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05-24-2008, 03:34 AM
| #51 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe  Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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Thanks ananda- I really like what you said and totally agree with it. I must live and let live but then again go into that "jail"....I really needed to hear what you said... I have totally forgot that this is a big drinking weekend...I mean yes I had other things going on-but to tell the truth, I just don't think about drinking or holidays the way I used to..my brain now naturally defaults to so many other things. I am really grateful for that. Thanks again for letting me rant. But I got it out, didn't bindge, and am getting great feedback. Doesn't get any better  Have a nice, safe weekend everyone-
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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05-24-2008, 04:12 AM
| #52 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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As of May 23rd: CALI -97 MIKE -12 CONEZ -9 JACK -7 NINA -7 ANANDA -2 DAVE On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE ODAAT PONY ROXIE SUGAR MAGNOLIA Best wishes all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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05-24-2008, 07:03 AM
| #53 (permalink) |
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Yipee! Well, I am going to the farmers market....and whats hard is they have really great pecan pie. So that will be challange number one. Then tomarrow I go to coffee clutch and last week I bought a pecan pie that we are going to bake there. Didn't know I would be doing this! As you can probably tell - pecan pie is a real love of mine. Love to pretend it's nuts not OS.....but that's like so silly  I'll check in later. |
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05-24-2008, 01:46 PM
| #54 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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I talked to the two guys in AA who know me...and I talked to my theripist on the phone for 20 mintues while he was on his cell phone waiting for a stalled train to pass. AA 1 says I need to get at the root of what is causing me to give this other person so much of my energy and thinking. AA 2 says in a way that people who, for whatever reason, are against us...are trying to make us drink the Kool-aid (like in Jimtown if you remember) and he is not going to let anyone make him drink the Koolaid.... and the theripist says there may be some unresolved fears inside me that this guy elicits. I don't know. I will just try to stay sober in all areas of my life today. |
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05-24-2008, 07:04 PM
| #55 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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I really hope that I learned from this experience. I don't want to have to post such nonsense again any time soon : ) Tomorrow I have to go to a family gathering, and someone from my past will be there. I have to remember that I am not that person I was in the past, and I don't have to "hide" today... Actually I really need to cut myself some slack...I've been through a lot in the past few months....I am glad all that rediculous stuff happened recently...it really helped me to get a grip on today, right now---and see that I am really doing well I am really happy despite going through the loss of my dad. I don't usually say "hey ya know what---I'm OK and doing the best that I can today". I pledge to cut myself some slack for this long weekend! *no cheating on my food plan though
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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05-24-2008, 08:11 PM
| #56 (permalink) |
| Member |
I blew it. I will start again tomarrow. I ate 1/2 of a pecan pie. Then I felt sick and have had sugar high/lo problems, lack motivation, etc. I guess the only good thing is that I actually noticed what it did to me since I had been off and then really binged on it big time. I sure don't have any cravings right now. So - starting over this is how i feel right now  |
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05-25-2008, 04:33 AM
| #57 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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As of May 24th: CALI -98 MIKE -13 CONEZ -10 JACK -8 NINA -8 ANANDA -working on 1 DAVE On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE ODAAT PONY ROXIE SUGAR MAGNOLIA Best wishes all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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05-25-2008, 05:58 AM
| #58 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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sorry you feel sick ananda. When I do those sorts of things, I'm glad I feel sick-it reminds me how I don't want to feel again! I am going to take a walk in a short while. It is so nice out here today. I hope you all enjoy the day, whatever you do!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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05-26-2008, 02:04 AM
| #59 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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As of May 25th: CALI -99 MIKE -14 CONEZ -11 JACK -9 NINA -9 ANANDA -1 DAVE On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE ODAAT PONY ROXIE SUGAR MAGNOLIA
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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05-26-2008, 02:35 AM
| #60 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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Nearly there Cali, and best wishes today on your 100th day. I have been feeling a bit down for the last few days, I can't really put my finger on it and I guess that at times I drift into negative thoughts( even though I don't want to ), and struggle for a while to get out of it. I don't want to drink and I don't want to eat any OS and I am certain of those. My eating is up and down with other foods and I know if I don't eat well then I feel lethargic when there is loads to do. I am the lightest I have been for years and in many ways things are on the up and certainly a big improvement from last year. Our financial position is as ever a worry, I am working a lot and earning a lot, but it is demoralising to see it all going out. I think that I rely on exercise as well to make me feel good and it gives me a positive buzz, the weather has been atrocious these last few days so that has been out of the question. My wife is asleep as she worked late, as is my boy as we stayed up late watching a film. My daughter slept over at a friends for a Birthday party, so it gives me a chance to put a few thoughts down while the house is quiet. With regards to people and how they affect us, I was getting a bit of hassle from some guy at work. I get on well with a group of lads who are his best mates, if I was on my own with him he would be fine but with everyone else around he would make sarcastic comments. I thought up a few put downs for him and threw them in when he had his little gang around. They loved it and he was gobsmacked. Now he talks to me in a more civil manner, I am not saying it was right but it took away the desire to punch his lights out. This was last year, I think now I would just confront him and explain how I saw it and ask him why he acted the way he did. Sorry for going on, my boy has surfaced so battle has begun. Jack, hope you are okay today and best wishes to all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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05-26-2008, 03:36 AM
| #61 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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Dave I do relate to the pondering (negative) thoughts at times...when I find that an "entirely new scenario" has been created in my head (and only there) I ask HP to just take it. I always think of that saying I hear over and over again at my meeting: "my mind in like a bad neighborhood-I shouldn't be there alone"...it snaps things in perspective for me. So-your post leads me to this thought for the day..... It is very clear to me is that our (all of us) issues, feelings, situations with family and friends, financial anxieties (and the list goes on) is on so many levels "relative" to what we all go through---to what we all feel at times..........the ins and outs--trials and tribulations of life..thanks for reminding me that I am not unique. I do hope the weather improves there...I don't know what part you're in, but I remember visiting Hertfordshire (sp) years ago and wow-when it rained, it "rained"!!! The most important thing I need to remember today is that I cannot drink or drug safely, period. Everything else is a bonus. It's a sneaky "dis-ease" always waiting to reunite with me....that's why I have to get the "stupid" stuff out at times.... Thanks...and thanks for the well-wish...I can't believe I made it...hope I can continue! I am off to a morning meeting then a parade to honor our Veterans, past and present. Everyone, stay out of your own heads today! Go help someone and do something nice for YOU--- that's an order!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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05-26-2008, 04:47 AM
| #62 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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I am touched by the honesty and caring ts...and I am touched by the words and deeds of those we honor on Memorial Day. Our town has its 68th Annual Memorial Day services with a local high school band, speeches, beverages and hot dogs, root beer floats...and I am grateful to be part of it for the 30 years I've lived here. It's early, and I need to leave. I hope to be back soon. My best to each of you. Best wishes, Cali, on your continuing OS sobriety. It is an achievement I would love to have for myself today. |
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05-27-2008, 03:34 AM
| #65 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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I hope today is a better day than yesterday was....it was just "one of those days".. It has been so nice to be off for three days...now the reality is here, have to go back today... I'll do the next right thing, as much as I want to call out...I only called out when I was hung over too badly to go in... so-I'll go, and I'll be fine!! Have a great day!!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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05-27-2008, 08:42 AM
| #67 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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As of May 26th: CALI - 100 DAYS CONGRATULATIONS   MIKE -15 CONEZ -12 JACK -10 NINA -10 ANANDA -1 DAVE On hiatus : BARB DWYER GOLDIE ODAAT PONY ROXIE SUGAR MAGNOLIA
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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05-27-2008, 08:47 AM
| #68 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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Congratulations and best wishes Cali on your 100 days. Thank you also for all your thoughts, insights and encouragement. Hope you have a good day today, best wishes everyone else also. 
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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05-27-2008, 09:36 AM
| #69 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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Congrats again Cali, and thanks to GG and Dave for continuing to maintain the days of OS abstinance. GG, its good to read your post, and Dave, you add the fireworks to celebrate Cali's 100 days...I never learned how to do add those icons...but I am glad you and others have....It looks great. Today, I am going to miss a face to face meeting in another fellowship that I belong to. I need to talk to my sponsor about that. I hope I am free from self-medicating myself through OS's today. Take care. |
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05-27-2008, 08:32 PM
| #70 (permalink) |
| Member |
Looks like I made it another day. It wasn't even too hard. I was busy not making my deadline again at work (deadline was last Friday at 5pm). I feel pretty good about going into day 3. Thanks all for your help so far. Even though I messed up after all that extra help the other day, I think the fact that I binged on the pecan pie after going without OS for several days sort of helped me to see the sugar effect more clearly. thanks especially to dave cali and jack!!!! |
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05-28-2008, 03:30 AM
| #71 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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thanks guys--I really appreciate it. It really is tough some days! It seems that we are bombarded with "sugar" in one way or another, every where we turn. I love the firework display though Dave-made it all worth it I was talking to a family member last night...they reminded me the last time I hit 100 days here how I started eating sugar on day "101"...that was one of the worst food benders especially having so much time together here/.....then packing on an extra 20+pounds....I have to remember these things and say them out loud so I don't forget, and don't repeat.... I am bringing my walking shoes to work with me. I know that getting out of that place even for 20 minutes a day and getting fresh air WILL shift my "discontent" that I am feeling....it's all about "into action" for me...I fight it to the core but once I do it--I think how did I ever wait this long? You guys are great-thanks for all the support--and (((ananda))) you are so dear! Just keep at it one day at a time!! and keep posting I know it has helped (ok saved) me a time or two!! I will do something nice for someone else today, and maybe myself too!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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05-28-2008, 08:53 AM
| #73 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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Thank you all....good actions have been taking place. It's absolutely great reading!!! I need to feel good about myself today. I can by doing some "esteemable" actions. I have already exercised...and I could do more stuff for me...but I am being paid by others who want me to do stuff for them. Sometimes I do....and sometimes, I don't...and I still collect. I feel the ledger with one client of mine is not near even...I owe some results to him for what he pays me. I need to work and perform for others today...despite being tempted to kick back by beautiful weather...to just enjoy life in the sun. Even if I am free from OS and my other primary addictions today...that may not be "esteemable" enough for me today. Thanks, and take care all. |
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05-28-2008, 10:10 AM
| #74 (permalink) | |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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I really needed to hear this today....thank you.
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! | |
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05-28-2008, 03:17 PM
| #75 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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As of May 27th: CALI -101 MIKE -16 CONEZ -13 JACK -11 NINA -11 ANANDA -2 DAVE On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE ODAAT PONY ROXIE SUGAR MAGNOLIA Best wishes all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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