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| | #301 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 976
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About a month ago, the results of an MRI showed pinched nerves in the lower vertebrae of the neck. Generally, the pain has been mild, but a couple weeks ago I went to ER because of unbearable neck pain. Painkillers and muscle relaxer drugs were prescribed and taken. I was "loopie" while on them, and after the pain subsided, I stopped taking them. I have a dr appt next week. I have started taking some ibuprophen because the pain, though not as severe, is returning during the last couple days. I am up early now because I cannot sleep. I am grateful to come here. As Dave said, Nina, I hope your brother is going to be OK. Dave, for the last couple years, I really haven't had much in computer problems...but when I did and tried various on-line technical services...being around me was like walking on broken glass. I need to start over...I bought "No sugar added" ice cream and knocked it off in a couple days. My boy had a huge bag of M&M's that I have done some "controlled" tasting on...but. Generally my eating has been ok, but I haven't abstained...I need to get honest...so there it is. Take care all. Ananda - 11/1 - 6 Days GG - 11/3 - 4 Days Dave - 11/4 - 3 Days Nina -11/5 - 2 Days Cali - 11/5 - 2 Days Rox - 11/6 - 1 Day Jack - 11/7 - Day 1 Pony - 11/ Others - 11/ |
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| | #302 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 398
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Good morning group. I need to reboot yet again. My partner's snacks were too tempting last night. Today I will sit in the car for a few minutes and think about what my response will be if I walk in and the snacks are sitting out and visible on the cupboard. I will think about what my response will be if I open the cupboard looking for something else and see the snacks. I will make my decisions PRIOR to being faced with OS. Peace. |
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| | #303 (permalink) | ||
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
| Quote:
what you said really spoke to me......especially Quote:
my reading in "forgiveness and moving on" today spoke of "craving", and basically self abuse when we continually give in to craving etc...hang on I will post it:
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! | ||
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| | #304 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
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Craving November 7 Today I recognize that constantly craving things keeps me locked in a cycle of bingeing and purging the stuff of life. The world can only give me so much. My true happiness lies in the realization and communication of my self and my Higher Power. When I think that I need a now car, house or person in order to be happy, I am not recognizing that my real happiness does not depend upon moving the externals of my life around. When I am at peace with myself, I will be able to see clearly what I need to create for satisfaction. I will let go of the feeling that I will only be happy when I give all my power away to things and people outside myself. Contentment is an inside job; until I can feel it within me, nothing I do outside will have a lasting effect. I see craving as a cycle of self-abuse. __________ What poison is to food, self-pity is to life. Oliver C. Wilson Daily Affirmations For Forgiving & Moving On Powerful Inspiration for Personal Change Tian Dayton, Ph.D.
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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| | #305 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 976
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It may well be that true recovery success lies in finding that personal relationship with a Higher Power of each's understanding. I don't know if I will have that personal kind of relationship. I am where I am. For me, that's good enough for today. I am grateful for you all. Take care. Ananda - 11/1 - 7 Days GG - 11/3 - 5 Days Dave - 11/4 - 4 Days Nina -11/5 - 3 Days Cali - 11/5 - 3 Days Jack - 11/7 - 1 Day Rox - 11/7 - 1 Day Pony - 11/ Others - 11/ |
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| | #306 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 10,122
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I never made it past 1 guys...start me over I haven't had OS today. I'de love to blame it on halloween, but for me thats crazy...i didn't even try. But today is a new day and I've made it so far and read here and I think i can make it through to tomarrow. It really sucks to go back to larger sizes...i know thats just the surface stuff so doesn't really matter...but honestly i still ccare about that...i'll be 50 in about 3 weeks..... We are going to walmart in a little bit and I will ask my son to keep the sweets in his temporary bedroom along with the liquer so I won't be so tempted...but it has to come from inside I know. |
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| | #307 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 10,122
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wow...it isn't much, but since i posted here I went to the store and bought no OS, and then after dinner they had pecan pie on the menu...one of my biggest chalenges....and i said no.....the crazy thing is the amount of time i had to spend in my head debating that peice of pie....it just doesn't seem like it should be so hard. It is the first time I have said no to an OS in a long long long time! Thanks guys. |
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| | #309 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
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yeah-I don't really have any connection to a "higher power" either it seems.. when I posted that reading, I don't even "see" the "higher power" lines..my brain focus on the other key words that I can relate to like: constantly craving, locked in a cycle of bingeing and purging, needing outside material things for happiness, or other people, and the greatest line for me was "Contentment is an inside job; until I can feel it within me, nothing I do outside will have a lasting effect---I see craving as a cycle of self-abuse." SO please don't think I was in ANY way "pushing the HP thing...I may have at one point really thought that was "it" for me, but I am not so sure now. I seem to fail at just about everyhting except not drinking.
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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| | #310 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 10,122
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wow....i am finishing up day 2 of no obvious sweets. I kept real busy. Now tomarrow I will have candy available at work nd i'll see if i can handle that. My HP is the law of cause adn effect and it has a great impact on how i deal with OS. |
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| | #311 (permalink) |
| Accepting Myself As Is Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 2,339
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Hi Cali, Jack, Dave, Pony, Roxie, Ananda, & GG. Wow ! It's sooooo good to see you all still here and some coming back here recently, as I am also. It's very encouraging to see that we are all serious about keeping on trying and trying to stay abstinent from OS. I'm sure of one thing, and that's that each of us are surely taking in alot less sweets than we did before we came to this forum and thread the very first time. I know that when I do eat sweets or even binge these days, I don't consume even half as much as I did before coming here. Over all, I really hardly ever have any sweets, I just don't string very many days together at one time, as being completely abstinent. I am encouraged at my progress when I look back at the beginning of starting to be part of this thread. I think that everyone of us here can say the same thing. Thanks everyone for being a big part of my improvement. I certainly couldn't have done it without each one of you. ((((((((((((((Loving Appreciation Hugs)))))))))))))))))
__________________ Acceptance is key to my Serenity. Nina Kay |
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| | #312 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 398
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Very interesting discussion/opinions on HP. I find it pretty easy to get all tangled up and rebellious about the concept of HP, so for right now I look at my HP as nothing more than the absolute goodness available in me and in the universe. I do okay with the spirituality, it's the religion that will trip me up if I let it. So I'm practicing some acceptance with myself and am not forcing myself into something that I'm having difficulty with. I'm doing what I can, when I can. I'm seeing people whom I love struggle with self-disdain over body size - my daughter specifically. It pains me to hear her refer to herself in such an unloving manner, although I realize that I've done the same thing to myself for years and years. It's hard to come out from under all that negativity and self-scorn, but I'm working on accepting myself as I am. The number on the scale is just a number and not a reflection of who I am as a person. It was easy to speak with love and tenderness to my daughter over these issues and I'm trying to treat myself the same way. I wish us all peace. It appears that I'm going to ramble today - feel free to click away. Peace - that's another interesting concept that's been in the forefront of my life recently. My partner is an active alcoholic and is talking about quitting drinking. In our conversations over the weekend I expressed to him my wish for him to stop drinking AND attain a peace about those things which compel the behavior. So again, I wish us all peace. Roxie |
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| | #313 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 10,122
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I have walked past the candy jar 6 or 7 times so far....i do a stutter walk ![]() My 'instinct is to go over and get some, so I sorta wobble at the corner of the desk and continue on. So....I'm on day 3! This is the first time I've had a day 3 in a long long long time...but i do feel pretty shakey...i just hope no one comes in to offer me something really good...one of the advantages of # days is that it is sorta an incentive and helps me be more determined. Roxie....sending love and peace your way! Nina...I know that when I stoped posting here I quickly went back to my sugar filled diet...so I think this place really helps. Thanks all |
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| | #314 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,675
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I need to be restarted as well Jack. I have been off work for a few days and I had some work lined up that would have earned a few quid and helped out a lot with the finances. Unfortunately, I couldn't do it as I have been having bad pains in my stomach and spent a large chunk of today at the doctors and the hospital. Blood test results next week, and with a loss of earning and not being able to exercise I slipped up after leaving the hospital. I was starving and could have chosen something healthy to eat but I didn't and tomorrow will have to be another start. I know we have had the HP/willpower thing before, but I always feel that if I achieve anything or fail at anything then ultimately that is down to ME. However, we all need a helping hand and I am always grateful to read all your posts and they always give me renewed determination. Best wishes with your partner Roxie, I have been with my wife for 19 years and have really put her through it with alcohol in that time. I am sober now for 14 months and much as I know this is what she wants, she still watches from afar. I hope between the two of you, you can crack this. Best wishes all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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| | #315 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
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I am thinking about trying hypnosis and or accupuncture to get back on track. Does anyone here have any experience with either? I have NO time here...and am disgusted with myself..5 short months ago I was flying high-doing the right things and feeling great... ps I don;t even want to post becasue of my negativity-but I know that it is better for me to at least type something.
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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| | #317 (permalink) |
| Accepting Myself As Is Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 2,339
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I am so so happy to say that I have made it through the 6th day of abstinence from OS. It's a miracle for sure !!!! Tomorrow remains to be seen, but I haven't had 6 consecutive days without sugar in a very long time. Thanks so much everyone for your encouragement & support. (((((((((Group Hugs))))))))
__________________ Acceptance is key to my Serenity. Nina Kay |
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| | #318 (permalink) |
| Accepting Myself As Is Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 2,339
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Hey Roxie, isn't it funny how we talk so differently to the people that we love when they are down, than we talk to ourselves about the same personal problems. So much self-disdain and intolerance of our own weaknesses when we don't love ourselves as a person too. Something to think about for sure. I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is having to deal with all of this too. Hi Ananda. I think that being clean from OS for 3 days is a great accomplishment. You should be proud of yourself. I hope that no one stuck anything tempting in your face today. I do understand how hard it is to deal with that. Dave, I always slip when I am starving too. If I let myself get too hungry I know that I'm in trouble. I'm sorry to hear that you are in such great pain. I hope that everything turns out good with your health. It sounds like you've worked yourself right into a stomach ulcer. I do hope that I turn out to be wrong. Take care of yourself and try to think healthy positive thoughts. That always helps me to feel better when I can make myself do it. Congratulations on 14 months sober. That is a really awesome accomplishment. ((((((((((((((Feel Better Hugs)))))))))))))
__________________ Acceptance is key to my Serenity. Nina Kay |
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| | #319 (permalink) |
| Accepting Myself As Is Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here @ SR.
Posts: 2,339
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Cali, I do remember when you were doing so good. Please don't give up, something will click again with you soon. I just know it. I don't have any experience with what you are talking about, but I have thought of hypnosis before. Let me know if you do try it. I'm very glad that you made yourself post anyway. Not wanting to share the negativity that I was feeling and bring others down with me is the biggest reason that I didn't post all that time. It was a big mistake on my part, so I'm happy that you didn't make the same one that I did. This Too Shall Pass. Please keep on posting in the meantime. ((((((((((((((Caring Hugs)))))))))) Oh GG, You are too funny !!!!! Organic cookies ?????
__________________ Acceptance is key to my Serenity. Nina Kay |
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| | #320 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 10,122
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I made it!!!! ![]() no sweets at work and then didn't go for the pie after dinner out with friends...so I am closing down day 3 and looking forward to a day 4. It seems clear that posting helps. I know I may not always be able to do this, but at this point 4 days is great and i do see this as one choice at a time. Cali....i am glad you are here. If people post when it isn't going well it helps me to feel like trying again when I struggle with day 1 over and over. Thanks to all of you!:ghug |
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| | #321 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
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Wow the encouragement here!!! THANKS ALL!! I heard Dave's voice in my head last night--it boils down to "ME"---and I am ready to give it another shot starting today!!! Dave I hope you are feeling better soon. Nina thanks so much for all the support-I really need it now more than ever!! Rox-Anan-GG-Pony-Jack and all:ghug Today I will choose Hope over fear!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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| | #323 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 976
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HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! to all!!!!!!!! I slipped...and I didn't want to come back and say it again....and I'm negative about the log's accountablility for me....because I thought with me doing the log that it was going to work for me as it did in the past...and it hasn't...I am still carrying me inside my head. I read some of the posts yesterday or the day before...and didn't bother to log in. But, as others has said...this is a safe place...I need to come here for ES&H...I read all the posts from the date of the last log... and I laughed with GG on whether "hoovering down organic cookies" was a relapse...and I am concerned about Dave's health...and I am humbled by Nina's unconditional support for everyone and am proud you have six days...and I am with Cali because I once had a long string of days OS sober...and I am proud to be associated with Ananda who has found the strength to put 3 days together...and I am dazzled with the hope that Roxie shows... I am back for today...and I hope for tomorrow....Take care all. Nina -11/5 - 6 Days Rox - 11/7 - 4 Days Ananda - 11/8 - 3 Days GG - 11/11 - Day 1 Dave - 11/11 - Day 1 Cali - 11/11 - Day 1 Jack - 11/11 - Day 1 Pony - 11/ Others - 11/ |
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| | #324 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 398
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Jack, you are an awesome person; awesome for your compassion in your willingness to bring ESH to us and Awesome in your courage for your honesty. I am very glad you continue to come here and I know that I am not alone. Thank you for your service. |
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| | #325 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,005
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I am not going to focus on anything but OS's. What I mean by that, is becasue of my "extremist" nature, I tend to be an "all or nothing" person so when I say I am going to abstain from OS's, I usually tie every other "bad" food with it...so for now, I am committing myself to focus on remaining free of OS's in my diet and in my life. If I have a popato chip or pasta, I am not going to worry. It's one thing at a time here. I need to feel some accomplishment here. So far ALL of today has been OS FREE!!!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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