Out of control

[WENDYLOST101]

Hi everyone. I think I have posted here a few times before. I am usually in the f&f forum or cafe central on the pennies thread!

I am at a loss. I am completely out of control with my eating. I am 27 years old. I am 5'3" tall and I weigh like 270 something. I just cant stop. I want to. I just cant. I dont know how. I dont make a lot of money so I cant really afford to buy really healthy foods. I sort of have to eat whats available. I know alot of people dont agree, but in my case that is how I feel. My weakness is sweets mostly. I will eat any kind of cake, cookie, candy there is. I also have a problem with things like pizza. I am basically a junk food junkie. I am disgusted with myself.

Know matter how much I tell myself I will not overeat, I do anyway. Or no matter how much I tell myself I wont buy junk at the store, I do anyway. I dont even know what to eat anymore. There are so many different diets out there that say eat this or dont eat that, I dont know whats good for me anymore.

I have a family history of heart disease and type 2 diabetes. I really want to fix this before it gets out of control. I just dont know how. I have a 4 year old son and I want to be around for a long time, to see him grow up and become a successful person. I dont want him to be embarrased because he has a huge mother. Besides that, I have already set a bad example for him. He loves sweets just like I do, and is not at his ideal weight. I am ashamed to say that I have let my 4 year old son become overweight. He is not obese by any means but a little overweight.

There are other issues, like the fact that I work 30 min from home. I dont get off of work until 5:30. Its about 6:15 when I get ready to start cooking dinner. Then we eat and spend a few minutes together then its bath time and bed time. We dont seem to have alot of time for eating healthy meals. Then we dont live somehwere that walking is an easy option. We live on a gravel/dirt one lane road, so... Then if we take time out of the evening to drive somewhere that we can walk, that makes dinner and everything else for the night impossible.

So you see, I really am at a loss. Please help. Oh, forgot to mention, husband is addicted to pain pills, so I do alot of emotional eating too.

[Pony]

Hello Wendy and thanks for sharing. I have to tell ya that I could have written a good part of that your post myself. I am an emotional overeater myself. I have been way out of control on my eating as well lately. I also understand about the affordability of food....or lack of it. I have a hard time affording the healthy foods as well. That has been my gripe about why poor people are mostly overweight. they can't affort to eat right. I know I can't. But I have, in the past, designed a food porgram that was helping me on my goal to achieve some wieght loss. It has been a slow process, but I was getting somewhere. A big part of it was portion control, and then stoppping all sweets and soda's. Here in CA we have the 99 cents stores that have started to sell vegetables and friuts for less. That has helped. Exercising is a huge part of the program also. There are things that I do at home to improvise for exercise. For one, dancing. I put ont he radio and dance around the house. Your son would probably find this very fun to join in with you. You would be surprised how much exercise that can be and how many calories you can burn off with a half hour of dancing. Also, there are stuff you can so using your furniture for toning type exercises.

[cali]

Wendy-
I just wanted to say hello and it's good to see you posting. I know it can all seem overwhelming. I don't have any grand advice only to say keep it at one food choice at a time. When I keep it that simple, I feel like I can make it though each food choice that comes my way without bingeing. I know too that it seems like it's cheaper to eat "whatever" is around, but think of the choice for "beyond this moment" and the reality that the cost is so much higher in the long run to keep on the same way..

Keep sharing.

[sugarssweetpea]

For me, I replaced the money I spent on fast food & daily trips to the store for candy or soda or chips, with buying the healthier choices. It balanced out.

I am also attending Celebrate Recovery & working the 12 steps for overeating.

I also have a hormonal imbalance & am taking something for that as well which has helped me to make better choices. The cravings are not as intense.

[RRecovery]

I read the book Food Addiction The Body Knows some years ago and it spelled out that what I had was not a moral failing but addiction. Certain substances like sugar I could not handle no matter how hard I tried. I found I needed to have additional support and I found that in Food Addicts Anonymous. Just like an alcoholic who can't have alcohol I can't have sugar, flour or wheat in any shape or form or else I will tailspin into another binge. BUT I also need much more than just another "diet".

I wish you well and hope some day you find the freedom I have found. Trust me I understand your pain--I have been there and after I surrendered and started working a program of recovery my life got so much better. I am no longer enslaved to food.

[barb dwyer]

Wendy -

I hope you'll read this and go to a doctor for a full panel blood workup.

I've had probs with weight since sobering up.

ANd I was constantly CONSTANTLY fighting binging urges.
BUt even when eating less than 1000 calories per day -
I've been gaining ten lbs per month.

I only just found out -
I've been functioning with a non-working thyroid.

WHile I didn't exactly crave sweets -
it was looked over until a FULL PANEL (whatever that is) bloodwork was done.
IT was a continual nonstop food compulsion until the FIRST time I took medication.
That pulling craving feeling - stopped.
And I haven't had it since.
My body has literally been screaming at me for something it couldn't get from food.

I'm saying - that it may not be 'your fault'.

That was the hardest thing for me to deal with.
I told a friend -
I am completely and utter scandalized that my body no longer obeys me.

Wel, now we know why.

I truly hope you'll find companionship here, and that you'll contact your doc or maybe even a clinic (I know clinics there are WAY better than clinics up here_) and have this work done.