Food Plan

[Gambaru]

((((SSP)))) My heart breaks for you because I could have written exactly what you wrote 1000000000000000000023490283409234 times. The one person you are really letting down is yourself. I know what the self-punishment is like. Just for today, I decide I am worth being healthy and giving my body what it needs. I have a goal of swimming a long race in December so that also gives me somethingto focus on.

You may want to stop weighing yourself too. Juding yourself by a number isn't a good thing. Try on a pair of trousers or something that should fit works better for me. Most of all, remember we are here for you!

The other thing that makes a massive difference for me is a support group. I'm not in OA anymore but that could certainly help having people to call. I'm in an online exercise group with other swimmers and though their relationship with food is totally normal - weirdos!! - it's really good to be able to share. We're not supposed to live in isolation!

[Biscuits]

SSP don't be so hard on yourself, try to remember that it is a desease we are dealing with here and recovery from any desease takes time. Our addiction is cuffing, powerful and baffling and will strike at us at any opportunity because it does not want us to keep getting up and fighting it but the key to getting recovery is to keep showing up and battling on. Keep moving forward taking with you what works and leaving the rest behind.

One day at a time is all any of us have here and i'm not counting today until it is over and tomorrow begins. I agree with Gambaru about the weighing scales though, do you need to punish yourself even further after being in the grips of the food obsession. I think not, God loves you as you are and he knows the struggle you are going through, you are not letting anyone down here - you are doing the best you can one day at a time.

Love and hugs

[Nina Kay]

Dearest SSP, I'm so sad to hear that you are struggling even more right now. I recognize everything that you have just said, as feelings and thoughts that I used to have daily about my eating and weight loss. I used to feel so embarassed in front of God and so angry at myself for letting Him down, day after day. He would forgive me everytime and let me know how much He loves me still and then I would just go do it again. I wasn't just letting me down, I was letting my Gracious Loving God down and I just couldn't stand to keep doing that, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. Well, after being in OA for a while and coming here for a while, I learned that my real problem was that I was trying to be the one in control of something that I obviously don't have any control over and my God was waiting for me to relinquish that control and turn it over to Him. I'm supposed to ask Him to take over with my eating disorder because I am powerless over my eating and my life has become unmanageable. I have come to believe that a Power greater than myself (God) can restore me to sanity in this area of my life and I have made a decision to turn my will and my eating disorder over to the care of God. Don't be so hard on yourself anymore please. If you do then I should let you know that I will have to be that hard on myself too. I have been many times.

The first 3 steps of the 12 step program of OA are:
I can't.
God can.
I think I'll let Him.

I've also read this saying lately: If I concentrate on my weight, I will lose my recovery, but if I concentrate on my recovery, I will lose the weight.

Don't quit. Keep coming back. We are here for you. We understand from personal experience what you are dealing with. (((((((((((Loving Hugs))))))))))

[sugarssweetpea]

Nina,

I have started working the steps in December. I am currently on step 4. I meet with a girl friend of mine that was in a year long recovery program. We meet once a week for about an hour. I think that I am also going to start going to Celebrate Recovery. Our church has one, but does not offer childcare as of now, but another friend of mine has asked me to go with her to one that does have free childcare. I am going to go starting this Friday. My friend that I met with about the steps & I have agreed to become accountablity to one another for our quiet time. We both need to get up at about 5:30 am & both struggle with it, so are going to call each other to make sure we are up. I know that is where I am failing. I have not been praying surrender daily. I have not been praying over the temptation when it comes & have not been reciting & memorizing the scripture verses that help me through. I thank you all for your encouraging words & support. You all mean a lot to me.

Gambaru, exactly how much is that number you wrote??? Anyway, thank you & yes I agree about the weighing. I become obsessed with it & cannot focus on anything else. You all know the routine.

Biscuits,
Thank you as well for your support & ES&H. I appreciate you all.

[Neagrm]

Sugarsweetpea, thanks so much for all you've shared on this thread. I just read it for the first time. Your honesty and the way you express yourself so well are very helpful for me. I identify with all you've said, all the questions and observations. I am struggling with the same. Thanks for saying it "out loud."

You're an inspiration to me, setting a good example of not giving up despite wrestling with the frustrations, etc. You're keeping at it, working on spiritual areas of your life. You're not alone, and you're on the right track.

Nea

[sugarssweetpea]

I have not posted a food plan in awhile. Even though I was not sticking to it 100%, I seemed to be eating healthier when I was posting it, so I am going to give that another try.

Breakfast: Bowl of Grape Nuts & banana (1% milk)

Lunch: Salad w/veggies & chicken breast

Dinner: Chicken (whole with skin removed), veggies, potatoes

If I snack, it will be nuts, fruit or veggies.

I thank you all for your support & encouragement. I did get up this morning & have my quiet time with God. I feel better. I have also prayed for continual surrender to His will.

[dave47]

Glad you are more positive SSP, i only weigh myself about every 3 weeks. Much as i have my goal i don't want it to rule my life. I started trying to eat healthy in September and by Christmas eve i had lost 30lbs. I weighed in the other day and had only lost another pound, but we have been through Christmas and new year plus it's a pound less than before.
You can never disappoint God SSP and it takes courage to post when things aren't going well, best wishes for today.

[sugarssweetpea]

I ate a half of a bowl of leftover chili with noodles in it as a snack as well in the middle of the afternoon, but did not have any potatoes with dinner. I stuck to the rest of the plan.

Today:

Breakfast: Bowl of Wheaties & banana, cup of coffee

Lunch: Salad with chicken, water, orange

Dinner: Have not decided yet (sorry). Have not planned it yet as we are going to church. Maybe a sandwich or something. It will be healthy. I will post what it was later.

Snack: Wheat thins.

[Gambaru]

Good work SSP. Sounds like you listened to your body and ate when you were hungry but then adapted your meal afterwards. Well done!

[sugarssweetpea]

I ended up having 4 cheese sandwich crackers & a can of tuna in water for dinner. I was hungry when I got home & the wheat thins were stale, so I had a can of ravioli & some cheese/peanut butter crackers. 1% milk to drink.

Today.....

Breakfast: Wheaties, banana, 1% milk, cup coffee.

Lunch: Salad with beans instead of chicken

Dinner: Fish, veggies, potatoes

Snack: Oatmeal Teddy Grahams

[sugarssweetpea]

I ended up having some goldfish as well for a snack & I am having pasta for dinner. Trying to eat as healthy as I can. Like I said before, when I try to stick to a plan, I sometimes am not in mood to eat what I planned. Do not have a taste for it anymore. I hope this will change someday, it does not happen every day, but I am focusing on eating healthier & exercising. Thank you for all of your support.

[dave47]

Goldfish?

[sugarssweetpea]

Childrens baked cheese crackers in the shape of a fish.

[Gambaru]

SSP - Can I give you a word of warning about the possible sugar content in those? The brands you have may be okay but if sugar or any ose is in the top few ingredients it could be quite high. This means it could make your cravings worse after. And if you want to tell me to chuff off, that's fine too ;-) You're doing good.

[sugarssweetpea]

Gam, I would never tell youto chuff off. All advise is greatly appreciated. The ingredient list is as follows: Pepperidge Farm Goldfish:

Made with smiles and unbleached enriched wheat flour (flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamin mononitrate (vitamin b1), riboflavin (vitamin b2), folic acid), cheddar cheese (pastuerized cultured milk, salt enzymes), annatto, vegetable oils (sunflower, canola and/or soybean) contains 2 percent or less of: salt, yeast, sugar, spices, autolyzed yeast, leavening (monocalcium phosphate, ammonium bicarbonate, baking soda) and onion powder.

The total carbohydrate for a serving (55 pieces), is 20g with sugars less than 1 gram & protein 4 grams.

What do you think?

[Gambaru]

Definitely lower in sugar than I expected. Good news! What's the fat content?

[Nina Kay]

Dave, are there no goldfish snacks in England? They are really big here in the States. All of the kids love to eat them and alot of adults too.

It sounds like you're doing good, SSP. I really like your input, Gambaru. And the discussion between the two of you was very informative. Thanks. Keep it up.

[dave47]

Thanks Nina, they may well be available here but i have never heard of them.
Hope you are okay today SSP.

[sugarssweetpea]

I am doing well mentally, but my food intake has really stunk lately. The weekends pose to be very hard for me. Hard to control my eating. Just like when I used to party, the weekends were always worse, it is coming to be the same with food. I have blown this one way out, will be back on track on Tuesday & will try harder next weekend. I am sorry for all those whom I let down. Thank you for your support, concern & understanding.

[Gambaru]

You can get back on track SSP. You're letting yourself down, not us. Once you're up to it, it'd be a good idea to sit down and think about what happened that led to that first bite.

[sugarssweetpea]

Thanks Gam,
I have already been thinking about that. Trying to learn what triggers it. I just find it funny that when I was using (even though I used during the week as well), Thursday night always started the "big" partying. I find that happening with food as well. Same addictive behavior I had then, different substance. I am currently working the steps as well to try to figure out where all this stemmed from. I have figured out that I have only replaced one for another my entire life. Need this addictiveness to be gone. Need the freedom from Jesus I am supposed to be living in. I am also starting to go to a Celebrate Recovery this Friday. Thank you all for all of your support.

[Gambaru]

Well done SSP. The steps are an amazing way of learning self-awareness and the mental and emotional part of our addiction.

[Biscuits]

Hey Babe

Hold on in there, you are not alone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From my own experience of this desease i know that i must continue to do the next right thing and the one thing i choose not to do today is beat myself for things i am powerless over.

God in his wisdom helps me each day to learn lessons about myself and the life i am leading. In the early days of recovery i was stuck in all the negative crap of my life and could not see any positive. I am so greatful today that God was doing for me what i could not do for myself, he gave me a place to go each week where i could be honest about my addiction and how i felt about myself. I was able to listen and learn from others who had battled the food and sat with love, peace and serenity shining out of their eyes, i wanted what whese dear friends had and they were willing to share their experience with me. I don't know if you manage to get to OA meetings but there are people there who inspire me each week, not just the longtimers with their many years of abstinence but the members who struggle and still show up week after week wanting the miracle of freedom for bondage.

I myself found recovery hard to begin with, i came into OA thinking that i would follow a diet and become slim overnight (howling at myself lol), working the steps has taken me on a long hard journey, one where i have had to take my life apart and put it back together with a new attitude. When i first tuned up at OA i was a very secretive binge eater (Secretive in the fact that know one saw how much i was eating, the fact that i weighed in at more then 19 stone was a big giveaway though lol) anyhow i showed up and took step one and accepted for the first time in my life that i was powerless over food and all hell broke loose for me. It was as if the food got worse not better, i'm sure it didn't but it felt like it because i stopped being secretive aout what i was eating and started showing people the real me. I felt like i was failing because all of a sudden i was eating huge amounts of food in front of my family and friends. I did not realise but it was the beginning of truly accepting myself as i was and a turning point in my life because the more i accepted about the food and the hold it had over me the more i was able to accept the reasons why i overate.

Working through the steps has been a long and sometimes raw experience but i have not had to do it alone, God provided me with such a support net work and when i got stuck into self pity about my life they basically grabbed hold of me and hugged and loved me until it faded.

Life for me today is amazing, i no longer turn to the food and have not for many years but i can still forget to turn my life over to HP and chaos ensues. I have to remember that when i was desperate for recovery in those early days i was willing to go to any lengths, i still need to go to any lengths, the work i put in last year or even yesterday will not guarantee my freedom from food today, only what i do in this 24 hours will do that so just for today i am going to call my sponsor with my foodplan, contact a newcomer and spend some time reading literature and thanking God for the miracles in my life today.

You are a miracle each day that you reach out and contront this desease, do not get stuck in the negative, keep focusing on what you have done for your rovery today and if by any chance it is not enough then be willing to whatever it takes. Asking for help for me was an alien concept as i had to be very sufficient from a very early age but today i never go it alone, i put my pride aside and scream from the rooftops if i need help.

Hope i haven't gone on too long and i hope you begin to see that you are gaining insight into recovery with each day you get up and fight. (Even when the food seems to be controlling your life, the fact that you are not hiding it shows recovery)

Love and ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))

[sugarssweetpea]

A friend of mine, who is a psychology major, is doing an experiment to further write a book on the positive effect eating healthy, exercising & reading the bible has on a person. I am participating in it. It is a 10 week study. I am getting excited about it. I was pretty anxious about it & started getting negative & stuff this afternoon during the evaluation, but now I am feeling better about it. The guidelines are as follows:

Each serving of grain must contain at least 2g of fiber. Non-fruit items contain more than 10g of sugar per serving. Limit saturated fat to no more than 3-5g per day. All dairies must be either low fat or fat free. Milk needs to be either 1% or skim. Participants may have one cup of coffee per day and no omre than one diet soda. Participants must have breakfast each day. Participants must eat every 2-4 hours.

Servings:
Dairy: 2-4 servings
Lean meat: 1-2 servings
Non-meat protein: 2-4 servings
Fruit: 2-4 servings
Non-starchy veggies 3-7 servings
Starchy veggies: 0-1 serving
Grain: 4-5 servings

Exercise: 30-45 minutes of cardiovascular activity 3-4 times per week
20-30 minutes of strength training 2-3 times per week.

Participants must read the bible for 15-30 minutes at least 6 times per week.

We are going to get re evaluated in 5 weeks and then at the end of the program.

We get one free day a week.

I think that this will really get a jump start on a healthier way of eating for my life. I am so ready to be free from this bondage of food addiction. I am also going to continue working the steps & going to start celebrate recovery (tenatively 2 weeks from now).

Please pray for me as I start this program. I really want it to work. I really want to learn from it & be able to be accountable to the person who is running the experiment.

Thank you.

[Gambaru]

I hope it goes well for you SSP. The food plan sounds very balanced, and I like the exercise plan too. Have they given you an idea of how big each serving should be in terms of volume?