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02-24-2008, 06:22 AM
| #51 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe  Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 788
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I have read the last several posts again. It's neat to know you guys just a bit better through the keyboard. Tomorrow I make the call to a "therapist"....gosh I used to think that sounded so "Hollywood" and that therapists were for rich people with "luxury" problems.....that is NOT me---I am just a small town girl with one or two "lifelong" issues...LOL Anyway--I am so excited! Crazy, I know...... This person comes highly recommended from a few women that I know--one of which is my sponsor. She had mentioned him a time or two but I didn't really absorb it because of course I would never need that....  I was serious about what I said on 2/15/08......It is part of my signature: I'll let go of what I was, accept myself for what I am- and become what I was meant to be! I believe that Therapy will be the catapult-----and then I'm serious, watch out world! There are SO many things I have always wanted to do----I am already planning and making my list! I just never had the self confidence because I have let my past determine my present and future. I have been behind bars for a very long time. A pardon to my life-sentence is very near. Another beautiful day here----again, let's be the very best we can be today to ourselves and the people we love!!!!
__________________ I'll let go of what I was, accept myself for what I am- and become who I was meant to be! 2-15-08 |
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02-24-2008, 04:10 PM
| #53 (permalink) |
| Member |
Lovely thoughts Cali. I've had an incredibly unproductive day today. It's time to start getting a bit more disciplined. Just making a simple list of the essentials that I need to do. For example, I needed to write a quick business plan for a meeting tomorrow and I needed to do some cooking. It's not good for my health in any way or form to procrastinate as much as I have done today. So tomorrow I will cook my food and go to my storage unit. I'd like to go to the gym too if I feel better.
__________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life. |
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02-25-2008, 03:48 AM
| #54 (permalink) |
| Gigi, BootLiquor, whatever....  |
D'oh As of February 24th: Odaat#-245 Goldie#-169 Dave*-144 Gambaru-58 Cupowater-53 Roxie-16 Falloutcity-13 BrokenSword-.......................10 DAYS!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!  Barb-..................10 DAYS!!! WOW, TWO IN ONE DAY!!! WOO HOO!!!  Jack-7 Cali-7 Nina-5 Miss Communicat-4 Gotta love um-4 Pony-on hiatus Mike-on hiatus Remember...You Are NOT Alone! How true, how true!!! 
__________________   99% Bonobo, 1% blessed |
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02-25-2008, 05:40 AM
| #55 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 583
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I am on my recovery routine today. I belong here. I was tempted yesterday by cookies...and I had a dream last night that there were a bunch of half-eaten cookies around the house....and I was the only one around that could have eaten them...and why were they only half-eaten?????....was it because I felt guilty of violating my own boundaries????? I have an appt. with the shrink in a week or two. He says food addictions and one other that I have are "process" addictions. I need to remind myself to ask what exactly is the meaning of a "process" addiction. Has anyone else heard this before? Take care today. |
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02-25-2008, 06:42 AM
| #56 (permalink) |
| Member  Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: England
Posts: 1,446
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Good to see you so positive and full of life Cali. Jack i wonder if it means that your addictions is to eating, not what you are eating. I find the issue of substance addiction/process addiction a bit confusing as the two seem to merge many times. Worked last night and heading to London for a funeral soon and probably get to bed about midnight. With regards to H.A.L.T, sometimes it seems as though i am trying to do as many of them in a day as i can. I typed a long post which i lost, if it happens again i'll be frigging mad. Best wishes all.
__________________ Into each life some rain must fall,some days be dark and dreary. The Difficult is that which can be done immediately;the Impossible that which takes a little longer. |
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02-25-2008, 09:40 AM
| #58 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 788
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yeah Dave-I have learned my lesson with losing posts...cause mine can go on and on I copy/paste what I have posted to a word doc before I click "submit". a lot of times I have to log back in because I’ve been "dormant" too long--and at that point, I copy my word doc and past it back to a new post. --Also—HALT—heed that inner voice…..it’s talking to you! Good for you Jack-I actually don't know anything about it--in fact hearing it for the first time---or possibly "hearing" it for the 1st time..let us know how you make out! I have to make that appointment today.....I don't think this one takes insurance so paying out of pocket will double insure I make the most of my time Gam--I hear you on the "procrastinate" issue.....good reminder, thank you. Welp—I am back to work now—just had to check in with “my people”  Have a good day everyone!
__________________ I'll let go of what I was, accept myself for what I am- and become who I was meant to be! 2-15-08 |
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02-25-2008, 03:44 PM
| #59 (permalink) |
| Gigi, BootLiquor, whatever.... |
As of February 25th: Odaat#-246 Goldie#-170 Dave*-145 Gambaru-59 Cupowater-54 Roxie-17 Falloutcity-14 BrokenSword-11 Barb-11 Jack-8 Cali-8 Nina-6 Miss Communicat-5 Gotta love um-5 Pony-on hiatus Mike-on hiatus Remember...You Are NOT Alone! 
__________________ 99% Bonobo, 1% blessed |
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02-25-2008, 04:15 PM
| #60 (permalink) |
| Member |
Congrats Goldie on the BIG 170!!!!! Way to go!! Well I cooked today but only ate 1100 calories. I need to eat 1400 and so now i have a headache but I don't want to eat anymore because I need to find some snacks that are higher in protein and fat than carbs if that makes sense. Maybe I need to investigate nuts a bit more - that might do it. Had a difficult meeting with new manager today - she's so hard to read. I need to post about this so shall do that tomorrow as I have a headache now. I did however get my cooking, washing and some tidying up done so less procrastination today! Tomorrow it's to the storage unit (had to meet manager instead today) and gym. If I get those done, I'll be happy. Good night lovely people. xx
__________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life. |
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02-25-2008, 06:10 PM
| #61 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 788
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well-the appointment has been made! I go Wednesday after work..I don't think I am going to obsess over this either. I must be ready! I ate a lot tonight but that's ok because it was good food...I haven't been "stuffing" myself and that's a good feeling. I need to remember though that the kitchen "closes" after dinner. It's a good way for me to remember that "milling around" and constant snacking aren't healthy for me... ok-enough outta me! oh yeah ps---he is "out of pocket"...no insurance yikes!
__________________ I'll let go of what I was, accept myself for what I am- and become who I was meant to be! 2-15-08 |
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02-26-2008, 06:09 AM
| #62 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 583
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An attitude of gratitude. I can come here, work on my recovery routine, and start my day right. But my attitude can drop into the crapper if I lose the post. It hasn't happened to me in a while....but when it does, I feel like Elvis was justified when he shot the @#$^&*_) TV at Graceland because he didn't like what was on. I think sometimes I hit the wrong key when I am typing....but yeah, it's like I am logged in sometimes...but really not logged in. When in doubt, copy what is written before posting...that little step is worth shooting the screen. Regardless, I'll take another 24 hours today. I hope I can have it at the end. Take care. |
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02-26-2008, 07:45 AM
| #64 (permalink) | |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 788
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Great question Rox---and one I'd like to incorporate into my daily routine!! Today I will really focus on treating others as I wish to be treated, even the people that have and or are "wronging" (if that's even a word ) me. The bottom line is that forgiveness will flourish my recovery and my being. That's where it's at for me today.I am geared up for a day of good eating. Also I will remember that very basis of me today: Quote:
__________________ I'll let go of what I was, accept myself for what I am- and become who I was meant to be! 2-15-08 | |
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02-26-2008, 03:45 PM
| #65 (permalink) |
| Member |
And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today..... Basically I am very p'ed off with my company because they shafted me 6 days annual leave and i have to take another 5 in the next 4 weeks. It's dumb and stupid when I've just returned my sick leave. I want to take the holidays in August ie when the customers are away but no bending the rules with this manager. Truly the decision defies logic but I'm not going to let it bother me because it's just not worth it. I'm stronger than that and I'm better than that. So I am vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvverrrry grateful for another day of abstinence. I had some fruit biscuit type snacks in my car for customers that I'd totally forgotten about and as it was just before lunch, I was hungry. I'm so grateful to say I didn't eat them. I thought of Cali (I can't find that post now I think it was!) saying it's easier to say no to the first bite, and how important my 60 days of abstinence is to me. I didn't want to give it away. Then I was in the supermarket and there's a new kind of biscuit that comes out that in my head I know I would like. I was going to buy some for my customers then reconsidered as it just wasn't worth the risk. You know there are some days when I feel like I'm testing my abstinence to see how strong it is and where I can push things. One of the ways I do that is subconsciously giving time in my head to the few OS foods I like but 'can't eat'. This testing is not a healthy behaviour and it's time to stop it. Again, I deserve better My food was great today though as I'd cooked everything myself. MY lunch stayed warm and I had just under 1400 calories which was also right on target. I'm going to bed not feeling hungry, but not feeling full. It's a good feeling. Good night
__________________ Thought one: Just for today, I remember that my disease is progressive even if I am not active in it. Thought two: May I make the most of today and be a channel of all the good things in life. |
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02-26-2008, 04:19 PM
| #66 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 788
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I am having pizza right now...I know I shouldn't. I know it's not an obvious sweet but it's naughty and not good for me. But hey-I can't be in time out with everything I had a good day today. I totally practiced tolerence with that co-worker. It feels so much better to let it go. Clearly she has, and is back to herself. It's like sheesh, can't we all just get along?
__________________ I'll let go of what I was, accept myself for what I am- and become who I was meant to be! 2-15-08 |
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02-26-2008, 04:31 PM
| #67 (permalink) |
| Gigi, BootLiquor, whatever.... |
As of February 26th: Odaat#-247 Goldie#-171 Dave*-146 Gambaru-......................60 DAYS!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!  Cupowater-55 Roxie-18 Falloutcity-15 BrokenSword-12 Barb-12 Jack-9 Cali-9 Nina-7 Miss Communicat-6 Gotta love um-6 Pony-on hiatus Mike-on hiatus Remember...You Are NOT Alone! 
__________________ 99% Bonobo, 1% blessed |
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02-27-2008, 04:12 AM
| #69 (permalink) |
| Gigi, BootLiquor, whatever.... |
As of February 27th: Odaat#-248 Goldie#-172 Dave*-147 Gambaru-61 Cupowater-56 Roxie-19 Falloutcity-16 BrokenSword-13 Barb-13 Jack-............................10 DAYS!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! Cali-.........................10 DAYS!!! WOO HOO!!! Two in one day!  Nina-8 Miss Communicat-7 Gotta love um-7 Sugar magnolia-2...............  Pony-on hiatus Mike-on hiatus Remember...You Are NOT Alone! 
__________________ 99% Bonobo, 1% blessed |
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02-27-2008, 05:44 AM
| #70 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 583
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Welcome, SM, and I hope you find what you need to have the happy, joyous and free from obviously sweet foods addication. I am grateful for the large number of posts that are being generated over the past few months...because I learn from others about their experiences, stength and hope. I believe I am adding to my recovery foundation every time I come here, whether I choose to post or not. Sometimes I come here 2 or 3 times after I have posted just to see who has added what experience. Thank you all for sharing. Life is up and down, and rarely fair. But I am continuing to learn how to deal with my addictive-complulsive nature. My life gets better and better. I will take another 24 hours of OS sobriety, please. |
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02-27-2008, 06:31 AM
| #71 (permalink) |
| came-came to-came to believe Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: east coast
Posts: 788
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I didn't have the right foods available to me because I was unprepared.....didn't plan.... I am not sure if I should change my date----I ate what I "had" in the house cause I had to eat something......I have to really weigh it out....as much as I don't want to change my date, as MUCH as I DON'T want to go back to day one, I don't want to get stuck in rationalizing either....it's painful but this will FORCE me to be accountable for planning better.....to think ahead for the betterment of my health and well being...push myself that one step harder for "me", because me and my abstinence are worth it....and quite honestly everyone else in my life gets that extra step from me so they get the best I can give to them.....I think my lesson here is to keep me on the top of that list cause the better I am, the more assurance that everyone else in my life gets the best of me to....especially me.......wow I am not used to putting myself first..... I think I have just answered my own question. Yes please set my to day one---I say this with my head held high because I have learned a lot through this---I see clearly what I am going to do differently moving forward. I do believe this is the most productive “slip” I have ever had.
__________________ I'll let go of what I was, accept myself for what I am- and become who I was meant to be! 2-15-08 |
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02-27-2008, 07:05 AM
| #72 (permalink) |
| Rockin 'n' rollin' everyday Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Midwest
Posts: 583
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Cali, we both have had long term continuous days of being abstinate from OS's. And we know how difficult it is to continue that. Regardless, as long as we keep coming back, we are making progress. We learn from each other. Gambi...thanks for the insight into testing how far and how often I test my sobriety. Man, do I do that....more so in the other addiction I have. I have to work on feeling that I am worthy of it. |
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02-27-2008, 07:49 AM
| #73 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 240
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To paraphrase Cali - What are you doing to keep yourself at the top of your list today? I have planned my breakfast and lunch and will get some exercise. I will take five minutes for myself to meditate and get myself centered. I will practice deep breathing techniques to calm myself before my dental appointment. I will do these things to provide gentle and loving care to myself. |
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