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| | #26 (permalink) |
| Member |
It really seems that SO is like saying to myself...I'm a failure, I'm not worth it...a bunch of real negative image stuff comes on and then I feed the thoughts, not just with more negative thoughts but with OS as well. I know that some of the roots for this are in my childhood...but it is so key that I not give up the right actions cause of a bad moment....or in this case longer. It's like the ultimate hate me action. OK so far but far from being on steady ground. I do have to focus on I won't want the sugar in a few minites... Thanks guys! |
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| | #27 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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I have looked over the ingredient lists on energy bars or food bars or whatever bars they are [other than they are not candy bars even though they look like it]. I have decided for the moment that they are not an OS. I keep them in the car as I work out of my car a lot...and when hunger hits...I want something I can easily control. I hope you are all OK. Take care. |
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| | #29 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 626
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Good morning all. I have come to understand that I am reactionary. I overreact, engage in distorted thinking, and in many ways, whip myself up into a frenzy. If I take some time to slow down and calm down, I give myself a better chance of responding in peace. If I work on not creating the "crisis" or anxiety in the first place, I stand a better chance of not responding in a disordered manner. Giving myself a chance is practicing self-care. Peace. |
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| | #30 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Almost 'me' again
Posts: 102
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Yeah, I'm still OS free since Monday. Yesterday was a bit harder but knowing I am accountable to you guys helped me through it. I put a bag a fresh grapes in my fridge so when I was craving sweet, I just grabbed a handful of those. Worked for today!!! Anana, I hear you on the feelings of not being worth it. That is the biggest trigger for me. When I get stressed I say the heck with it and 'not worth it' self talk starts flowing in my head. I just divorced (finalized less then a month ago). We were married 17 years (separated the last 3). He was an addict - so slowly being sucked into the codependent survival brain, I learned a ton of 'I'm not worth it' self talk that I can pull from to aid in my sugar binge. New self talk records need to be made for me to pull from. Then the trick will be pulling up the right ones when I get stressed.
__________________ Where two or more are gathered.....
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| | #31 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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There is a web-site called "The Affirmation Spot" that I found because it posted one of the "come from behind" stories in the Beijing Olympics. The Ollympians seem to say, I believe in myself...I can do it... I felt like an Olympian last night. I ignored the candy dishes that were at the AA meeting.. It was a very small moment in time. But, those small decisions help lay the foundation for my overall sobriety and recovery. |
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| | #32 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 626
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Today brings more uncomfortable feelings. I am a codependent and have been thoughtfully, non-aggressively enforcing my personal boundries. I am trying to stay out of the drama triangle so common to codependence. I know it is the right thing for me to do, as I no longer wish to have and harbor resentments due to violations, but it feels new, wrong and uncomfortable to be establishing and holding boundaries. I will try not stuff these feelings. I will not eat to soothe these feelings. I will acknowledge these feelings as part of a journey, progression to a whole. Peace. |
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| | #33 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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Congratulations, Rox, for working to establish and hold boundaries. Co-dependence is an issue with me also. I endanger my OS sobriety when I open closed boxes of donuts out at business places that I call on. I know what is probably inside...I don't need to check if any are left...I don't need to see if my former favorites ones are inside...I don't need to check my will power to see if I can walk away...I've been thourgh this many times before, so why do I decide to open the box yesterday??? I saw what I wanted and ate it. I will try again today to be OS sober. Take care all. |
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| | #34 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 626
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I will do the next right thing. I'm hungry and tired - not a good way to be going into a weekend. Weekends seem to be my most difficult time. I will be forced to sit through a work luncheon today with no real choice in the food, OS already on the table at my place setting and I'm going into it feeling a bit fragile. So I am going to take a few minutes to plan my response to this situation. As someone said upthread, there are so many factors that come into maintaining abstinence. Emotions, situations, planning, etc. Somedays it is a tough row to hoe. My goal is to make it as easy as possible for me to the next right thing. Whatever it takes. PS - Ananda, are you okay? Peace, y'all. |
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| | #36 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Almost 'me' again
Posts: 102
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I'm still hanging in there. I wanted you all to know that I don't know you well (yet) but you are already helping me. I have had many close calls but have thought of you and this forum and have been able to choose NOT to eat OS. One day at a time...today will be a success!!!! Thanks for all sharing on this forum.
__________________ Where two or more are gathered.....
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| | #39 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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wow-great posting guys-- I haven't been here in a while-at least it feels that way. Fortunately, 8/16/08 is still my date ![]() Have a Grrrrreeeatttttt Friday!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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| | #40 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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PS big hugs to (((((all)))) especially those struggling now!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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| | #42 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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I too had an OS free Friday however temptations are just around the corner... we know what to do when they strike....weather or not I do it is based on, well for me, lots of things I am seeing now...so for right now, I am doing the next right thing. Enjoy the day evertone! Ananda+Rox hope you both are feeling better Jack+Frog too and all
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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| | #43 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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Double-dipping today also...two times today and yesterday. Here's what I can do...I can establish boundaries...OS's are outside my boundaries for the moment...and I want them to be outside for the rest of the day. If I make it through the day....I will be grateful for the sobriety. |
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| | #45 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Vancouver
Posts: 159
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I slipped up yesterday so working on Day 1 again :S I wont be around for a few weeks as I have a few backpacking/canoeing trips that I will be away from a computer needless to say. It's going to be a great experience being sober as I paddle some amazing wilderness here in BC, Canada. To everyone keep on trying I know I will and being in the backcountry I will be able to plan for NO OS for 2 weeks which will be great!! Best wishes and talk to you all in September!
__________________ ______________________________ When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. Helen Keller |
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| | #46 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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Bruce-- I had some sherbert yesterday so I too have to set myself back to day 1 today. I won't be in the back country as you are so lucky to be for the next two weeks however I WILL remain OS free too. Before I knew it I had taste--I caught myself but I had 2 bowls after that..boy did I feel sick..why do I do that to myself? Who knows. All I do know is that it is so much easier to come back here this morning. Not that I want it to be "acceptable" for me to slip because it's not....but I did and I have to come right back, pick myself up+start over. EVERYTHING has sugar in it. OK I know what to do..I am going to a huge AA picnic today. I will bring my own food. It's better that way. I know there will be a lot of sweets, and high fat food. I hope everyone has a great day! Cali 8/24/08
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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| | #48 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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I was OS sober yesterday...I had no offerrings or cravings that I am aware of. It was relatively easy. I am going to a family fish fry...lots of desserts...I plan to look away from the desserts...and eat non-OS foods moderately. There is also a church picnic..I am not planning on going...but I was thinking about it...because there will be "tasty" foods....I don't need to sample because I will "graze" ...and even if I don't OS there...I will eat way too much between it and the family outing. Take care all.
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| | #49 (permalink) |
| Member |
taking a big platter of watermellon or a bunch of different pickled foods really helps me stay OS free. I am still off the OS.... My mom will be coming to help me before and after my surgery, so it is a relief to not have to worry about lining up a bunch of AA helpers to try and get through this. Can't believe what a relief this is. getting ready for the surgery was becoming a bigger deal then the surgery itself! If pecan pie had been on the restaurant's menu yesterday, I would have eaten it...fortunately it wasn't..so i made it. I hate how I feel like i'm not really trying right now. I am but I'm not if that makes any sense. I will be on some pain meds during my recovery from my hsytorectomy and bladder repair...it's not till sept 19th, but I'll check with you all and find someone else to post the stats for that week after as I'm a little afraid to post if I'm on those meds. so...need to do some real work on step 4 I think to try and understand and then work through this tremendous need to harm myself by distructive eating. I think I will work through this with someone other than my primary aa sponsor as i think it will be more helpful. Have any of you ever done something like that? |
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| | #50 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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I feel good this am...and I am going to try to list the things I really don't do anymore: 1. I don't buy candy bars, donuts, cookies, shakes, McDonalds pies, or desserts 2. At home, sugary foods (cereals) are no longer parts of my daily food intake Occassionally I slip...it is what it is...I don't want to slip on alcohol or drugs...but an OS slip is not the same thing. I want accountablility...and the accountability and the ES&H of others over the last couple of years here are responsible, I think, for the successes of changing the way I look at and have eaten OS's. That's enough out of me. Take care.. |
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