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07-09-2008, 07:01 PM
| #352 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe  Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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odaat-Sheila-ananda just keep coming back guys!! I would put time together, then "go out"..that was my pattern for years-with alcohol, ciggs, food. I used to go back to smoking because I rationalized that it was better than drinking.. I don't know where I "turned the corner" but somehow I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no rationalizing anything about the drinking and smoking. I know I have truly surrendered to those two substances (daily reprieve based on working my program) but food items may just be a bit trickier for me---for I don't know how long...right now I certainly would not dare "cheat" because of the near-future event looming--but it's the after-lash that I think about...my true test of "fitness" will show itself sfter this weekend..I want to believe in myself and know that I will be OK and won't go back to the bad eating habits of the past.....I just don't live that way anymore. BUT again, it's a daily reprieve for me...I have to work at it--and boy sometimes it's harder than others not to simply "notice" a beautiful OS LOL Good night all!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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07-10-2008, 05:51 AM
| #353 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
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Thanks for the affirmations about yourself, Cali. I need to read about someone being posititive about what they can do for themselves. My power of positive thinking has carried me through some tough times in the past...but when I falter...it's like the negative self-talk/thinking comes in to play. My addiction is talking to me...and it is the negative sh*t about me I am reminded about. I remember a scene from Saturday Night Live...Michael Jordan was on...and a Drew Carey character was "teaching" MJ how to be positive about himself. LOL. MJ has a huge amount of belief in himself. Today, I will be positive about myself. I will find others who are positive...and who can help me with my struggles. Take care all. |
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07-10-2008, 06:58 AM
| #354 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 626
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ODAAT, Your post and Dave's reminded me of just how much negative talk and feelings I harbor. I wouldn't talk to or think about my worst enemy the way I routinely think about myself. It's no wonder I've got issues given that I routinely and viciously berate myself for this extra twenty pounds that I'm carrying around. Never a word of praise for what I have accomplished, it's always about my failings. I need to give me a big old break - we all do. The fact that we are here and trying is spectacular! Peace. |
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07-10-2008, 07:04 AM
| #355 (permalink) |
| Member  |
Lots to think about....the negative self talk definately kicked in after the m&ms. So I did well and can do well again. I guess I can't deny the negativity I felt last night, but I also don't have to be hanging on to it...so i will let it float out of my mind...today I can make good food choices and the mistakes of yesterday go on my inventory on "things I could have done better". So...working on day 1 and happy to be doing that instead of continuing on a path that so clearly isn't the right one for me! Thanks guys.  |
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07-10-2008, 10:17 AM
| #356 (permalink) | |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
| Quote:
*****This is where I HAVE to turn to positive thought......it's about helping someone else today...I appreciate your prayers and good thoughts to be sent my way if you please!!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! | |
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07-10-2008, 11:19 AM
| #358 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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As of July 9th: CALI -144 ( in my prayers) PONY -8 ROXIE -4 JACK -3 LILY -1 ANANDA -working on 1 ODAAT -working on 1 DAVE On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE MIKE NINA Have to dash, best wishes all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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07-10-2008, 12:01 PM
| #359 (permalink) |
| Member |
arg...i have to start again right NOW.....ok, so if you mess up the first thing to do is to take the left over ho ho and put it in the trash!!!! I am back on board and will remember to dispose of all sweets. It was just a unwillingness being expressed in the physical world. Thanks all for being here. |
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07-10-2008, 01:55 PM
| #360 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
| yup--the ho-ho's are killer  I am trying so hard to stay on the reality beam and not let the mind wander so much. Good idea on getting all the sweets out of your space. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other!!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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07-11-2008, 08:02 AM
| #362 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 626
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Good morning everyone. A pat on the back to everyone who's experiencing success and hugs to those who are struggling. Doing well so far - getting lots of good exercise and my guy is even walking with me in the evening time. Tomorrow will be a challenge, as his daughter is coming to have lunch with us and has requested a pasta dish. As a part of my program, I try to avoid all processed flour-based foods, including pasta, which I absolutely adore so this will be a an opportunity for growth and personal development  . Peace. |
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07-11-2008, 08:28 AM
| #363 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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As of July 10th: CALI -145 PONY -9 ROXIE -5 JACK -4 LILY -2 ODAAT -1 ANANDA -working on 1 DAVE On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE MIKE NINA
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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07-11-2008, 08:37 AM
| #364 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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Best wishes speaking tonight Cali, remind yourself that you have much to be proud of and hold your head high. Ananda, I am getting used to OS being around and it not being a problem, but m&ms are right up there in my favourites. If any of them appear in the house then the kids had better get rid quick. I worked last night and finished at 2pm. They had forecast rain but as it hadn't happened I went on the bike for an hour. The wind made it tough which was good, but as I am in tonight I have to try and negotiate an early nights sleep - not always easy. Best wishes all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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07-11-2008, 02:34 PM
| #365 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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Thanks Dave-I must do this for my sobriety but I know it will also help me feel better about tomorrow when I go to my reunion and greet the past once again. I have reached out for a lot of help in the last 24 hours. My head and thinking are just my worst enemies sometimes so when I tell others what I am thinking about me-they help me see the truth, not the skewed version that my disease wants me to believe. Thanks everyone always for you input and support. I sure do need both! Have a great night 
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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07-12-2008, 04:12 AM
| #366 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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As of July 11th: CALI -146 PONY -10 ROXIE -6 JACK -5 LILY -3 ODAAT-2 ANANDA -1 DAVE On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE MIKE NINA Have a good week away Cali, knock em dead at the reunion. Best wishes all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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07-12-2008, 04:45 AM
| #367 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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I am happy to say that I survived and didn't shrivel up and die as I thought might be a better idea then having to speak last night. It was the next right thing to do for my recovery. Now I can go tonight the my 20th tonight with my head held high. Thanks for your support guys! Have a great day today!!!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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07-12-2008, 05:39 AM
| #368 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 597
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ya'll have motivated me. I'm going for a walk!!!!!! And yay for me, because there are no more M&M's in the freezer, so I won't be eating those either!! And boo to me for being the one to eat them all yesterday!!! I'm outta here!! |
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07-13-2008, 12:28 AM
| #369 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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Just back from a run. It's a glorious start to the day with clear blue skies, and we haven't had too many of them lately.All asleep apart from the cats who are fed and out causing mischief. I have been eating pretty well lately and have dug out some clothes(never worn) which my wife has bought for me over the years and have never fit. I never take anything back, I just put it away and say it will fit me one day. I suppose to not think that way is being a bit defeatist, just glad that they fit me now. Jack, have a good week away- if I haven't missed you already. Respekt, well done with the walk and let us know if you wish to be included in the count. Best wishes everyone for the day.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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07-13-2008, 12:30 AM
| #370 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,703
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As of July 12th: CALI -147 PONY -11 ROXIE -7 JACK -6 LILY -4 ODAAT -3 ANANDA -2 DAVE On hiatus: BARB DWYER GOLDIE MIKE NINA
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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07-13-2008, 09:02 AM
| #371 (permalink) |
| Member |
got home from the hotel this morning and the first thing tht happened is my son offered me a candy bar...i said why would you want to offer me that I don't want to mess up my days (i was smiling and good natured aobut it) He said just eat one, not 50! I said would you ofer me a vodak shot and say just have one not 50...he said yeah but the house wouldn't become wrecked because you ate candy! We are currenlty going through the saga of cleaning up a totaled basement..have to tear out, find the leak and fix and rebuild...and he is right that there is some difference in the effect on our lives, but shows me he just doesn't get it. I didn't eat the candy bar, but it is setting next to me right now..have to take care of that. |
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07-13-2008, 04:07 PM
| #372 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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I had the BEST time last night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What an awesome event!! It went better than I ever could have hoped for!!! I was totally comfortable and so enjoyed seeing so many friends from the past...I realized last night that A LOT of people really cared about me---and I was a better friend then I remember to be most times. The event was from 7-12 PM last night and picked up again today at the beach where people brought their kids etc. I really had time to catch up on where others are at etc. Last night totally bridged the people we were yesterday with the people we are today. I can't explain it but through my dads death, I have been set free...I am not saying that he needed to pass in order for me to be free-I am saying that through his passing I have been set free. I talked to him before going to speak Friday because I was scared--and this wave of calmness came over me. This weekend I realized that the two biggest issues in my life, my dad and my "past", no longer hold me prisoner.....simply amazing!! And the bonus was that I received so many compliments--it was very nice Also I ate well through it all!! Have a good night all!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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07-14-2008, 06:30 AM
| #373 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 626
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Awesome, cali. I'm very happy for you. Your event sounds wonderful! My 30th is coming up next year (when did I get THIS old?) Weekend was good, food and exercise wise. I continued to stick with my plan and program - even with tempting trigger foods around. A very high degree of difficulty! Unfortunately, the scale didn't chose to reward my performance. I think you should get to lose EXTRA weight when you stay on plan through difficult and tempting circumstances  My thanks to all who post here. It's comforting to know that other people understand what a struggle this is. Peace. |
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