Advice needed

[mamashell]

As you may know from some of my posts, I have an eating disorder. My eating disorder started as anorexia when I was 17, progressed to bulimia when my Mother found out & now I am somewhere between being a compulsive overeater & an anorexic, if that makes any sense to you all. I go through periods of emaciation straight back into obesity.

I have a child age 22 who is a recovered anorexic. Though I am always watching for the signs. I am a pessimest & don't often believe in recovery for this, more a remission type thing.

Anyway, my daughter is 12 years old. She was BORN with an eating disorder. She is NEVER full. She is 5'9 & weighs 260 pounds. She doesn't eat junk. She eats food. her health is in danger, already high lipids & blood pressure.

My peditrican sent her to an ED specialist. because of my family history they wanted to be careful with her. Unfortunately all eating disorders are related & I am living proof how one can esculate into another. Therefore, I don't do enough to keep her weight down for fear she will stop eating completely & die.

She cannot go to the ED clinic. It costs 1000's of dollars & my insurance won't cover anything labeled obesity.

How can I help her? Do any of you have any suggestions? She gained 40 pounds in the summer months.

I make her plate myself, healthy foods normal potions. But when I go to bed she sneaks & eats. She also knows how to cook.

I really need help with this. Because of my insanity my daughter is suffering.
Are you all aware eating disorders can be genetic? The specialist informed me of this during our consulation.

[kelliegirl]

Thank you for sharing. I wish I had something to offer for advice but I'd like to share a story.

I went to spend the night with a friend once when I was in high school. We got off of the bus together at her house and we were home before her younger brother. When we went into the kitchen I was shocked. Her mom kept the cabinets and the refridgerator padlocked. The boy would eat all of the food if left to his own devices. He had no impulse control whatsoever and her mother had gotten so desperate to keep him from getting even more overweight.

All of these years later I still don't know if that was helpful. Sure, the family wasn't going broke keeping a family of 7 in food but I think that deprivation caused him to want it all the more. You don't want to make food into something forbidden therefore it will continue to be an obsession.

[Pony]

Mama,

It is a hard one for sure. I come from childhood obesity, it is throughout my family genes. but it is also a learned trait as well as an emotional issue. There are many underlining reasons for compulsive overeating or sneaking food. Lots of shame/guilt goes on inside and the self-esteem becomes very low.

Have you tried groups like Overeaters Anonymous. They deal with the emotional issues surrounding food and use the 12-steps and support system to work through and make healthier choices. It has to come from her as well. She has to be willing to and want to be healthy.

With you having an ED problem as well, if you both worked a program together, separate but together, it might be great support for each other as well as you being an influence and roll model for her. I know that when I started on my "healthier eating and exercise" program, my 10 yr. old jump right in there with me. I had noticed that she was learning some really bad eating behaviors that could possibly lead to an eating disorder....so I became more open about my program with her. She is now learning along with me about health and exercise and body types and how to be proud of ourselves. It's not easy because I have lousy self-esteem from years of beating myself down and allowing it done to me also.

[BeeBee]

Hi Mamashell, Pony offers great advice, perhaps you and your daughter can battle this together and have each other to lean on. You are in my prayers.