#6 100 Day Goal - Abstainance from Obvious Sweets - Want to Join? Please Do! - Page 20 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

ananda · 08-06-2008, 09:51 AM

As of August 5th (Tuesday):

ROXIE -8
LILY -28
JACK -12
ODAAT - working on 1
ANANDA -2

On hiatus:

BARB DWYER
GOLDIE
MIKE
NINA
PONY

ananda · 08-06-2008, 10:35 AM

Well...don't have to worry about the brownie date! Its strange that I'm not feeling the need for OS or drinking. I had a talk with my friend last night and friendship is all it's going to be. This is a particularly difficult time for me (not like others don't struggle too) as I have been single and happy for 15 years and did even want to have any feelings like this toward a man. Sorry if this is too much info.

So...why am I not turning to OS? I'm sorta guessing I'm shut down right now and that maybe that is ok. I will need to put a plan in place for how to deal with my emotional reaction to this when I unfreeze a little...otherwise I am likely to binge away the blues.

So...I'll call my sponsor, post to SR, try to go to a meeting. Any ideas on what people do with emotions instead of eat?

cali · 08-06-2008, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Pony:
I have been going through the grieving and loss process and food has taken a huge back seat. I am not doing as well as Cali did through her time of it....

(((((all)))))

I am so sorry if anyone feels abandoned....
I hate myself right now, that's why I am not here!! I found out last week that my surrogate dad is dying.....he has cancer and was given a two year flag.....

I HATE EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW..................................

I, on and off for 6 days, ate sweets.............................

today is day one for me, I have been free today...................

I "controlled" my eating for 5 months........I "sailed" through my dad's death........
I haven't truly delt with it...I see this clearly now that another father figure in my life faces this......

HE is going through this, NOT ME......I must act with grace and dignity..........

If I EVER NEEDED HELP IT'S NOW................

I see now that the only reason I want to "stop" doing things that are working for me, is when I am on the WRONG TRACK.......I have messages in my mail box but for some reason I can't access them on this work computer.....

please forgive me, I'm sorry....
i'm a mess....

ananda · 08-06-2008, 09:41 PM

Cali....you are not a mess...you are a human being going through a very difficult time. Each of us will have times of having to go through these things. We are heree to support you in any way we can.

When I do my daily inventory I write "things I did well" and "things I could have done better". Maybe your food choices were not the wisest, but you came here and posted and asked for help...and that is great!

Sent you a pm too. Please keep comeing back and sharing so that we can learn from your expereince and support you through yours.

ananda · 08-07-2008, 06:19 AM

As of August 6th (Wednesday):

ROXIE -9
LILY -29
JACK -13
ODAAT - working on 1
ANANDA -3

On hiatus:

BARB DWYER
GOLDIE
MIKE
NINA
PONY

ananda · 08-07-2008, 06:23 AM

cake at the meeting, someones 25th aniversery. She offered me a peice adn I said no...i'm not eating sweets right now. She acted offended and pushed me to eat a peice. I told her no I cant i'm on day 3, but I am eating cake with you in my heart. She immediately was accepting...it was like saying i was on day 3 made her understand that it wasn't something i was turning down lightly. She is a fairly close acquantance by the way.

there was a time when I couldn't have said no twice. Grateful for the growth.

roxiestone · 08-07-2008, 09:39 AM

Peace, y'all.

cali · 08-07-2008, 02:49 PM

thank you ananda-I appreciate it so much. You are right..I get so darn hard on myself..
I am doing the best I can today. I am going to go read the PM

ananda · 08-08-2008, 06:47 AM

As of August 7th (Thursday):

ROXIE -10
LILY -30
JACK -14
ODAAT - working on 1
ANANDA -4

On hiatus:

BARB DWYER
GOLDIE
MIKE
NINA
PONY

ananda · 08-08-2008, 06:49 AM

Still waiting for the feelings to kick in. I didn't have any OS desires, but you know I had a dental procedure that required drugs...so that may be why. I'm still in frozen state.

I already told my friends that I bbq with that I cna't eat the brownies tonight, so should be ok.

Let us know how you all are doing!:ghug

roxiestone · 08-08-2008, 06:50 AM

Good morning all,

Still working my program. Scales are cooperating a bit, which is nice. However my focus has been on logging my food and keeping fully honest with that. It all starts with me getting honest with myself.

Peace.

smiling jack · 08-08-2008, 08:53 AM

I continue to learn by coming here. I'm grateful for the ES&H I find. One day at a time.

**Pony** · 08-08-2008, 09:17 PM

Cali, I am sorry if I triggered anything there. I must apologize for putting you on the spot there.... I just meant that you seemed to do really well with your food while wading through the grief process. I am sorry to hear that yet another person, who is close to you, is dying. It is a helpless feeling to know that you are going to lose someone you love and there is nothing you can do. But spending the best time you can wth that person si probably the best thing.

A mess...... yep, that's the way I feel right now. But you know, ananda is right... we are just humans working our way through each day.

{{{Cali}}}

{{{Ananda}}} thanks for you service. It is grately appreciated

smiling jack · 08-09-2008, 05:16 AM

We are all doing the best we can. Life is what it is. I want to be OS sober today. Take care all.

ananda · 08-09-2008, 02:59 PM

Well, I ate the brownies today. I don't even know what I can learn from this. So...I will continue to strive. Emotional stress..over emotion or shutting off of emotions seems to relate to this somehow.

I think as long as I have this illusion that it does something for me, I will continue to struggle...I know alchohol still did something for me, but know that I don't get that ease as a viable choice today...haven't seemed to reach that point yet on OS...There is another way to be open and honest besides stuffing myself with sugar to get the mood that allows me to spurt out the stuff I need to say.

Just thinking this through.

Am back on track again and just hope that I will find a way to learn and move on....

ananda · 08-09-2008, 03:00 PM

As of August 8th (Friday):

ROXIE -11
LILY -31
JACK -15
ODAAT - working on 1
ANANDA -5, but now working on 1

On hiatus:

BARB DWYER
GOLDIE
MIKE
NINA
PONY

cali · 08-09-2008, 04:23 PM

(((Pony))) you in no way put me on the spot

I am so glad I was able to come and say that I slipped. Yes, I did a great job while I was working it so I give myself credit there but the most important thing for me is to come here, be honest, and not let "shame" keep me in the dark. I have work to do for sure. My friend with cancer has an amazing atitude! We have spent time talking for longer periods of time in the past few days. He is telling me everything that he is going through...I listen to every word. I am so there--right there in the moment. I would do anything to help him...I mean I wish I could give him something of mine to help him get better----like a kidney--or bone marrow---anything I would so do it. Come to think of it I may put myself on that list---I may be able to help someone live.
That's pretty powerful.
(((((all))))))

smiling jack · 08-09-2008, 10:59 PM

I'm ok today, regardless that I chose to eat a lot of OS's today. It was an OS buffet at an outdoor party. I'll be honest...and say that I want to eat healthily (sp?) tomorrow. Nothing was eating me tonight...but I ate OS's just because I could. Sick thinking. Tomorrow is another day. Take care all.

ananda · 08-10-2008, 07:30 AM

As of August 9th (Saturday):

ROXIE -12
LILY -32
JACK -working on 1
ODAAT - working on 1
ANANDA -working on 1

On hiatus:

BARB DWYER
GOLDIE
MIKE
NINA
PONY

roxiestone · 08-10-2008, 07:37 AM

Good morning everyone.

Staying on track. Thinking warm and good thoughts for us all.

Peace.

ananda · 08-10-2008, 07:42 AM

Thanks Jack...maybe I should keep it that simple. There does seem to be a kernal of self hate in my OS slips...like I'll show you I'll eat OS adn be a failure since I already feel like one.

but in another way, it is just as simple as I want it and I'm going to have it.

Itched all day and the dogs wouldn't stop licking me...always an indication of my physical OS problem. I could binge in secrecy, but my dogs would still know!

Roxie and Lilly...It's good to see it can be done one day at a time.

Jack...again thanks

Cali - I like your idea. I can't always help the person I want to help, but I can usually help someone. I don't always get to choose who or the form the help takes...glad you are moving on with your path.

Pony...yeah, we all try to always do the perfect thing

But honestly, for me when I eat the sugar, some one else may appear to "trigger" me, but I am usually the one who put the bullets in and the gun to my head! The intent to love is a wonderful thing and if we all ran around afraid to help each other cause we might "do the wrong thing" it would be a pretty pathetic world...beleive me I am questioning my amazing ability to put my foot in my mouth this week

Thanks to all of you!!!!

ananda · 08-11-2008, 05:35 AM

As of August 10th (Sunday):

ROXIE -13
LILY -33
JACK -1
ODAAT - working on 1
ANANDA -working on 1

On hiatus:

BARB DWYER
GOLDIE
MIKE
NINA
PONY

roxiestone · 08-11-2008, 06:33 AM

I read this over the weekend:

Try every day to have a diet of inspirational reading or watching; this will help in turbulent times to release you from your self absorbed thought-prison and back on the road to actively look for a way forward.

I consider this place to be inspirational, along with a few others. Today I will concentrate on helping and supporting others and try to be less self-absorbed.

Peace.

smiling jack · 08-11-2008, 06:55 AM

Thanks to all...indeed we are all inspirational...we have more good inside of that must come out...I have been mentally and emotionally sick in the past...and I want to be well.
OS abstinance can help me be mentally focussed on doing what is good for me.

bruce24 · 08-12-2008, 03:55 AM

Oooo... its about time i ventured out of the newcomers to recovery. Glad I found this thread...as someone who over eats sweets whenever they are in front of me I would love to join in and try and keep sweets free for as long as possible. I have been finding when I am eating right my recovery and overall mood is much easier to cope with. I dunno what it is about eating right and drinking only water but it just puts me in a better place and the obvious of actually losing weight!

So...if I may I'd like to join in as working on Day 1!

Your continued work at avoiding these little tasty temptations is admirable and seems like I'll have a better shot at it if I can be held accountable!

Best wishes,
Bruce

08-07-2008, 02:49 PM	#483 (permalink)
cali came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast Posts: 1,005	thank you ananda-I appreciate it so much. You are right..I get so darn hard on myself.. I am doing the best I can today. I am going to go read the PM __________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be!

08-08-2008, 09:17 PM	#488 (permalink)
Pony Forum Leader Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: trail of discovery Posts: 2,391	Cali, I am sorry if I triggered anything there. I must apologize for putting you on the spot there.... I just meant that you seemed to do really well with your food while wading through the grief process. I am sorry to hear that yet another person, who is close to you, is dying. It is a helpless feeling to know that you are going to lose someone you love and there is nothing you can do. But spending the best time you can wth that person si probably the best thing. A mess...... yep, that's the way I feel right now. But you know, ananda is right... we are just humans working our way through each day. {{{Cali}}} {{{Ananda}}} thanks for you service. It is grately appreciated __________________ "Failure is an EVENT, it is not a person – yesterday really did end last night, and today is your brand new day..." .........unknown The sun always rises, and a new day begins.

08-09-2008, 04:23 PM	#492 (permalink)
cali came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast Posts: 1,005	(((Pony))) you in no way put me on the spot I am so glad I was able to come and say that I slipped. Yes, I did a great job while I was working it so I give myself credit there but the most important thing for me is to come here, be honest, and not let "shame" keep me in the dark. I have work to do for sure. My friend with cancer has an amazing atitude! We have spent time talking for longer periods of time in the past few days. He is telling me everything that he is going through...I listen to every word. I am so there--right there in the moment. I would do anything to help him...I mean I wish I could give him something of mine to help him get better----like a kidney--or bone marrow---anything I would so do it. Come to think of it I may put myself on that list---I may be able to help someone live. That's pretty powerful. (((((all)))))) __________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be!

08-12-2008, 03:55 AM	#500 (permalink)
bruce24 Member Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Vancouver Posts: 158	Oooo... its about time i ventured out of the newcomers to recovery. Glad I found this thread...as someone who over eats sweets whenever they are in front of me I would love to join in and try and keep sweets free for as long as possible. I have been finding when I am eating right my recovery and overall mood is much easier to cope with. I dunno what it is about eating right and drinking only water but it just puts me in a better place and the obvious of actually losing weight! So...if I may I'd like to join in as working on Day 1! Your continued work at avoiding these little tasty temptations is admirable and seems like I'll have a better shot at it if I can be held accountable! Best wishes, Bruce __________________ ______________________________ When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us. Helen Keller

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08-06-2008, 09:51 AM	#476 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	As of August 5th (Tuesday): ROXIE -8 LILY -28 JACK -12 ODAAT - working on 1 ANANDA -2 On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE MIKE NINA PONY

08-06-2008, 10:35 AM	#477 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	Well...don't have to worry about the brownie date! Its strange that I'm not feeling the need for OS or drinking. I had a talk with my friend last night and friendship is all it's going to be. This is a particularly difficult time for me (not like others don't struggle too) as I have been single and happy for 15 years and did even want to have any feelings like this toward a man. Sorry if this is too much info. So...why am I not turning to OS? I'm sorta guessing I'm shut down right now and that maybe that is ok. I will need to put a plan in place for how to deal with my emotional reaction to this when I unfreeze a little...otherwise I am likely to binge away the blues. So...I'll call my sponsor, post to SR, try to go to a meeting. Any ideas on what people do with emotions instead of eat?

08-06-2008, 09:41 PM	#479 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	Cali....you are not a mess...you are a human being going through a very difficult time. Each of us will have times of having to go through these things. We are heree to support you in any way we can. When I do my daily inventory I write "things I did well" and "things I could have done better". Maybe your food choices were not the wisest, but you came here and posted and asked for help...and that is great! Sent you a pm too. Please keep comeing back and sharing so that we can learn from your expereince and support you through yours.

08-07-2008, 06:19 AM	#480 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	As of August 6th (Wednesday): ROXIE -9 LILY -29 JACK -13 ODAAT - working on 1 ANANDA -3 On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE MIKE NINA PONY

08-07-2008, 06:23 AM	#481 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	cake at the meeting, someones 25th aniversery. She offered me a peice adn I said no...i'm not eating sweets right now. She acted offended and pushed me to eat a peice. I told her no I cant i'm on day 3, but I am eating cake with you in my heart. She immediately was accepting...it was like saying i was on day 3 made her understand that it wasn't something i was turning down lightly. She is a fairly close acquantance by the way. there was a time when I couldn't have said no twice. Grateful for the growth.

08-07-2008, 09:39 AM	#482 (permalink)
roxiestone Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 398	Peace, y'all.

08-08-2008, 06:47 AM	#484 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	As of August 7th (Thursday): ROXIE -10 LILY -30 JACK -14 ODAAT - working on 1 ANANDA -4 On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE MIKE NINA PONY

08-08-2008, 06:49 AM	#485 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	Still waiting for the feelings to kick in. I didn't have any OS desires, but you know I had a dental procedure that required drugs...so that may be why. I'm still in frozen state. I already told my friends that I bbq with that I cna't eat the brownies tonight, so should be ok. Let us know how you all are doing!:ghug

08-08-2008, 06:50 AM	#486 (permalink)
roxiestone Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 398	Good morning all, Still working my program. Scales are cooperating a bit, which is nice. However my focus has been on logging my food and keeping fully honest with that. It all starts with me getting honest with myself. Peace.

08-08-2008, 08:53 AM	#487 (permalink)
smiling jack Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest Posts: 976	I continue to learn by coming here. I'm grateful for the ES&H I find. One day at a time.

08-09-2008, 05:16 AM	#489 (permalink)
smiling jack Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest Posts: 976	We are all doing the best we can. Life is what it is. I want to be OS sober today. Take care all.

08-09-2008, 02:59 PM	#490 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	Well, I ate the brownies today. I don't even know what I can learn from this. So...I will continue to strive. Emotional stress..over emotion or shutting off of emotions seems to relate to this somehow. I think as long as I have this illusion that it does something for me, I will continue to struggle...I know alchohol still did something for me, but know that I don't get that ease as a viable choice today...haven't seemed to reach that point yet on OS...There is another way to be open and honest besides stuffing myself with sugar to get the mood that allows me to spurt out the stuff I need to say. Just thinking this through. Am back on track again and just hope that I will find a way to learn and move on....

08-09-2008, 03:00 PM	#491 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	As of August 8th (Friday): ROXIE -11 LILY -31 JACK -15 ODAAT - working on 1 ANANDA -5, but now working on 1 On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE MIKE NINA PONY

08-09-2008, 10:59 PM	#493 (permalink)
smiling jack Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest Posts: 976	I'm ok today, regardless that I chose to eat a lot of OS's today. It was an OS buffet at an outdoor party. I'll be honest...and say that I want to eat healthily (sp?) tomorrow. Nothing was eating me tonight...but I ate OS's just because I could. Sick thinking. Tomorrow is another day. Take care all.

08-10-2008, 07:30 AM	#494 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	As of August 9th (Saturday): ROXIE -12 LILY -32 JACK -working on 1 ODAAT - working on 1 ANANDA -working on 1 On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE MIKE NINA PONY

08-10-2008, 07:37 AM	#495 (permalink)
roxiestone Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 398	Good morning everyone. Staying on track. Thinking warm and good thoughts for us all. Peace.

08-10-2008, 07:42 AM	#496 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	Thanks Jack...maybe I should keep it that simple. There does seem to be a kernal of self hate in my OS slips...like I'll show you I'll eat OS adn be a failure since I already feel like one. but in another way, it is just as simple as I want it and I'm going to have it. Itched all day and the dogs wouldn't stop licking me...always an indication of my physical OS problem. I could binge in secrecy, but my dogs would still know! Roxie and Lilly...It's good to see it can be done one day at a time. Jack...again thanks Cali - I like your idea. I can't always help the person I want to help, but I can usually help someone. I don't always get to choose who or the form the help takes...glad you are moving on with your path. Pony...yeah, we all try to always do the perfect thing But honestly, for me when I eat the sugar, some one else may appear to "trigger" me, but I am usually the one who put the bullets in and the gun to my head! The intent to love is a wonderful thing and if we all ran around afraid to help each other cause we might "do the wrong thing" it would be a pretty pathetic world...beleive me I am questioning my amazing ability to put my foot in my mouth this week Thanks to all of you!!!!

08-11-2008, 05:35 AM	#497 (permalink)
ananda Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 10,122	As of August 10th (Sunday): ROXIE -13 LILY -33 JACK -1 ODAAT - working on 1 ANANDA -working on 1 On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE MIKE NINA PONY

08-11-2008, 06:33 AM	#498 (permalink)
roxiestone Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 398	I read this over the weekend: Try every day to have a diet of inspirational reading or watching; this will help in turbulent times to release you from your self absorbed thought-prison and back on the road to actively look for a way forward. I consider this place to be inspirational, along with a few others. Today I will concentrate on helping and supporting others and try to be less self-absorbed. Peace.

08-11-2008, 06:55 AM	#499 (permalink)
smiling jack Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest Posts: 976	Thanks to all...indeed we are all inspirational...we have more good inside of that must come out...I have been mentally and emotionally sick in the past...and I want to be well. OS abstinance can help me be mentally focussed on doing what is good for me.

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