Dealing with THE issues without the comfort of sugar

[Gambaru]

Ugh. I am in a horrible mood, really I am. I feel like there are 1000000000023402934234234 reasons for it so I'm going to do a bit of a mind and heart dump so try and come to come grips with what is going on.

1) I have a horrible cough. This cough plagues me every winter and though it only started one day ago, I know I can't handle another winter of it. I've got an appointment tomorrow to see the doctor for some medication. I need to get it diagnosed properly but that's going to require more tests etc etc etc and I just don't have the energy for that. I'm sure it will be back next year so I'm choosing a bandaid measure for this year. I just hope it works. It makes me feel sad, I'm scared, I'm disappointed, I feel like this cough is partly my own fault for not taking better care of myself, I feel vulnerable and I am lonely. I don't have a partner, I have very few friends (am trying to meet more people) and I just want to curl up in a strong pair of arms and cry.

2) I have a sore tooth. Yes, another issue that has been going on for too long. The pain has become unbearable again in the last 3 hours and it is driving me too distraction. So I know first thing tomorrow I'm going back to the dentist. Great, and then the doctor in the afternoon. I "should" be working ............................

3) I don't like my job. I am frustrated because I am not progressing as fast as I want, or at all. I am tired of proving myself with new managers and still not progressing. I am fed up. I am tired. I want out... but I can't leave without making another huge change in my life and I can't afford to do that right now. Can I win lotto? I think I've given this job every thing I can and I feel like if this wasn't enough, I don't think I have what it takes to succeed there.

4) I regret (and i know that's a bad word anyhow) all the years of opportunity I have had to meet people and make friends and I've isolated. Comparing myself to others is always a bad idea, and I don't want to have 2000000000000 friends, and it is the quality not the quanity BUT it's still hard. I am not a bad person, at least I don't think so.

Funnily enough (and gratefull), I have no craving for sugar whatsover. There's just no way sugar would even make me feel better right now. I guess this shows my new food plan is really working for me. Hey it's only taken 35 years!!

I think tomorrow when I see the GP I am going to ask for a referral to a T to try and get a better perspective on things. I know Acceptance is the answer to all my problems but I think I need a little more help. It's good to be able to admit that.

[historyteach]

Hey, Gambaru, I think you're headed in the right direction.
Not only that, but, I think you're far more ahead that you think you are!

Good insights; and the willingness to seek out support and help when feeling stuck is a sign of a healthy person. And to top it off, you've outgrown your craving for sugar to boot! Time for a pat on the back!!!

Don't be too hard on yourself. Try to see the progress you've made, even as you recognize the road you still have to walk, ok?

Shalom!

[sugarssweetpea]

Gam,
I know how you feel. My mood is terrible. On my plan, I eat sugar once a week. Actually I can have a meal & dessert. I am having a hard time dealing wiht life in general without it. Low serotonin levels I guess. Finding it hard to deal with people, but yet I am not wanting to eat the sugar. I know that it will not help anything. It would only make it worse. I still have small cravings b/c I know that it would make me feel better in the moment. I am trying to focus on the long term now instead of instant gratification.

Congratulations to you for staying strong.

[Nina Kay]

Hi Gambaru. I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, but it really sounds like most of your depressed mood is derived from you being in so much pain and feeling not so well. I really always have to remind myself not to let myself think too deeply when I'm sick or in pain because it's really the physical ailments that are making me feel so depressed and down on myself. I remind myself that I need to focus on getting well and pampering myself. I can put off trying to critique myself until I'm well. Just some of my thoughts. Be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up while you're already down.
((((((((((((((((Caring Get Well Hugs))))))))))))))))))

[cali]

Gam-
Thank you so much for sharing these "things" that you are going through....it let's me know that I am not alone as I too go through or am going through many of the things that you detailed. I will tell you that the dental and work issues have been the biggest recently in my life. For me--the dental thing can take me out....I can get very depressed because I grew up with bad teeth and that fear factor rears it's ugly head...but I have to quickly remember to be grateful that I am taking care of myself today by going to the dentist and doing the next right thing despite my fears.

The work issue---wow do I relate. I will quote Nina here:

I remind myself that I need to focus on getting well and pampering myself. I can put off trying to critique myself until I'm well.

when I feel overwhelmed at work I do step back now....and try to take time for me. For example I am at work now---I came early to do my posting and reach out to other women...then I will punch in

It is so wonderful that you are maintaining your abstinence in the face of life unfolding around you....that's what I want for me....you have been a huge inspiration to me---I watch you stay sober with food and always share openly as to where you are at, and how you do it!
Thanks-your post helped me so much today.
(((Gam)))

[roxiestone]

Gam,

You are doing good work. I'm sorry that you are going through so much, but you are doing (and not doing) the right things. Getting some perspective is always good. Thank you for sharing and allowing us to show you some love.

[Gambaru]

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and words. It was really appreciated.

Nina - I especially liked what you said about not thinking too deeply when you are sick. I think deeply all the time but this is one time when I should just try to turn the brain off.

After I'd posted my message, I happened to catch the end of Top Gun when Maverick feels like quitting. He comes back though, better and stronger than ever and I know that is what I can do too. I had an up (clearer thoughts) and down (still sick) day yesterday but I know I'm on the right track.

I got my medicine that is designed for people with COPD - I don't have that and it's a really strong medicine for someone like me to take but it should start working within a few days. I didn't ask about the T as I'm actually feeling okay again.

Dental apt went okay but the pain is coming back already (groan). The specialist dental surgeon who I've been referred to comes back next week so I'll be calling first thing Monday.

My cold/flu thing is still around but I'd prefer to let it run its course than take flu tablets which I'm just not a fan of. I have some painkillers for the tooth and head anyhow but would like the flu to get out of my system, if that makes sense. Ok that's my medical report for today.

[Gambaru]

Think this says it all actually!

Think in terms of depletion, not depression. . . . You can understand how a body can replenish itself, whereas it may be difficult to understand the way out of depression.
--Claire Weekes

Despair and depression may come over us suddenly, for no reason we can figure out. But if we stop and reflect, we may realize we are reacting to too much of something - too much work, too much excitement, too much fun. We may be having a letdown after holidays, after completing a project, or at the end of a school year.

When we feel a letdown coming on, we must give ourselves time. We need to take some time off and do nothing, plan nothing. Then we can ask God to help us let go of the negative feelings that come along with a letdown. We can plan a small gift for ourselves - a walk by the lake, for instance. In our excitement with a rush of events, we often forget that we, like the infants we once were, need to take a rest and reenergize.

Do I need to do something just for myself today?

You are reading from the book:



Today's Gift by Anonymous

Today's Gift. Copyright 1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of Hazelden.

__________________________________________________ ____________________

[dave47]

Hi Gamb, sorry to hear that you are feeling down and struggling at the moment. You are always positive and thoughtful towards everyone and you are greatly appreciated in return.
Often during the day, i wonder how those here are doing. I know it's not face to face but you do have friends here.

[Gambaru]

Aww thanks Dave. <sniff> I'm still feeling rather carp but have given in and decided to take the cold and flu tablets instead of just the painkillers. I hope the bugs still get out of my system. On the plus side (apart from the size of my bum!), I'm proud of myself for having taken it easy this week and I feel better for it. I have hopes the medication is going to help the cough as althought it's bad (I can still turn heads in the supermarket), it's not as bad as last year. Most of all, I'm keeping my abstinence first and that certainly helps.

[Gambaru]

Aaah the comforts of eating. I don't think I should even allow myself to think that. I've just come back from the supermarket and I'm marvelling at though the few things I bought are fine for abstinence, I want to eat it all NOW amd I'm not even really hungry. It is my snack time but I know I want to eat because I feel sick, I want to feel comforted and cared for. It reminds me of my mum feeding me when I was sick. Food can't do that for me today, and in fact, I know if I eat any of that food, I'm going to feel worse because I'm not even really hungry. Silly head. It's not physical hunger... I miss being closer to family, and I miss being fussed over because I'm sick. I'm going to do some tidying to get my mind off me - it's probably a good start!