Trying to get back on track!

[Pony]

Well, I started my week good. Yesterday and today I pushed myself into the gym and had a real good workout. After being away from it for about a month, it wasn't to hard to get in the workout. Just the motivation to get there, but I went!!

Hope all of you are having a good beginning of your week.

Pony

[Paulie]

Hey Pony -

Good for you! I know it is so hard, but I feel better after I go. Not the burst of energy better, not yet anyway :p , but better about going and taking care of myself.

Right now I am dealing with the self sabotage stuff that happens when i start to succeed at something. That voice in my head that tries to stop me.

We just have to take in one day at a time.

have a great day!!!!

[Pony]

Well it's the weekend and I didn't do to bad. I made it to the gym THurs., but Wed. and Fri. I had field trips with the schools. On one of the trips I at least got out of the bus (while wating for the group) and went for a walk. So that was good.

My food has been just OK not really overeating but not really eating all that healthy stuff either.

Now it's the weekend and we've got a really busy schedule. My youngest has a B-day party to go to from one of her school friends, and I have my oldest here with hubby and baby for the weekend. Actually they're staying at my mom's for tonight and here tomorrow after our big family BBQ at the park. I've got lots of family coming from all over tomorrow. Should be lots of fun. The only things about these family gatherings is that my mom always goes throgh this getting nervous and uptight if everything isn't just planned just right or goes off smoothly. She has such an explosive temper that it sets me off and puts a damper on things. I just have to remember to count ....... to 100 sometimes! lol

Pauline....I totally relate to the self-sabotage thing. One thing I still don't understand why (we) I do that to ourselves. I mean I know why, but I don't ...???? You know! I try to tell myself all those self-esteem building stuff, and yet I find myself still doing stuff to self-destruct. I mean what can I be thinking.

Hope you all have a great weekend!!

[antreeta]

Good topic.
And getting back on track.
Being easy and kind to ourselves.
I was really working my program last week. Really in touch with my higher power.
Then here comes my disease. My husband did something that really upset me, he gambled away part of the grocery and bill money. That is a new step for him.
Well, anyway, I had been abstinent all week, but half way through the night, I couldn't stand those feelings I was having. I was scared. (He asked me to trust him) (Ha! Wrong.) I was at work and acting all goofy because of all this. So I ate a piece of cake, then after I got home I binged on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Well, instead of worrying about how much abstinece I blew, I realzied it is not how much time we have being abstinent, it is about how we are living this very moment.
I was really unable to deal with my feelings. I was going to start bawling at work, I was not ready to do that. I used my only survival skill I had at that moment.
My higher power helped me see all of this.
I get so hung up on the number of days, weeks, months, years abstinent people are, that I really forget that is about progress not perfection.
So, I am not sabatoging myself today. I have to deal with this stuff and not stuff it all down with food.
Thanks you guys for listening.
HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!!

Love
Antreeta

P.S. Pony, I hope the BBQ goes/went well. We are here for you.

[Paulie]

Pony family things can be stressful, Antreeta is right, we are all there with you.

And antreeta, Thank YOU, for reminding me to give it to my HP, I have been forgetting that lately. I have been thanking him for all that I have, but forgetting that he gave it to me cause I Deserve it, a hard concept for me to grasp sometimes, so I sabotage myself when I am doing good, it is such a vicious circle.

Love to you all and yes, have a Great holiday.