Venting and a question re: triggers...

[roxiestone]

I have a family situation that arose last night that causes me a great deal of emotional distress. I feel anxious, angry, frustrated, pissed off that my family can't handle their own crap - so I'm feeling put upon, etc. I'm trying to craft a response to the email I received and keep my boundaries firmly in place. (My family wouldn't know an appropriate boundary if it bit them). I'm attempting to respond in an adult, but firm manner and I want to get my peace back!

In the past, it's this anxiety/anger that would trigger a binge or a rage explosion!

I don't want to feel this way, nor do I want to continue the bad behaviors that are a product of my emotional state.

How do you handle your emotional triggers? I'm writing about mine on this board and looking for some alternative ways of handling these emotions.

[Pony]

Roxi,

Well, writing about them here usually helps me to some degree. Just the part of getting it out...out of me and down where I can see it, read it I guess. Makes the feelings and emotions more recognizable and easier to deal with. I guess because in order to write about it you have to first acknowledge them...lable it...and then let it go or deal with it in whatever manner is appropriate and productive.

sometimes if it is just anger or frustration, exercising helps a great deal. If I could run long distance, I think I would have covered the US like Forest Gump in dealing with family situations !! lol

[roxiestone]

I did go to spin class at lunch and the exercise did help take the edge off. I feel much more centered. I also sat down and wrote and email that I WILL NOT be sending. It felt good to get that off of my chest as well.

I decided to respond to specific points and leave it at that. I didn't offer reasons why I declined to do what was asked - just said that I was unwilling to do so at this time. It seems that even if I give reasons, they just serve as an inroad into arguing me from my position.

[cali]

Roxie-
Yup---I have been there many times--and lost "time" that I had built up over "others".

I am powerless over people places and things.

I was told that time and time again. When I truly accept that on a daily basis, then it doesn't matter how others are handling themselves. I get through one situation at a time.
This applies to all my "triggers" with booze, cigs food etc. It doesnt matter what the situation or the substance is, that principle is the same.