finally

[dancingkat]

at last i can get back on my meds for moods, depression and hopefully to help with the ED. for weeks now i have been out because of our move to texas. i do love it here more than AZ yet its been truly terrible dealing with these wild moods and i am sure that has made the ED much worse. i am starting them today once i go pick them up and then by march if the ED hasnt improved some then for sure i will check in the SAFE program in denton. i havent yet since i am not able to cause my insurance is lagging behind from the state to state move. i tried actually in jan - i was all packed, signed in and then they ran the insurance and turned me down. of course they said it wasnt personal. i guess i looked pretty upset. i had my heart set on getting help and being free from the ED and it was really a let down. it was as if i saw a door out of hell and then it was slammed in my face. i did relapse on alcohol that day. of course that didnt help anything. it never does but as an addict i wanted those few hours of relief and that day the anxiety and depression became overwhelming. when i am on the right meds i never consider drinking and it also seems the purging lessens and evne goes away.
so well i start 6oomg of trileptol, lexapro, geodon and trazadone. Geodon never worked well in the past but the doc said it could have bene too low a dose. so looks liek i am trying it again. i do hope this doc listens better to me when i check back in after a month when i say to him how i feel and so he can lower or raise or change meds as needed. AZ docs were terribel and no matter what i would say they NEVER listened and once last year i was so bad off i checked myself in st lukes for awhile so somebody would listen and adjsut and change the meds. I left there feeling better than i had in months and that was last march and then till nov 2007 i did much better. then i ran out of meds. THe relationship with my ex (who i live with) is strained and its really been trully rough. sigh so i hope things do start to get better. the next step is getting in to the CBT therapy they offer here. that will help too.

[Gambaru]

((((((dancingkat))))) Keep on keeping on.