new here

[Sammybear]

I'm not even sure where to start. I have a story, I came from somewhere, but I've struggled with my weight ever since my first pregnancy when I was 18. I am now 30 and weigh more than I have in a long time. I had my second daughter 2 months ago, and over the course of my pregnancy lost about 30 pounds but noticed that I'm slowly putting it back on, despite my efforts to breastfeed and keep the weight off.

I am a compulsive eater. I almost always want food in my mouth. I am also an ex smoker (I quit right before my last pregnancy), it's been about 10 months since I've had a cigarette. I have struggled with depression for my entire life, starting when I was diagnosed a manic depressive at age 9. Both of my parents are either currently or recovered drug addicts and alcoholics. I am a non-drinker, and have never done recreational drugs.

I am hoping that I can get some direction on a good support community for someone in my situation. I struggle with a lot of the issues on these forums, but I'm not sure where to start. I primarily posted here because my weight problem is currently keeping me in a deep depression and I don't feel like I can discuss my emotional problems with my fiancee because I don't thin he'd be sensitive to my issues since he's never dealt with them himself.

The holidays seem to just make things worse for me. For one, my first daughter lives nearly 3000 miles away and the holidays are really difficult for me without her. It's cold here, and it's hard to get motivated to exercise, but I feel like I'm too young to give up on life. I know that I have the strength in me somewhere I'm just not sure how to find it and use it.

I have almost zero will power and my fiancee is constantly eating junk food and bringing it home. He is about 10 years younger than me so I guess his body responds differently not only because of that but because his metabolism is much higher and he's male.

Can anyone tell me if there's a place online to discuss my issues?

[Nina Kay]

Hello Sammybear and Welcome to the Eating Disorders Forum of SR. I hope that you'll keep coming back. There are alot of us who struggle with the things you are struggling with. I am a compulsive overeater and I have fought depression my entire life. I'm now watching my 30 yr old daughter begin her fight with depression, although she's never had a weight problem. Other issues that you are dealing with are issues that I've heard others here discuss. There are several forums here at SR that will be of help to you, like Adult Children Of Alcoholic or Addict Parents. There is a smoking forum here also. There is also online Overeater's Anonymous Meetings that we have link to at the top of the page in the stickys. Please feel free to check out all of the Stickys at the top of this forum because they are chock full of links to sites that can help with various issues, as far as Eating Disorders are concerned. In all of the Forums here, there are some Stickys at the top of each one that can connect you to helpful thinks in the areas they are dealing with. Just look around and read and post and you'll be suprised at how much support and encouragement you recieve. Keep coming back and that's the key.
(((((((((((((((Welcoming Hugs))))))))))))))))

[sugarssweetpea]

Hello Sammybear,
Nice to meet you. I as well struggle with overeating, sugar addiction & depression (since about age 12), anxiety. I have found much help & support on the forums on this site. Please explore & post on whichever one(s) you need to. They are all great with great people to share with. Peace & Love to you.

[mikel60]

Hi Sammybear,
Welcome.
Mike

[Gambaru]

Hi Sammy,

Nice to meet you. I'm a newcomer too. I totally relate to your struggles with depression and wanting to put food in your mouth. I know I have to drag myself back to the gym as it helps me feel so much better. I know once I get there I'll feel better so why aren't I there yet? Just remembered I should go take an iron tablet too.

It's a shame your fiance isn't more supportive of you. Have you tried to talk to him?

G

[dave47]

Hi Sammy and welcome. Just to follow on from Gambaru, try and speak to him and get some sort of compromise situation. I haven't eaten great this last week, which isn't really a surprise but my wife wants to lose some weight in the new year. Think with this we can help each other and cut down on the junk food coming into the house. The kids won't like it but it will benefit them as well, best wishes.

[lightseeker]

Hi Sammy,

I'm new here too and struggle with depression, emotional eating, and having "junk food eaters" all around me. It's difficult to stay away from all of that when it is right there in front of me.

Looking forward to sharing more with you! Donna