, just for today. I'm still in the hunt, but rather "flat" about it right now. Peace. |
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08-26-2008, 10:11 AM
| #55 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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ate something that I consider to be "sweet" yesterday. ARRGH oh well-I am here for another day. This is way harder than not drinking....I can't believe it, but it is.
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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08-26-2008, 02:13 PM
| #59 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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Yeah Rox-that could be part of it...but it's like I don't have anything "hanging" over my head to make me stay on track...the reunion was "so" important to me...I not only met but exceeded my weight loss expectation by the time the event arrived.... but now, I don't know...I am not blaming I just really believe that's what it is with me...nothing keeping my focus toward an "ultimate" goal.... until health and wellness is enough, I guess I won't succeed.
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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08-27-2008, 06:53 AM
| #62 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 626
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Ah, another goal oriented individual. Set a "petty" goal in front of me and I can succeed like nobody's business. I've been floundering for the same reason, I think. There doesn't appear to be any goal "hook" that will keep me really engaged. I did the whole reunion thing myself about ten years ago and that's one of the things that started me on the journey to deal with my ED. So there is a lot of good that came out of it, but as Jack said, perhaps the sobriety/healthfulness just somehow needs to be enough - without some sort of artificial goals. I'm sure, if I thought more about it, that this somehow ties into my perfectionism. If I don't have a yardstick to measure against, then how will I know I'm perfect? :wtf2 I'm trying now to use some visualization to help me maintain. I've got this picture in my head of the woman I want to be/life I want to lead. Seriously, it is a picture of this fit, athletic woman who is in her fifties (I'm 47 now) who is serene and completely comfortable in her own skin. So I try to ask myself if I am living and behaving in a way that moves me towards that goal. It's become a more internal goal/feeling rather than an external goal of how I look to others. Anyway, enough rambling. I appreciate all that I learn and gain from this forum from each of you. Peace. |
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08-27-2008, 01:28 PM
| #63 (permalink) | |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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Rox- I really liked your post...I am going to go re-read it again. I totally relate. I will be 39 soon (holy cow lol strange to type that!!) Quote:
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! | |
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08-28-2008, 06:05 AM
| #64 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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Rox...You Rock!!! Great words eloquently posted. I'm 62...and want to thrive on high-energy challenges into my 80's. I saw a guy skiing in California who was decked out in great looking ski attire...and was a member of the "80's Ski Club" When I asked what it was, I learned it's a group in their 80's...WOW To get there, I have to do the work now. And I do...and I get the ES&H of all of you who post who are also trying to be better human beings...one day at a time. Take care. |
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08-28-2008, 07:32 AM
| #67 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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today 8/28/08 is my new date please-thanks. This is SO frustruating!!! I am DETOXING from sugar....I hate it that I let myself slip into the big black hole, "again"....this date however is a special day to someone that is special to me--so I am hoping that it will give me some extra strength to stay the course.
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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08-28-2008, 03:37 PM
| #69 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 626
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Just when I thought I was in for an uneventful day, my workday turned painful. I just came out of a meeting where I felt very unneeded and unvital to the organization. My competency, what not directly called into question, was maligned a bit. I do not believe those things to be true and I think the other person was just throwing enough blame around to hope something sticks. Still, it was tough to hear. I will grab ahold of the negative and beat myself up with it. I worry too much about what other people think of me. I'm rather upset, but doing my best to practice calming techniques and to give myself time. I do not have to react to this situation. I do not have to eat over this situation. I'm going to a meeting. Last edited by roxiestone; 08-28-2008 at 03:58 PM. |
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08-28-2008, 05:21 PM
| #70 (permalink) |
| Forum Leader  Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: trail of discovery
Posts: 2,480
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{{{Cali}}} You can do it. You have. Just keep with it one moment at a time if need be. Frog- hey at least you made it the 10 days !!!! Get right back up! {{{Roxi}}} Sorry you had a bad day. Do something good for yourself tonight. It will help the spirit. Ananda, Hon... I agree. It is hard to get back with it... Just keep at it.
__________________ "Failure is an EVENT, it is not a person – yesterday really did end last night, and today is your brand new day..." .........unknown  The sun always rises, and a new day begins.  |
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08-29-2008, 06:53 AM
| #72 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 626
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Other peoples' feelings do not require an action from me. They own their feelings and I own mine. It is not my job to somehow try and change someone's mind. I do not, however, have to take their feelings on as my truth. There is a boundary here and I will both enforce and honor it. I will feel uncomfortable for a bit as I learn to sit with this feeling. I will do the things that I know help calm the anxiety that this causes for me. I will take some time several times today to practice calming breathing and I will go for a physical release during the noontime spin class. I will not eat over what's eating me. Peace. |
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08-29-2008, 10:39 AM
| #73 (permalink) | ||
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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Quote:
I know that it is a HUGE character defect of mine that I WANT SO BADLY TO CHANGE!!!! I always let how others act and feel about things determine how I feel about myself... this is why I never wanted friends--or anyone in my life for that matter...it was always too complicated and painful---so my theory was "just stay away from me and I can't get hurt"...I see now that it's pretty immature of me to see the world that way but I guess part of getting better is seeing it all-the good, the bad and ugly--as it was, and how it is now. Thanks SOOOOOO much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! | ||
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08-31-2008, 09:41 AM
| #75 (permalink) |
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well....it was real touch and go last night but I made it  I wanted a big piece of cake at birthday nite so bad...but i went outside and had a cigerete instead...I know I know then when we went for dinner I had a t-bone, green beans, mash potatos and soup. If felt good and I wasn't hungry for sweets anymore when i left. have established some boundries for me, not for others, and it is helping thing. I just told one group that 2-3 hours of group actiity is just my limit. I think they were ok with that. I was tired of feeling like they were upset that I leave after 3 hours on friday nites. Also it was just really helpful for me to see for the first time that i sorta have that limit...i really wasn't aware of it. thanks so much to all of you and for all those PMs...I can't tell you how much it has helped to get me through what has been a dificult time. |
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