Starting Over Today.

[Nina Kay]

Well, here I am coming in here today to confess to you all, that I have completely gone off the deep end again, in every way. I hope that I'm not going to discourage anyone here. I went to the beach for a long weekend with my sister, daughter & neice and their children. While there, we had all of these goodies and I just let myself go and then we got back and there were birthdays to be celebrated and I'm like, oh well, I've already crashed, so what the heck. I also noticed that even before that I was doing bad with the food, because I was feeling so physically bad and just didn't seem to have the resolve that I needed to even care. Of course all of these are just the excuses that I let myself use and now here I am feeling horrible. My face and eyes are swollen and I'm soooooooo tired and I can't seem to make myself get up and get things done in my day that I really need to, but then I have to anyway. My body and joints are painful and I have no energy and just feel really heavy and tired.

Today, August 26, 2007 is the first day of the rest of my life. I have chosen this to be Day 1 for me to stay abstinent from sugar, aspertame, sodas, chips & popcorn. I also plan on starting again with my vitamin regimen. I didn't continue with them after the Dr. put me on steroids a couple of weeks ago. I felt that I was just having to put too many pills in my body. I've decided that I need to think of the vitamins more in the same category as healthy food than a medicine. Maybe then I'll be able to keep myself taking them like I need to. They really do always make such a difference in how I feel, healthwise. I wanted to come here to commit this decision to you all here, so that I can feel held accountable. I hope that I will come in here each day and report my progress and affect. I plan on doing that anyway.

Well, I certainly hope that everyone else here is doing alot better than I am right now. But now I will press on toward my goal of recovery from my Eating Disorder and forward to my new Healthy Life. I hope that each of you will come on this journey with me.

[cali]

((((Nina)))
Start where you stand-just get back on the beam-
you are honest, and can get right back in the swing of things!!
Keep coming back!!!

[Nina Kay]

Thank you Cali for your encouragement and support. I hope that you're doing well with your recovery program at this time.
((((((((((Thank you Hugs)))))))))))))

[ladyamalthea]

Nina,

Don't be too hard on yourself girl! Just like Cali said, you'll get right back into things. I think sometimes we all just need a weekend like that, and you know what? Sometimes that can actually help your metabolism as long as you get right back on track when you start to notice the effects of it, like you have. So you may have helped yourself more than hurt, believe it or not.

You've been doing so well. I looked at your list of things that you are abstaining from, and I think I would cry if I was being that strict with myself. Just trying to avoid OS's and work towards making healthier fat choices is hard enough for me! You are such an inspiration for so many people here. You can do it!

*hugs*

[Nina Kay]

Thanks Ladya.
I have abstained from these things for quite some time before. The chips and popcorn act like sugar in my body and I never get enough of them, plus they have so much salt which makes me swell and I have high blood pressure. The aspertame makes me very tired and makes my body feel very strange like I just consumed some chemicals and I've read that aspertame can do alot of crazy things to people, even cause seizures. And sodas make me have more chronic bladder and kidney infections. I can consciously feel my kidneys and bladder continually after a couple of them. Sugar itself does so many negative things to me that we've talked about before that it's hard to list it all. I honestly don't know why I'm ever tempted to consume any of this, but that is my ED. Thanks for your support.

[ladyamalthea]

I fully understand about sugar, and the high blood pressure too. I am prediabetic, and I swear sometimes I feel like anything I eat has a negative impact on my body lol.

Good luck

[historyteach]

(((Nina)))
One day at a time.
Do what is good for you.

I like the idea about viewing the vitamins more as a healthy food than a medicine. I, too, hate taking "too many pills."

You deserve all that is good in this world, Nina.
Don't forget it.

Shalom!

[mikel60]

Hi Nina,
I'm Mike and I was here a while back. Far from discouraging anyone, you have inspired me to start all over again myself. I lurk on this part of SR because I feel guilty about my lack of success. No longer. I'm taking your lead and posting that I am back and will stay back. Your courage is inspiring and has helped me today. Thanks!! Mike

[Nina Kay]

Wow Mike,
I do remember you and I'm glad to see that you're back. Welcome. Maybe we can help each other stay closer on the track toward health. Thanks so much for the encouraging words. I really appreciate you.

Hey Teach,
I want to thank you for saying such a sweet thing to me. And it's good to know that you get where I'm coming from with the vitamins. Your support means alot.

[kelliegirl]

Thank you Nina.

I wish I could get my eating under control. I've added exercise to my daily routine but I can't stop eating bad things. I do fine for a few days and then I blow it. I am fearful that I won't conquer the ED.

[smiling jack]

Hey Nina,

I just saw your thread. What you experienced, in my opinion, was a slip. It is not the end of the world. They happen to us all in OS. Success is doing what you are doing......learning what it happened....what was it inside of you...and get back on the self-discipline of one day at a time...doing the next right thing...and letting go of the bad stuff in the past.

Thank you for all the help you have been to me.

[mamashell]

*hugs* Everyone has slip ups. I am sure you will be right back on track.

[roxiestone]

"doing the next right thing..."

Great advice. Treat yourself just as you would a good friend. You wouldn't beat them up, so just pick up and start again. It's the starting again that's important.

[Pony]

Nina, sorry that I am late in seeing this. Of course you know that I have been gone over this weekend and I was so tired...I have been playing catch up. I don't have a lot of computer time at this moment, but...I wanted you to know that I hear ya girl and it is very inspiring to read your honesty and to know that you are not giving up.

I will come back later cause there's more, but have to get off for now.

[BeeBee]

{{{{{Hugs Nina}}}}}
You are in my thoughts and prayers. Have you identified your trigger?