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02-28-2008, 05:25 AM
| #81 (permalink) |
| Member |
Congrats Roxie! I'm really beginning to protect my abstinence more, and I'm so grateful for that. When I made my smoothie this morning, the milk was fine but wouldn't have been good for another day. I realised there were 300 ml in the blender and I only use 200 ml so I tipped 100 ml out. Then I needed a banana but the bananas I bought were quite small so I used one a and threw out the other half. I don't throw out food - well unless it's off !! I gave some grapes to my customer today and they are a real no no for me and though one fell out when I was picking them up, I threw it out straight away. I'm also making sure I stay alert to my thoughts as I don't want to idealise food that's not good for me anymore. That one bite of something could send me on that downward spiral. Just for today, I have a choice not to go there.
__________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life. |
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02-28-2008, 05:34 AM
| #82 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 626
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Good morning all, I'm grateful to see my name with 20 days. That will help strengthen me to get through today. See I'm very tired after not sleeping well last night and facing a potentially stressful social event that will last until nearly midnight. So I will need to be extra vigilant and give myself every opportunity to make good choices. I'm now fighting both my own body and my feelings today - both want an energy boost. I just need to do good things for me today and know that this feeling is TEMPORARY and doesn't require action on my part. I'm treating myself lovingly today by: Reading this forum - probably many times Planning and packing my breakfast and lunch Attending a restorative yoga class Reviewing the restaurant menu and making my menu choices BEFORE arriving at the restaurant Good and gentle wishes to each and every one of you. Roxie |
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02-28-2008, 10:35 AM
| #83 (permalink) | |
| came-came to-came to believe  Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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All of you sound so wonderful! Congrats to everyone on your accomplishments! It couldn't have gone better for a first appointment last night  I know there is much work to be done but I am so ready for it! I could really get into the kick of "why didn't I do this sooner"?...but I have to just stay in today and be glad that I am doing it now, that's what matters. I came to work prepared to walk but I am just so cold….it’s so cold in my office that going outside today will throw me over the edge lol I have been reflecting a lot about loved ones that have passed….I guess it’s normal but…it seems that when I am going through growth, I think of them more….maybe they are right here with me all the time but making themselves known when I need them most Have a wonderful day everyone—and thank you from the bottom of my heart
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! | |
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02-28-2008, 01:36 PM
| #84 (permalink) |
| less hippo, more rabbit  |
As of February 29th: Leap Year! Odaat#-...................250 DAYS!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!  Goldie#-174 Dave*-149 Gambaru-63 Cupowater-58 Roxie-21 Falloutcity-18 BrokenSword-15 Jack-12 Cali-12 Nina-.............................10 DAYS!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!  Miss Communicat-9 Gotta love um-9 Sugar magnolia-4 Barb-on hiatus Pony-on hiatus Mike-on hiatus Remember...You Are NOT Alone! 
__________________   99% Bonobo, 1% trouble |
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02-28-2008, 09:09 PM
| #86 (permalink) | |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,256
| Quote:
Therefore, how one processes (manages, balances) these activites is at stake. Abstainance of all food is not possible. Choices are what's possible. Abstainance of certain things so that food can be managed or balanced is necessary for those addicted. I think I am treating OS's like a substance that can be easily identified, and I try to treat it like alcohol. This thread has been very good for me. Managing my high fat foods is a whole other story. Very little success there for me. Gambu does well...maybe because you have found how you can manage the process of controlling what you eat so well. I'll be gone Sat/Sun. Have a great weekend and I hope all goes well for each of you. | |
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02-29-2008, 03:47 AM
| #88 (permalink) |
| Member | Managing my high fat foods is a whole other story. Very little success there for me. Gambu does well...maybe because you have found how you can manage the process of controlling what you eat so well. Jack - Thanks for that. When I was a teenager, I, like most teens was very conscious of my weight and so I stopped eating fatty foods then. Of course then I'd go and binge on chocolate and icecream but that's beside the point. Fortunately I really like the taste of most healthy foods so I don't feel deprived. My stomach gets upset if I eat fatty foods. There's still one or two foods I'll eat occasionally like pizza - I heart pizza but the fact I can't tell you the last time I had one probably says something. Of course if I have pizza, then I want garlic bread too. At the end of the day, I'm a good 20 kilos (40 or so pounds I think) heavier than I need to be so that's my other reason for not eating 'bad' stuff. The weight is coming off now because I'm eating more healthy stuff than I used (never used to eat enough) and avoiding OS.
__________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life. |
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02-29-2008, 07:51 AM
| #89 (permalink) |
| Member |
Blah blah blah. This is what happens when I have to deal with colleagues without OS. Not that I'd prefer the OS, but on a day like this, dulling the senses is all I want to do. However that's not a healthy behaviour so here's the day. Brain dump time. I am sad because I am lonely I am feeling threatened by a colleague because I don't trust her and I know she will tell my manager stuff that isn't true. I will work around this. I am worried about something that is TMI for here. Something beyond my control, and not directly my fault but I was still a contributing factor and there's nothing I can do about it. I wish my conscience wasn't so overactive I am sad because I wish I could just call someone up for a drink (even tea!) I am scared I'll never make lots of friends I am glad that I am not COEing and that I threw out the extra customer OS that was still in my car I am happy that my cat still loves me I am tired of being sick and having this stupid cough which has been really bad today and makes me more tired I am tired but I know I have a few extra hours of work to do and I'm resentful I didn't use this week better. I don't want to use my weekend for work but I need to do a few hours to balance things up I am sad probably because it's raining I am sad because another colleague and I had a few probs last year and I just wish things had gone better I am looking forward to my holiday this year I wish my social life was busier but I'm doing my best to get out there and meet new people I am lonely because I miss my family in Australia I am tired because my brain is overdrive... Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. Yeah I know it. When I am disturbed which is right now it is because I find some person place situation or situation How about all of the above unacceptable to me Aaahh yep ditto. And I can find no serenity But I want happiness until I accept that person place thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at that moment . aaaaahhh? You mean life isn't meant to be happy and perfect all the time. Oh I think I forgot that bit! Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake Oh this is a lesson isn't it? It's a lesson and I'm trying to resist it. That's not smart. Why fight something. Best to surrender and keep doing as I think God would have me do. Until I could accept my COEing, I could not be abstinent. True Unless I can accept life on life's terms I cannot be happy Ohhh okay - this is why I love these paragraphs of the big book even if I am butchering them... I need to focus not so much on what needs to be changed in the world, as in what needs to be changed in me and my attitude I'm feeling a little better. Shakespeare said all the world is a stage, all the men and women are merely players I have the second biggest chair thank you very much He forgot to mention I was the chief critic Thank you for acknowledging that I was able to see the flaw in every person, every situation Yes the main flaw right now is me dealing with life on life's terms. It's hard. And I was always glad to point it out because I knew you wanted perfection just as I did Well this is something I'm getting better at hence my vent here. OA and acceptance have taught me there is a bad in the best of us and a bit of good in the worst of us and that we are all children of God and that we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or you, I am complaining about God's handiwork. I am saying I know better than God. aaahh. I feel better now. It's all about dealing with life. How did normies learn to cope with this stuff 'naturally'?
__________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life. |
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02-29-2008, 08:40 AM
| #90 (permalink) | |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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I try to remember to start with "ME"---that perhaps I am just the way I am meant to be at any given moment!! Generally, the root of all of my problems with others lies the stark cold reality that I can’t stand “ME” at the moment!!! Once I find some patience and tolerance for "ME" I can better accept others and function in this world! We get more of what we focus on...so I need to make long lists of what I am greatful for and how I am going to be kinder today to better myself. We all are so hard on ourselves....I used to dislike hearing that but for me it's true..... I love a song that I have been listening to—it’s by (don’t laugh now ) “Hannah Montana” it’s called “Make Some Noise”— google it and listen to it—the words…I really know that it’s ok to be “ME”! It's easy to feel like You're all alone To feel like nobody knows The great that you are The good that's inside you Is trying so hard to break through Maybe it's your time to lift off and fly You won't know if you never try I will be there with you all of the way You'll be fine [Chorus] Don't let anyone Tell you that you're not strong enough Don't give up There's nothing wrong with just being yourself That's more than enough So come on and raise your voice speak your mind and make some noise And sing Hey, hey Make some noise Hey, hey, yeah You want to be known You want to be heard And know you are beautiful You have so much to give Some change you wanna live So shout it out and let it show You have a diamond inside of your heart A light that shines bright as the stars Don't be afraid to be all that you are You'll be fine [Chorus] Don't let anyone Tell you that you're not strong enough Don't give up There's nothing wrong with just being yourself That's more than enough So come on and raise your voice speak your mind and make some noise And sing Hey, hey Make some noise Hey, hey, yeah [Bridge] You can't just sit back and watch the world change It matters is what you've got to say There's no one else who can stand in your place So come on it's never too late Maybe it's your time to lift off and fly You won't know if you never try [Chorus] Don't let anyone Tell you that you're not strong enough Don't give up There's nothing wrong with just being yourself That's more than enough So come on and raise your voice speak your mind and make some noise And sing Hey, hey Make some noise Hey, hey, yeah Hey, hey (Make some noise) speak your mind and make some noise And sing hey, yeah Hey, yeah Hey, yeah Make some noise Hey, yeah Hey, yeah Hey, yeah Make some noise Hey, yeah Hey, yeah Hey, yeah Make some noise Hey, yeah Hey, yeah Hey, yeah Make some noise
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! | |
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02-29-2008, 01:41 PM
| #92 (permalink) |
| Member |
Thank you Cali and Roxie for your shares. You're sounding great Cali and you are right Roxie things are never as bad. I feel so much better now. I think doing that brain dump helped me to get perspective back. I'm proud of myself for staying abstinent today. There's been some days when it's been 'easy' for whatever reason but today was a tough day. I had several challenging tests and I protected my abstinence like a precious egg. This is one of my favourite songs to belt out when I'm feeling sorry for myself (doesn't happen very often you undertand LOL) When the day is long and the night, the night is yours alone, When you're sure you've had enough of this life, well hang on Don't let yourself go, 'cause everybody cries and everybody hurts sometimes Sometimes everything is wrong. Now it's time to sing along When your day is night alone, (hold on, hold on) If you feel like letting go, (hold on) When you think you've had too much of this life, well hang on 'Cause everybody hurts. Take comfort in your friends Everybody hurts. Don't throw your hand. Oh, no. Don't throw your hand If you feel like you're alone, no, no, no, you are not alone If you're on your own in this life, the days and nights are long, When you think you've had too much of this life to hang on Well, everybody hurts sometimes, Everybody cries. And everybody hurts sometimes And everybody hurts sometimes. So, hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on Everybody hurts. You are not alone
__________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life. |
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03-01-2008, 02:33 AM
| #94 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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I can't sleep.....and I know exactly why. I have so much more to "get out" I can't wait till the next appointment. What does this have to do with my insane eating habits? Everything, I am sure. Out of habit, I stuff myself but I am starting to see why... I think it is because when I do, I can only focus on that full (sick) feeling-then I won't have to feel what's really going on. I did this last night. I am up early and going to go to a meeting this morning. It's like I really want to be in this "getting it all out to get better" process---but my old habits are still so strong. My true hope for myself is that as I progress on this road, and more is revealed, I will not need to exercise that bizarre "survival" tool.... Billy Joel tickets go on sale today so that's something to look forward to. Getting them is another story. They have added like 6 shows and they have all sold out in minutes. I expect this one to be no different but maybe I will actually get the tickets this time. Snowy and rainy here today--I have plenty to keep myself busy though! My thought for the day is "Into Action" and that is my gift to me today! Enjoy the day!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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03-01-2008, 03:48 AM
| #95 (permalink) |
| Member |
Cali - Hope you are asleep now but if not, just write everything out so you can give it to your T next time. Being abstinent brings up lots of things we've not dealt with before and sometimes the feelings can be overwhelming. Glad you are going to a meeting and I hope you get your tickets. xx
__________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life. |
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03-01-2008, 10:02 AM
| #96 (permalink) |
| less hippo, more rabbit |
As of March 1st: Odaat#-251 Goldie#-175 Dave*-...........................150 DAYS!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! Gambaru-64 Cupowater-59 Roxie-22 Falloutcity-19 BrokenSword-16 Jack-13 Cali-13 Nina-11 Miss Communicat-...................10 DAYS!!! WOO HOO!!! Gotta love um-....................10 DAYS!!! WAY TO GO!!! Two in one day again!!!  Sugar magnolia-5 Barb-on hiatus Pony-on hiatus Mike-on hiatus Remember...You Are NOT Alone! 
__________________ 99% Bonobo, 1% trouble |
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03-02-2008, 12:07 AM
| #98 (permalink) |
| Member |
Hello 100 Dayers I had a good day yesterday as I made a list and actually got a few things done. Not everything of course but I realise I put too much on my lists to begin with. It was Saturday after all! I also met some new people and have hopefully made a new friend. That gives me a bit of confidence. Today is going to be a doing day as well - need to get organised with some work stuff and do some cooking for the week. I'm feeling optimistic. Congrats to Dave, Miss C and GLU!
__________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life. |
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03-02-2008, 02:25 AM
| #99 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
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Wow-congrats everyone! Lots of good things going on here! Gam I relate to so many things that you share. I have been held back from having healthy friendships over the years because of my alcoholism. Now that I am making calls I seem to be getting them too-wow I am up early again. I have to go back to zero caffeine. I was trying a little bit here and there---forget it. It just does not agree with me. It makes me feel hungrier. I learned from other sources that it messes with the blood sugar..I never believed it before until I realized that's exactly what it was doing with me. I should actually try to go back to bed. It’s too early to get up on a Sunday! Have a good day all!
__________________ I've let go of what I was, I accept myself for who I am today- I continue to become who I am meant to be! |
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03-02-2008, 05:08 AM
| #100 (permalink) |
| Member |
Caffeine is a really funny thing for me too Cali. I'm really sensitive to it. Diet coke is my absolute vice and I've cut it out completely. In summer, I've told myself I may have the odd glass in a pub or something but not right now. I have a cup of tea about once a month and sometimes it really hits me hard. My heart feels sad today. That sounds a bit dramatic but it's true. A lot of my grandparents family, my ancestors, were killed in Auschwitz and I really wanted to go there this year. Because work has mucked me up, I have to take 5 days annual leave before the end of March. The temperatures in March will still be sub zero and with this stupid cough that I have, it's dumb for me to go there at this time of year. However people have often said I have an old soul and I feel a connection to Auschwitz that I can't explain. Therefore, it feels wrong of me to not go and to go somewhere else. Ugh does that make sense? I know I need to put myself first and I deserve a relaxing holiday. It's about giving up what I feel is my duty and I don't like that. Ugh. Letting others down - a real trigger for me.
__________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life. |
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