they call my anorexic

[aloneandinsane]

i dont see the "frail skin and bones" little girl that they see when i look in the mirror. i feel fat, like i have chunk in all the wrong spots. i weigh 120 and i am 5'9. i want to lose qabout 10-15 more pounds but it is so hard since i quit doing meth i have actually gained 7 pounds, that is why i havent eaten anythin in 3 almost 4 days now and i wont until i lose 5 and then i can eat a little and then quit again and so on until i feel better, right?? oh..what is wrong with me?????

[Nina Kay]

aloneandinsane,
Welcome to the Eating Disorders Forum here at SR. I'm so glad that you've found us. Please keep coming back here as often as you can. I hope that you'll take the time to check out the Stickys at the top of our forum. They are chock full of important and interesting information pertaining to the eating disorder that you are dealing with. Others will be along later to share with your their experience, strength & hope.

I do want to ask you to ask yourself: How important is it that you weigh so little? and Why is it so important that you weigh so little? I really think that one important thing that you might can do for yourself for a while is to not use any mirrors and just try to go by the facts of your weight and height. Health makes a person much more beautiful to look at than thinness. Really, I promise it does. Health is so much more attractive. I hope that you'll come around often so that we can all get to know you better. (((((((((((((((Caring Hugs)))))))))))))

[Done_With_It]

Originally Posted by aloneandinsane

i dont see the "frail skin and bones" little girl that they see when i look in the mirror. i feel fat, like i have chunk in all the wrong spots. i weigh 120 and i am 5'9. i want to lose qabout 10-15 more pounds but it is so hard since i quit doing meth i have actually gained 7 pounds, that is why i havent eaten anythin in 3 almost 4 days now and i wont until i lose 5 and then i can eat a little and then quit again and so on until i feel better, right?? oh..what is wrong with me?????

I did meth for the same reason, until I was ready to commit suicide. I will probably never see what other people see. Have you gone to therapy for your anorexia? I'm sure you know it's about more than weight. If you haven't been there yet, there's a really good site you may want to check out, www.somethingfishy.org
Glad to see you here. PM me anytime..
DWI

[mamashell]

Alone, *hugs* Sweetie, I am 5'6 & have weighed what you do. I , too thought I was still fat. I have seen pictures of myself at that weight, face sunken in, bones protruding through my clothing....
Anorexia is a disease. There is no ultimate goal weight. Your mirror lies to you. I hate to be blunt but the truth is I have seen friends die from this. I have watched them starve to death all along thinking they just needed to lose 5 more pounds.
I know it is sort of hypocritical of me to tell you this stuff. But it is easier to look at someone else & recognize illness.
Sorry for rambling. I just hate to see anyone where you are right now.