ready for that turning point... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

sugar magnolia · 02-21-2008, 03:45 AM

hello friends,

i finally bring myself forward to you all... searching for guidance and support. almost a year ago i was put on lexapro and proceeded to taper myself off about six months later due to a numbed sense of being. consequently, the chemicals messed with my brain and my body. i gained about twenty pounds while on and tapering off the medication and developed a compulsive eating disorder... i'm assuming to replace the seratonin which was depleted after stopping medication. the cravings are endless and i sometimes just can't seem to stop eating. i am a very healthful person (in theory) yet in recent times have been unable to stay on top of my usually regular running regimen. three days ago i began a master cleanse in search of ridding my body of toxins brought on and built up by the medication and other influences in my life... only to binge tonight, on the third day. this needs to stop. i am sick of preoccupying myself with thoughts of food and having it consume my life. i want to eat to live... not live to eat.

much love to you all

Gambaru · 02-21-2008, 04:04 AM

Welcome SM. Did you have any addictions before the CED? Sometimes our problems can manifest themselves in different ways. I learnt in recovery that it wasn't about what I was eating but what was eating me. There's a lot of good information on here and I hope you can find what you need to recover.

sugar magnolia · 02-21-2008, 04:17 AM

I have not had any previous addictions... only stressors which have influenced my state of mind and being. i have, on the other hand, had people very close to me who have suffered from other addictions which i have dealt with through second-hand methods. i know stress is a major cause for my problems... much of the reason why i was put on the ssri's to begin with. unfortunately, they prove to be counteractive and i seem to only be doing worse.

dave47 · 02-21-2008, 10:08 PM

Welcome SM, hope you feel at home here.

barb dwyer · 02-22-2008, 01:51 AM

sugar magnolia -

I recently came off lexapro as well - while it was a gradual thing coming off it - I am a recovering alcoholic - I experienced a recurrence of bulemia ... that I haven't had since in my TWENTIES ... a return of complete out of control binging and purging.
I attribute that to the brain chemicals being unable to balance out after the AD.

You say you had no prior food addictive problems ... and good for you on that.
I'm only sharing this as a head up kind of thing.

***Nina Kay*** · 02-22-2008, 09:25 PM

sugar magnolia,
I'm sorry to be coming here so late, but I wanted you to know that I also welcome you here. I'm glad that you've found us. We are here to support one another and together we can work through this. I am a compulsive overeater also, but I have been for as long as I can remember. Maybe your mind and body will eventually shift back to normal for you. I do hope so anyway. But we would love for you to join us here and let us get to know you better while you are waiting for that to happen. There are so many wonderful people here for you to meet and there is alot of information to be learned here too. I do hope that you'll keep coming back often.

Gambaru · 02-23-2008, 12:49 AM

As you weren't a COE before, I'm just wondering if you received enough help for whatever you went on the lexapro for. If not, the addiction may be a way of trying to stuff the feelings, or maybe any therapy you had brought up other issues? Hope you have a good day today.

sugar magnolia · 02-24-2008, 09:31 AM

thank you all for your support... it is nice to finally be able to talk with others going through some sort of the same thing i am. actually, looking back on things, i did have a sort of food addiction before the medication... it is just so much stronger and consuming now that it really did not hold a candle to what i am going through now. my binges were part of the reason i went on the meds in the first place, only sadly it seems very counter-active

barb, how have you been dealing with, well, everything after getting off of lexapro? how long have you been off? I was on it for about six months and have been off it now for almost five... getting off of it was not that big of a challenge. i tapered off by cutting down 2.5 mg a week. no side effects other than the eating... out. of. control.

sugar magnolia · 02-24-2008, 09:33 AM

thank you all for your support... it is nice to finally be able to talk with others going through some sort of the same thing i am. actually, looking back on things, i did have a sort of food addiction before the medication... it is just so much stronger and consuming now that it really did not hold a candle to what i am going through now. my binges were part of the reason i went on the meds in the first place, only sadly it seems very counter-active

barb, how have you been dealing with, well, everything after getting off of lexapro? how long have you been off? I was on it for about six months and have been off it now for almost five... getting off of it was not that big of a challenge. i tapered off by cutting down 2.5 mg a week. no side effects other than the eating... out. of. control.

Gambaru · 02-24-2008, 04:07 PM

SM - it doesn't really surprise me that your addiction has become worse. I don't mean that in a bad way but there's lots of reasons that you may be eating. Now that you are going off the ADs and your moods are changing, if you had some tendency to eat over things before, it's easy for me to imagine an eating disorder getting worse afterwards. Kind of like picking at a pimple?

sugar magnolia · 02-26-2008, 06:01 PM

I agree with you... I just can't seem to stop. I have had episodes lately that have almost made me go back to the doctor, but I cannot fathom the thought of going on another medication. I sometimes wonder if my chemistry or myself alone will ever be the same... just normal even. My anxiety has shot through the roof and I feel I have been slowed down in life. I have such trouble getting out of bed on time lately. And my irritability ? Insane. It pains me so much when it drives me to eating. Nothing about the experience is positive. I feel as if I am taking steps backwards.

02-21-2008, 03:45 AM	#1 (permalink)
sugar magnolia Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 6	ready for that turning point... hello friends, i finally bring myself forward to you all... searching for guidance and support. almost a year ago i was put on lexapro and proceeded to taper myself off about six months later due to a numbed sense of being. consequently, the chemicals messed with my brain and my body. i gained about twenty pounds while on and tapering off the medication and developed a compulsive eating disorder... i'm assuming to replace the seratonin which was depleted after stopping medication. the cravings are endless and i sometimes just can't seem to stop eating. i am a very healthful person (in theory) yet in recent times have been unable to stay on top of my usually regular running regimen. three days ago i began a master cleanse in search of ridding my body of toxins brought on and built up by the medication and other influences in my life... only to binge tonight, on the third day. this needs to stop. i am sick of preoccupying myself with thoughts of food and having it consume my life. i want to eat to live... not live to eat. much love to you all

02-21-2008, 04:04 AM	#2 (permalink)
Gambaru Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 222 Blog Entries: 35	Welcome SM. Did you have any addictions before the CED? Sometimes our problems can manifest themselves in different ways. I learnt in recovery that it wasn't about what I was eating but what was eating me. There's a lot of good information on here and I hope you can find what you need to recover. __________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life.

02-21-2008, 10:08 PM	#4 (permalink)
dave47 Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England Posts: 1,703	Welcome SM, hope you feel at home here. __________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer.

02-22-2008, 01:51 AM	#5 (permalink)
barb dwyer same planet...different world Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: butte mt Posts: 10,933 Blog Entries: 7	sugar magnolia - I recently came off lexapro as well - while it was a gradual thing coming off it - I am a recovering alcoholic - I experienced a recurrence of bulemia ... that I haven't had since in my TWENTIES ... a return of complete out of control binging and purging. I attribute that to the brain chemicals being unable to balance out after the AD. You say you had no prior food addictive problems ... and good for you on that. I'm only sharing this as a head up kind of thing. __________________ Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.

02-22-2008, 09:25 PM	#6 (permalink)
*Nina Kay* Accepting Myself As Is Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here @ SR. Posts: 2,855	sugar magnolia, I'm sorry to be coming here so late, but I wanted you to know that I also welcome you here. I'm glad that you've found us. We are here to support one another and together we can work through this. I am a compulsive overeater also, but I have been for as long as I can remember. Maybe your mind and body will eventually shift back to normal for you. I do hope so anyway. But we would love for you to join us here and let us get to know you better while you are waiting for that to happen. There are so many wonderful people here for you to meet and there is alot of information to be learned here too. I do hope that you'll keep coming back often. __________________ Acceptance is key to my Serenity. Nina Kay

02-21-2008, 04:17 AM	#3 (permalink)
sugar magnolia Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 6	I have not had any previous addictions... only stressors which have influenced my state of mind and being. i have, on the other hand, had people very close to me who have suffered from other addictions which i have dealt with through second-hand methods. i know stress is a major cause for my problems... much of the reason why i was put on the ssri's to begin with. unfortunately, they prove to be counteractive and i seem to only be doing worse.

02-23-2008, 12:49 AM	#7 (permalink)
Gambaru Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 222 Blog Entries: 35	As you weren't a COE before, I'm just wondering if you received enough help for whatever you went on the lexapro for. If not, the addiction may be a way of trying to stuff the feelings, or maybe any therapy you had brought up other issues? Hope you have a good day today. __________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life.

02-24-2008, 09:31 AM	#8 (permalink)
sugar magnolia Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 6	thank you all for your support... it is nice to finally be able to talk with others going through some sort of the same thing i am. actually, looking back on things, i did have a sort of food addiction before the medication... it is just so much stronger and consuming now that it really did not hold a candle to what i am going through now. my binges were part of the reason i went on the meds in the first place, only sadly it seems very counter-active barb, how have you been dealing with, well, everything after getting off of lexapro? how long have you been off? I was on it for about six months and have been off it now for almost five... getting off of it was not that big of a challenge. i tapered off by cutting down 2.5 mg a week. no side effects other than the eating... out. of. control.

02-24-2008, 09:33 AM	#9 (permalink)
sugar magnolia Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 6	thank you all for your support... it is nice to finally be able to talk with others going through some sort of the same thing i am. actually, looking back on things, i did have a sort of food addiction before the medication... it is just so much stronger and consuming now that it really did not hold a candle to what i am going through now. my binges were part of the reason i went on the meds in the first place, only sadly it seems very counter-active barb, how have you been dealing with, well, everything after getting off of lexapro? how long have you been off? I was on it for about six months and have been off it now for almost five... getting off of it was not that big of a challenge. i tapered off by cutting down 2.5 mg a week. no side effects other than the eating... out. of. control.

02-24-2008, 04:07 PM	#10 (permalink)
Gambaru Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 222 Blog Entries: 35	SM - it doesn't really surprise me that your addiction has become worse. I don't mean that in a bad way but there's lots of reasons that you may be eating. Now that you are going off the ADs and your moods are changing, if you had some tendency to eat over things before, it's easy for me to imagine an eating disorder getting worse afterwards. Kind of like picking at a pimple? __________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life.

02-26-2008, 06:01 PM	#11 (permalink)
sugar magnolia Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 6	I agree with you... I just can't seem to stop. I have had episodes lately that have almost made me go back to the doctor, but I cannot fathom the thought of going on another medication. I sometimes wonder if my chemistry or myself alone will ever be the same... just normal even. My anxiety has shot through the roof and I feel I have been slowed down in life. I have such trouble getting out of bed on time lately. And my irritability ? Insane. It pains me so much when it drives me to eating. Nothing about the experience is positive. I feel as if I am taking steps backwards.

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